


The Losing Season

by TeamScienceMegaNerds



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, F/F, Recreational Drug Use, as always sam and alex are repressed, look i wanted to write about soccer and cheerleading and that's that, strangers to friends to enemies to friends to hookups to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 52,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21863827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamScienceMegaNerds/pseuds/TeamScienceMegaNerds
Summary: The Midvale Blue Devils soccer team is poised to win a national championship with Alex Danvers as their leading striker. The only problem? Alex is coming off of a season-ending injury, her friends and family are collectively a hot mess, and there's the matter of Sam Arias who Alex may or may not be falling in love with.orThe soccerstar!Alex and cheerleader!Sam college AU that is the perfect excuse to use parties, administrative gatekeepers, and sports as thematic devices to remind everyone that Alex and Sam are in love.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers
Comments: 66
Kudos: 131





	1. New Year, New Captain

**Author's Note:**

> I have two unfinished fics, I know, but sometimes you just start writing something and this happens. I hope you enjoy!

It’s 92 degrees outside and the vibrant green pitch looks completely unassuming under the fluttering heat waves. The Midvale Blue Devils bench looks like it’s shimmering. It’s blistering hot but there are four girls stretching and hydrating on the far side of the field. One kicks a soccer ball between their legs, back and forth, like a warm-up ritual. Lucy Lane blazes across the field, she’s simultaneously pouring water down her neck and dribbling a soccer ball, looking like a woman on a mission. “Leslie flaked on filling up the water bottles, she only did twelve.” 

“Of fucking course,” Alex says as she steals the ball from Lucy and rifles it into the back of the net. The pair sprint back toward the athletic facility getting a curious glance from Vasquez. 

“What are you doing? Practice starts in five!” Vasquez reminds them. 

“Ask Willis!” Alex shouts over her shoulder. Vasquez doesn’t ask Leslie but instead returns to their stretching and watching Lucy and Alex rush into the building in a flurry. 

Alex and Lucy slip past a few football players and into the training room. They’ve got about five minutes before they get their whole lives ruined because Leslie was too lazy to fill up a few water bottles. They work like a well-oiled machine. Alex unscrews the caps, Lucy fills up the bottles, and Alex screws the lids on and places them snug in the holder. They’re so focused on their task at hand that they don’t even notice Lois entering the room with a few other cheerleaders. Lois whacks Lucy on the back and peers over her shoulder. “Stop hogging the water, dweeb.” 

“Give us two minutes!” Lucy yells while she and Alex work as fast as they can. So fast that Alex almost doesn’t notice the two other cheerleaders who are sitting in chairs behind them. One of the girls, Alex has absolutely never seen. She’s a brunette, with - at least from what Alex can see, an adorable smile - and she’s wearing an oversized shirt that has the logo of some heavy metal band. The other cheerleader, Alex certainly knows. Winn is bright, funny, and Alex mostly knows him through Kara and through some of their activities that overlap. “Asshole.”

“Hey, Alex,” Lois says wrapping her arm around Alex’s shoulder. “What’s got you two all up in arms?”

“Willis didn’t fill up enough water bottles and Coach makes us do suicides if everything isn’t ready in…” Alex glances up at the clock. “Two minutes.” Winn has started to notice the frantic energy buzzing around the room. He stops playing on his phone with the other cheerleader and waves ‘Hi’ to Alex. 

“Hey, Alex, have you met Nia?” Alex turns around as she screws the top on the last water bottle. “She’s a freshman.”

“Winn!” Nia blushes. “She doesn’t have to know that.” 

“Hi, Nia.” Alex says politely. “Oh! You’re _Nia_. You live with Lois and Winn.” Alex doesn’t have time to question how on Earth a freshman ended up living off-campus in a nice apartment with Lois and Winn. “Catch you guys later.” Lucy sprints out of the room first, with Alex close behind. They’ve got less than a minute to make it on the field. As they sprint out on the green, Alex notices that there are a lot more cheerleaders stretching on the track. 

They make it, just in time for Coach Grant to circle them up and go over a few things before practice starts. “Okay, everyone! Practice today and tomorrow are scheduled like always. Conditioning with Henshaw in the mornings and then you’ll be out here with me.” Coach Grant seems to be checking things off a list, Alex gets distracted by Lucy who is making faces at Siobhan. “We have an exhibition game on Saturday against Pine Hill. The bus leaves at 12:30 and we’ll have a team lunch catered by Noonan’s.” The team cheers, with Lucy making the most noise, that gets a smile out of Cat. “Lastly, as you can probably tell by now, we have some new spectators for our practices.” Cat motions to the cheerleaders. “That’s a long story with a lot of men making annoying decisions but...it is what it is and it should not alter our practices in any way. Understood?” 

Leslie wiggles her eyebrows after a long moment of checking out some of the cheerleaders. Lucy rolls her eyes but Alex tries to stay focused. 

This is the most trying time of the year. After spending most of the summer balancing her research assistant work in the biology lab and two-a-day conditioning sessions. Alex was just getting over a major injury and she was excited - if not a little apprehensive - about coming back. They still had another week until classes start and that’ll really be the test of Alex’s persistence and balance. Even though she’d gotten hurt at the end of the previous season, Alex was still the leading scorer and next to Lucy, she was the most consistent too. After a rocky freshman year, where Alex had struggled to connect well with the other players on the field and off, Alex had blossomed into Cat’s go-to player. And the fact that the soccer team had a house definitely aided in those off the field bonding sessions. 

But, of course, Alex wasn’t a captain. That gig belonged to Sara, the only senior on the team. At least, Alex, Lucy, and Vasquez could vie for the role next year. After unceremoniously breaking up into teams of two, the soccer team moves into agility drills. Despite being best friends, Alex and Lucy still manage to be extremely competitive when it comes to things like this. They enjoy trying to outsprint each other and the shit talk never stopped. 

“Whoa check her out.” Leslie says nudging Alex in the ribs. Vasquez looks over at where Leslie is incessantly pointing with her thumb. “Oh, wait, I’ve seen that chick before.” Leslie props her hand against her forehead to block the sun out. Alex doesn’t even look, instead, she focuses on drinking water and not getting involved in drama - of any kind. Living in a house with a bunch of rowdy athletes has its perks - the soccer house is known for its parties and Alex has a large corner room which gives her enough space to have a small futon and a nice flat screen in the corner - but there isn’t much of a method to the madness. Almost no one on the team is straight and this leads to a lot of romantic drama, well, hook-up drama. There isn’t a lot of romance going on. Vasquez’s curiosity has finally gotten the best of them and they look too. Alex can literally see Vasquez’s eyes wider. 

“Wow.” They don’t lament because Coach Grant is blowing her whistle and urging them to get started on their penalty kicks drill. 

Leslie is a brilliant goalie. She can be annoying and too loud at times but she’s smart and knows exactly when to come off her line. Leslie and Siobhan are trouble makers off the field - Siobhan a lot more reserved and stable - but on the field, they are solid as the core of the defensive line. Alex comes up to the penalty line and takes a deep breath. If she makes it, then her team gets let out of practice early while the other squad, who are sporting blue pinnies, have to take fifteen laps around the field. “Don’t fuck it up, Danvers,” Lucy says, trying to get in her head. Cat is watching intently along with everyone else. 

Leslie is doing something with her hands, waving them back and forth around her hips trying to distract Alex. But, as Leslie and maybe everyone else seems to forget, Alex is cold as ice when it comes to things like this. Alex places the ball on the line takes a step back. As soon as Cat blows the whistle, Alex shoots the ball into the bottom left corner of the goal. Leslie dives but she has no chance, this is exactly what Alex lives for. 

The blue pinnie squad groans but Vasquez jumps on Alex’s back as they jog off the field and toward the locker room. “Yo, Alex!” Alex looks over to where Lois has paused her choreography explanation. “Nice shot.” 

Lois is only saying that because she can obviously see Lucy beginning to run around the field. Alex shakes her head as she goes to get changed. As Alex is showering she hears a ton of yelling from the side of the locker room that houses the actual lockers. “What’s happening?” Alex asks to no one but Lucy rushes into the room out of breath and looking unsubtly shocked. “Lucy, what happened?” 

“Sara turned a corner while we were running and she fucking ate it.” Lucy takes a deep breath. “Doesn’t look good.” 

“Are you kidding?” Alex quickly cleans her body wash off and grabs her towel. Leslie bolts into the room similarly out of breath. 

“Sara’s ACL is toast. We’re gonna need a new captain.” 

* * *

It isn’t an ACL injury but Sara does end up tearing her MCL. Cat sends out one of her typical no-bullshit emails - they will, in fact, need a new captain. Lucy comes into Alex’s bedroom, without warning, and flops down on the bed beside her. “So, Captain, what’s up?” 

“What are you talking about?” Alex’s brain is barely working. She’s exhausted and slightly rattled from the news about Sara. Frankly, Alex wants to be alone. She still has some last-minute books to order for her classes and she needs to clean her room after Leslie decided to bring her XBOX into Alex’s room - because _your screen is like mega-HD -_ and spilled a can of beer all over her carpet. Kara will probably want to grab food or stress her out about school or life or Eliza and Alex cannot for the life of her figure out why she keeps hearing so much screaming coming from downstairs. 

“Did you read the email?”

“Obviously.”

“So…” Lucy shrugs. “Siobhan is too boring, Vasquez is too quiet, and if Leslie’s captain then I’ll fucking quit.” 

“We’ll have to see what happens.” Alex is almost thankful that Lucy is in here. Lately, Alex has struggled with not going all doomsday with her thoughts. There are a lot of pressures to the game and Alex knows that neither of them would be here without each other. There’s another loud _BANG_ from downstairs and Alex groans. “What the hell are they doing down there?” 

“Siobhan apparently knows every WWE wrestler’s best move and she’s demonstrating on Leslie.” Lucy laughs. “Let’s go make sure no one dies.” 

When they get downstairs, Siobhan is standing on the arm of their 8-person sectional couch with Leslie laying on the ground nearly dying of laughter. Vasquez is standing in the corner eating out of a pizza box and trying to stay out of whatever ridiculous antics that are going on. “Do you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” 

Alex decides to join Vasquez rather than listen to Siobhan explain what a “Figure Four” is. Alex is halfway through her slice of pizza when there’s a knock at the front door. Leslie practically rolls to the door and flings it open allowing Lois to enter. Unlike earlier where Lois was wearing her floral leggings and a nice and clean tank top, right now Lois looks as though she’s been working at a construction site. “You look like shit,” Lucy says as soon as she spots her older sister. 

“Thanks,” Lois says with an eye roll. “Anyway, who wants to help us move a couch up three flights of stairs?” Everyone in earshot remains completely silent, including Alex, but Lois puts on one hell of a pout and Alex starts to feel a little bad for her. “Come on, please.”

“Why can’t you ask Clark? Or one of his stupid friends?” Lucy asks. 

“Because I’m a fucking feminist. Come on.” Alex stands, reluctantly, and soon after Lucy and Leslie follow. After spending two years in a moldy little house across campus, the soccer team had finally moved away from the Greek Life houses and right in the mix of club and sport houses. They had air conditioning which was their saving grace, especially in the summer, and it was a lot closer to some of the off-campus housing options, like Lois’s apartment. The walk is short and mainly filled with Leslie and Lucy doing re-enactments of how Sara fell earlier that day. 

They arrive quickly and find Winn sitting on a navy blue couch that’s blocking the door to the building. It is definitely a fire hazard but Winn jumps up excitedly when he spots them approaching. “I love you guys!”

“Relax, let’s see if we can get it up the stairs first.” Alex climbs over the couch and Leslie follows her. Lois, Winn, and Lucy stand on the other side. “Wait, can one of you stand higher up on the stairs so we can get a look at what’s happening?” 

“I’m on it!” Alex turns and spots Nia who is wearing a giant hoodie and joggers. “Hey, sorry to hear about the player who got hurt.”

“It’s okay, Sara was only a captain cause she’s a senior,” Lucy informs her. “She was lowkey a cunt.” They lift the couch and start on their way up the stairs. 

“So, that means you’ll have a new captain?” Nia motions for Lucy, Winn, and Lois to lift the bottom of the couch a little higher. “Who do you think it’ll be?” Nia asks. 

“Alex.” Lois, Lucy, and Leslie say in unison. Alex tries not to blush but she feels a little honored by the confidence that other people feel in her. 

“We’ll see,” Alex says, trying not to get her hopes up too much. 

“Aw, you’re so modest,” Nia says playfully. Even though they are lifting a giant couch and Alex can barely feel her legs or arms, Leslie manages to nudge Alex with her shoulder. 

“Jailbait, much.” Alex wonders if Leslie ever thinks about anything but sex. Alex has no time for a decent rebuttal because Winn suddenly dives right into gossip mode as they reach the second floor. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you guys. But the Ultimate Frisbee house got their charter taken away. They’re all living in dorms now,” He explains. 

“We’ve seriously gotta step it up, we’re the party house now,” Lucy says with a _woot._ Alex’s head is already hurting from the number of hangovers she’ll probably have to work through this year. 

“Winn, reach into my pocket,” Lois says. 

“You’re barking up the wrong gay-.” Lois kicks him which nearly sends them all tumbling down the stairs. “Ow! Okay, Jesus.” 

“Dial Sam’s number.” Winn dials, puts the phone on speaker and tosses it on the couch. 

“Who the fuck is Sam?” Alex questions. 

“Our roommate, dummy,” Lois says right as the phone stops ringing. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“Are you still at Walmart?” Lois asks. 

“That’s the girl I was talking about earlier,” Leslie stage whispers to Lucy and Alex. 

“What girl?” Alex mutters.

“The hot one.” Lois gives Leslie a death glare. 

“Yeah, we’re still driving. Lena’s going like two miles an hour.” Alex hears a lot of shuffling around and a radio being shut off on Sam’s end. It’s surprising, mostly, that Alex has no idea who this person is. Alex grew up with the Lane sisters and it seems odd that she’s never met someone who Lois is close enough to move in with. 

“Winn says that the Ultimate Frisbee team is done-zo, we need to stock up for jello shots. We’ll all pitch in, I promise,” Lois assures Sam. 

“Course. Text me what you want, we’ve got a massive list.” Nia has to lean over the railing in order to hang up the phone for Lois but thankfully they manage to maneuver their way up the rest of the stairs without incident. When they place - _drop -_ the couch down on the 8x10 carpet in front of the TV, Alex flops on it and briefly considers staying over here tonight. Leslie and Lucy are off in Winn’s room helping him put up his posters and Alex can sense Lois pacing around her awkwardly. 

“What?”

“Nothing.” Lois nudges Alex’s legs aside and sits on the far end of the couch. “Scary, huh?”

“Huh?”

“Sara.” Alex props a pillow behind her head and sits up so that she can actually see Lois now. “Did it make you think about…?”

“I was inside when it happened.” 

“Still.” Lois is going to push until Alex gives in and actually talks about her emotions, that much is obvious right away. “I think you’re a pretty good leader. I know I only watch from the stands but people become different players when they’re around you. Even Lucy is better.” 

“We haven’t even played one exhibition game. I don’t know if I’m back to my normal self-.”

“You are.” Lois smiles. “You just need to let yourself believe it.”

* * *

Despite the slow start, this Walmart run is going surprisingly well. Lena might be the slowest driver in all of history but when you put a shopping cart in those $75 manicure hands, she is absolute lightning. This helps because, though Sam has been in an alarming amount of Walmarts in her life, this one is overcrowded on a Thursday night. While Sam overrules Lena and tosses a giant bag of jelly beans in the cart, Jack continues to film the entire thing for his massive YouTube following. “Now that we’ve grabbed candy, we’re moving onto something much more important - desk accessories!” 

“Would you shut that thing off!” Lena yells as she continues to push the cart like a madwoman and Sam and Jack struggles to keep up. 

Jack looks into the camera, “Lena is a little cranky, but Sam is looking MidWest chic.” Sam has never seen Jack looking less than his best, not even when he’s lounging around in his shared apartment with Lena. Right now is no exception. Dark jeans and a burgundy button-down, as he said when they first enter the super-store, _I’m here to class this joint up_. Sam, at least, tried to wear something a little better than her usual lurking through Walmart garb - which basically meant a light pink floral dress. “Lena has been working in the chemistry department all summer, Sam started cheerleading practice three days ago, and this is my first day back at our lovely Midvale College.” Jack goes off on some tangent about how great their school is but Sam breaks off and finds Lena somewhere on the chip aisle. 

“Jack’s relentless,” Lena says with a laugh. 

“Isn’t he always?” 

“How was practice today? Any pyramid blunders?” Lena has always been rather critical of Sam’s decision to join the cheerleading squad. Being a late addition to the squad freshman year was a difficult transition but eventually, she’d found her place and gotten rather close to Winn and Lois. There was never a dull moment and that’s what she loved about it. 

“None, but we did see a soccer player get hurt. It was pretty intense.” Sam shakes it off. “They changed our practice times to overlap with the soccer teams. Big drama there.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot to tell you guys!” Lena says looking as animated as she has all night. Jack emerges from nowhere, finally, shutting off his camera and looping his arm over Lena’s shoulder. “So, over the summer there are usually ten or so research assistants working. And most of the time, chem and bio don’t overlap, but there was this one bio student…”

“Summer fling baby," Jack sing-songs.

“No,” Lena says with a laugh. “But she was like super hot. All broody and sporty and all. And then, one day, I saw her kicking around a soccer ball. So, she’s obviously on the team, right?”

“Probably. I’ll ask Lois, I bet she’ll know.” Sam enjoys this part of the year. All the jitters and getting ready for classes. There’s so much anticipation. Sam is lucky that she has so many wonderful people around her. Jack and Lena are vastly different from Lois, Winn, and Nia but they are still so full of energy and there for her always. “Are you like...interested in this girl?” Lena has been out of the closet for exactly two and a half months. She’d come out accidentally. An off-hand comment about thinking some celebrity was hot had caught Sam off guard. Lena explained that she was a lesbian and Jack took it in stride. It took Sam a little longer to understand why her best friend - of seven years - hadn’t said anything before. Lena had warned them to keep it strictly between them. Her mother wasn’t exactly open-minded and Lena did not have to deal with a big fall out before she had the autonomy to move out from under Lillian’s thumb. 

“Not really. I’m probably considering going to a soccer game. I bet there are lots of hot girls on the team.” While Jack urges Lena to go into more depth about this mystery soccer player, Sam attempts to ignore the flurry of texts that she’s getting. Some are probably from Lois, modifying the alcohol she wants. Maybe Winn is even texting her about ways to brighten up her room. But most of the texts are bound to be from Josh. “Enough about me, let’s move on to alcohol.” Lena pushes the cart forward and down the next aisle. “Who keeps texting you?” Lena asks Sam.

“No one.”

“Oh, Josh.” Jack and Lena say in unison.

“What happened now?” Sam can practically see Jack’s hands twitch, he wants to turn on his camera and record her response so badly. “Did he cheat on you?” 

“No, but...I don’t know. He never seems to have time for me. Except at night.” Sam rolls her eyes at that. It sounds pathetic and Lena and Jack are primed by years of experience to remind Sam that she’s too good for him. But they’d been dating for two years and he was easy, that’s half the reason they worked. “We’ll figure things out.” 

“I hope so,” Jack says as he rubs Sam’s head. “We like our little Sammy happy.” 

_Happy_ . What a fucking concept. Sam had been plenty uncertain, fairly lost, but comfortable since she’d said _fuck it_ and applied to Midvale College. Being this close to the beach and able to study in one of the best literary departments in the country was an easy pull. Getting far far away from her lovely - but overbearing - mother was a plus. After nearly falling for the easy comradery of a sorority, Sam got quickly pulled onto the squad because of her gymnastics background. Josh was the first of many to show interest and once it was clear that he was interested in actually dating, Sam had latched onto that safety net and never let go. She wouldn’t call herself happy but she was certainly trying. 

When they pile their loot into the trunk of Lena’s car - without bags because _we need to save the planet!_ \- and start driving over to Sam’s apartment, Lena and Jack help her carry her things upstairs. Things feel different as soon as they step through the door. For starters, there’s suddenly a couch. A couch that Winn, Lucy, Nia and someone Sam has never seen are lounging on. The new girl’s hair is a shocking white, which somehow works with her nonchalant expression. They’re playing UNO but based on a few large pillows sitting on the floor, they’re missing about three players. “Love the addition.” 

“You’re welcome,” New girl says with a smile. “I’m Leslie.”

“Hi. I’m Jack and this is Lena and Sam. Maybe you’ve seen my channel?” Sam and Lena exchange a look, Jack never stops promoting. 

“I don’t think so,” Leslie waves him off. “Oh, I saw you while you were practicing earlier!”

“That’s right.” Sam does recall watching some of the soccer practice, including seeing an awesome shot right at the very end.

“You’re a soccer player?” Jack says eagerly. 

“Yup, we both are.” Leslie points between her and Lucy. 

“We were wondering if you knew of anyone on your team who was doing bio research this summer. Lena says that they were really…” Lena gives Jack a death glare. “Kind of an asshole.” Sam bites back a laugh, Jack is so bad at improvising. 

“Well, the only one we know of is Alex.” Lucy frowns. “But she’s not an asshole.”

“Jack doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Ignore him,” Sam jumps in as an attempt at stopping this before it actually picks up traction. 

“Wait, hold on, Lois and Alex just stepped out to go say hi to Clark. They’ll be back in a sec.” Sam can visibly see the panic in Lena’s eyes. “I mean, I’ve only known Alex for my entire life and all, but she’s usually really nice.” 

“I’m an idiot. I obviously got it wrong,” Jack is now sweating, so Sam darts into her room, grabs her phone charger, and rushes back out to loop her arm around Lena’s waist. 

“So, we’re gonna go.” Lucy protests and Nia asks why they’re all running out of there so fast, but when they arrive safely in Lena and Jack’s apartment - and after Lena hits Jack 30 times with a pillow - they’re all thankful that they don’t have to face the music. 

“Thanks a lot, Jack.” Lena pours herself a glass of wine and sits on the modern black couch. This apartment is the complete opposite of Sam’s. Without them in the room, this place is cold and bordering on museum-clean. It also costs about two grand more. Jack goes right to his laptop and starts uploading the videos from today so he can begin editing. 

“Oh, relax. They’re not going to say anything. Plus, now, we have a name.” Jack carries his computer over and plops on the couch between Sam and Lena. “We’ll just give the roster a little gander.” As soon as Jack pulls up the team photo from last year, Sam’s eyes go to Lucy and then Leslie. “Alexandra...Danvers. I guess that must be her.” Jack scrolls down and clicks on Alexandra Danvers, number 4. 

“Oh, _that’s_ Alex.” Sam cocks her head to the side. From what she can see on the page, Alex is prolific. Leading the team in goals. “She’s really good.”

“And hot.” Jack turns to Sam. “I thought you were all buddy-buddy with Lois.” 

“I am!” Sam defends. “I guess I should’ve been paying attention when the soccer players came around.” The truth was, Sam could occasionally be shy. Lois and Winn had their own little friend groups and Sam often felt a out of place. She had met Alex once or twice, she’s certain of it, but Alex had never seemed all that interested in really talking to her. Or, more likely, Josh was all over her and they hadn’t gotten a chance to talk. Sam decides right then that she’ll make more of an effort. If Lois and Lucy are good friends with Alex, then she must be a good person. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Please don’t. It’s not a big deal. Not until Jack opened his giant mouth at least.” Lena downs the rest of her wine. “I only told you guys because I was trying to not feel so embarrassed about myself. And if I want to look at a cute jock-nerd-person, then I will.” 

“Amen.” Jack kisses Lena’s forehead. “I’m really sorry.” 

Sam is relieved that this misstep doesn’t blow up into anything serious. Jack and Lena are lovely people but strikingly stubborn. Sam often finds herself in the middle of things and that paired with the problems going on with Josh might sour the start of the year. By the time Sam gets up and grabs a glass of wine for herself, Jack has moved on to showing the soccer team highlight reel from last year. The music is amazing and the video is nothing short of epic. “Wow, they’re _really_ good,” Sam remarks as she notes the fact that the team only lost one game all season. 

“It says in this article that they lost in the NCAA tournament. Oh, no...that was right after Alex got hurt.” Jack somehow manages to spew out so many stats in the span of thirty minutes that Sam’s head is starting to hurt. But that’s just Jack, he’s the most curious person Sam knows. “Isn’t it funny that the girls' soccer team-”

“ _Women’s_ soccer team,” Lena corrects. “They’re adults.” 

“Fine, _women’s_ soccer team. Isn't it weird how they are so much better than, for example, the football team and they don’t even get cheerleaders?”

“Oh, cause we’re such a gift,” Sam jokes. 

“I’m serious! Cheerleading is important too, it gets teams and the fans excited.” Jack taps his thumb against his cheek, thoughtfully. Lena and Sam exchange a knowing look. There’s no stopping him now. “Well...who’s to say you _can’t_ cheer for them?”

“We’ll leave you to your schemes. I don’t really care who we cheer for.” Sam motions to the hallway. “Lena, is your room finally ready? I want to see it.”

“Yep!” Lena and Sam leave Jack to whatever he’s now researching on his computer and head to Lena’s room. Sam is more than surprised when she walks in the door. Compared to the rest of the apartment Lena’s room has much more color. Soft blues and purples accent the bed and some of the shelves. Lena’s desk looks like some kind of antique but the books, notepads, journals, and pen holders that sit on top make it look relatively normal. “So, all I need is to organize my clothes and maybe get another shelf for books.”

“It looks great.” Lena looks rather pleased with herself. 

“So...now that we’re away from Jack and his restless brain. What’s really going on with Josh?” They both take a seat on the bed. Sam wraps her arms around her legs and forces herself to feel. “Did he hurt you?”

“What? No, of course not.” It was only a few days ago that Sam returned to campus. She’d gone straight to Josh's room in hopes that he would look at her with that joy that Sam had seen so many times in movies. She’d thought he’d want to sit with her, talk about their summers, talk about the flight even. But he’d been preoccupied, playing video games and not even offering her someplace to sit. She’d never felt out of place with Josh but she was starting to feel that way now. “I just want...I want my relationship to be the last thing I have to worry about this year.” 

“Look, I’m here for you. But you know I won’t defend him.” 

“I know.”

“This year, let’s promise ourselves something.” It isn’t like Lena to think so broadly and - dare she say it - hopefully toward the future. “No more being miserable. We’re having fun, we’re trying new things, we’re going to piss off our parents by doing things that we’re not supposed to.” Lena laughs. “Deal?”

Lena holds out her pinky finger and Sam takes it. “Deal.” 

* * *

Alex is sitting in her room laying down and icing her hip after a very successful exhibition game win. Though the score was 4-0, with Alex scoring 2 and Lucy and Kelly scoring 1 apiece, what was more important was how well they flowed together. The communication was amazing. Practice isn’t a good enough substitute for a real game, so this only proved to Alex how ready she was for the season. This is why, when Lucy walks into the room with a giant grin on her face, Alex thinks that - maybe - she’s only thrilled about their win. “Hey.”

Lucy doesn’t respond, instead, she tosses a light blue armband on Alex’s stomach. “Hey, yourself, Captain.” Alex flat out laughs. It seems like a joke, something far too good to be true. If Lucy was serious, then wouldn’t Cat have said something earlier that day? “Goalies conferred, then defenders, then midfielders, and at that point...it was starting to look unanimous.”

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“Dude, you earned it. Take a nap or something, we’re celebrating tonight.” Alex is beyond happy. She’d hoped that she could reach this point her senior year, she’d never expected it to happen so early. The first thing Alex does is put the armband in her _Blue Devils_ duffel bag. The second thing she does is grab her helmet and head downstairs. 

“Hey, Captain!” Leslie yells from the kitchen. Alex gives her a wave before heading outside and onto her bike. The drive across campus is short but it helps Alex really live in the moment. Kara is, apparently, not in her dorm room. According to James who is hovering around the rec room putting up posters for the school newspaper, Kara is hanging out with Clark and Lois at Lois’s apartment. 

“Hey, weirdos,” Alex says when she walks into Lois’s apartment and Kara, Winn, Lois, Clark, and Nia are all wearing _In-and-Out_ paper hats and watching some game show on TV. “I was just gonna tell you, Kara, but since you’re all here…” Alex steps further into the room and finds a spot between Clark and Kara on the couch. “I’m gonna be the Captain this year.” The scream that comes out of Kara’s mouth is otherworldly. Alex gets hugs and cheers all around, mainly from Lois who is all _I told you so_. 

“So, are we celebrating?” Clark asks. Alex can already tell that he’s thinking of getting her a gift. He was just as thoughtful and kind as Kara was, but slightly more reserved. 

“Uh, yeah. The team is doing something. Probably going to Al’s.” Kara has already started subtly looking at herself in the mirror. Presumably, she’s trying to figure out if she’s dive bar ready or if she’ll need to change into jeans that don’t currently have stains on them. “You guys are invited.”

“I’m only eighteen,” Nia says a frown forming on her face. 

They all laugh. “Don’t worry. This bar is college town grime personified. We’ll get you in.” Alex assures her. With all her exhaustion gone and replaced by hopeful joy, Alex joins her friends on a lazy Saturday afternoon. 

Clark brings up their schedules so they can compare and make sure they can each go to each other’s first home games. Kara texts James and invites him and soon, everyone has turned a soccer team get-together into something much larger. “Alex, you can finally meet Sam!” Kara says excitedly. 

“Who?”

“Our other roommate,” Lois reminds her. “You’ve met her before. But you were probably drunk or something. You’ll love her.” 

“Sure,” Alex isn’t so sure. “I need to shower and change. I’ll text you guys when the team is dragging me there.” 

Alex doesn’t take a lot of time to get ready. She is religiously devoted to jeans, joggers, t-shirts, flip-flops, and tennis shoes. Occasionally a backward cap finds its way into the mix and because Alex has just finished unpacking her clothes from a road trip she and Kara took over the summer, Alex is able to rummage through a few things. She pulls on a blue and white baseball cap and is able to find shoes that actually cover her toes just as Leslie, Lucy, Siobhan, and Vasquez come into the room. 

Lucy is overdressed as always, but Siobhan, Leslie, and Vasquez are in their usual state of jock-chic clothing. “Ready to get fucked up, Cap?” Vasquez nudges Leslie but that doesn’t mean that Leslie isn’t right. They tend to be fairly notorious partiers and if there’s a special occasion? Even more so. 

Alex is pressured into two shots before they even take one step out of the house. Before Alex can get too wrapped up in Leslie, Lucy, and Siobhan’s antics, Alex takes a reprieve and walks side by side with a much more stable Vasquez. “You are built for this, you know?”

“Getting wasted?” Alex jokes. 

“Leading us,” Vasquez replies seriously. “I want to win. I know you do too.” Vasquez pats Alex’s back with a smile. “I think that you and I play for more than just a score sheet.” Alex doesn’t have time to reply. They’re both being pulled toward a small line to get inside. Lois is just ahead of them. Nia is beside her looking particularly concerned. 

“Hey, Nia!” Alex yells motioning her over. “They know us here. If you stand with this group, you’ll be alright.” Maybe everyone is right. Alex is good at being a leader and taking care of people when they need it. When they get to the front of the line the security guard who is checking IDs barely even glances their way as he waves them in. 

As soon as Alex finds a spot at their usual series of tables in the bar, Clark and Lois approach with a bottle of _Captain Morgan_ with giant smiles on their faces. “From two Captains to the next. We’re proud of you.” Lois sets the bottle down in front of Alex and adds, “I expect you to finish this thing by the end of the night.” Challenge accepted, Alex thinks.

Downing not one but three shots in quick succession doesn’t feel like the worst idea. Alex is having fun, surrounded by people who love her. Her night is going exactly as planned and then, this girl, the one who Leslie had been fawning over a few days ago and the same one that Lois was desperate for her to meet, sits down in the chair beside Alex. 

Sam. This must be Sam.

Sam takes a deep breath. She’s wearing a white spaghetti strap tank tucked into frayed jean shorts and still she looks like she’s been basting out in the sun, judging by the slight shine of sweat that Alex notes on the back of her neck. Whatever makeup she’s wearing, there must be some kind of glitter involved because there is no way someone actually sparkles as much as this. And then, Sam, who by now had seemed like some kind of enigma, turns to Alex and her eyes widen just slightly before a smile forms on her face. “You must be Alex.” 

“And you’re Sam, I’m assuming.” 

“That’s me.” She leans closer to Alex, trying to block out some of the noise around them. “Congrats on your promotion.”

“It comes with a giant bottle. Wanna share?” Alex grabs a clean shot glass from the stack and pours two shots for them. She grabs one and Sam takes the other. They _clank_ glasses and down them in one go. 

“I hear you’re some kind of superstar.”

“I don’t know about that.” Alex has always tried her best to take her success in stride. “I mean, for example, I can’t do a backhand spring.”

“What?” Sam is blushing now which comes as a surprise. “That’s just...part of what we do.”

“Well, it’s impressive as hell.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I said it didn’t I?” Alex is just about to get into her groove. Sam is beautiful and she has a lovely smile. Hell, she smells nice too. But some tall all-American dude wraps his arm around Sam. “Hi.”

“Nice turnout. You must be popular.” He says. He doesn’t sound particularly excited or interested in speaking to Alex at all. “I’m Josh, Sam’s boyfriend.” Right, of course he is. 

“Cool.” Alex scans the room looking for someone to help her get out of this situation. Luckily Lucy is headed over with Kara and two other people Alex doesn’t recognize.

“Danvers, listen to this guy,” Lucy motions to a guy who is literally wearing a wine-colored velvet blazer, a black turtleneck, and black chinos. He looks like he just stepped out of a magazine. 

“Hi, I’m Jack, you might have seen my YouTube channel.” Sam looks like she’s trying not to laugh, Lucy is urging him to talk faster, and Kara is eagerly listening to every word he’s saying. “Anyway, a few days ago my friend…” He points to the girl standing beside him. She is equally overdressed but also very familiar. “Mentioned the soccer team and I may have checked all of the team's stats over the past four years including the fan engagement-.”

“I’m two shots away from not knowing English, please get to the point,” Alex deadpans.

“The _point_ is that the soccer team has the most invested fan base on campus. Instagram, community events, and even Facebook groups to carpooling, you guys are hot shit.” The way he’s smiling makes Alex feel like she’s missing something.

“Yeah? Tell us something we don’t know,” Leslie says as she places a pitcher of beer down on the table.

“Well, I think...and tell me if I’m crazy, but I think that you guys should have the cheerleaders cheer at your games.” Josh starts laughing but Lucy and Leslie seem to be on the same page as they nod their heads in agreement.

“You’re right. I mean, you guys are amazing! Why shouldn’t your fan support get an extra boost?” Kara’s wheels are turning in her head. She can be a freight train when she puts her mind to something and Alex is worried about what that might look like. 

“Because they’re _our_ cheerleaders,” Josh says decisively.

“I didn’t realize we were property,” Sam pushes Josh’s arm off her shoulder. 

“Think about it. How much better would we be if we had a bunch of hot girls on the sideline,” Leslie is slurring her words but she seems focused enough to continue. “Let’s talk to coach-.”

“Everyone calm down. We’ve got more important shit to worry about, like winning. If the football team wants to keep losing in front of the squad then they can do just that.” Alex pours herself another shot. “Plus, when have you known anyone to roll over to the demands of a bunch of women? No matter how determined they might be.”

“I think it’s a cool idea," Jack's shadow jumps in. 

“Are you on the squad too?” Alex asks.

“No, but I worked in the chemistry department all summer. I’m Lena.” She reaches out her hand for Alex to shake which she does with a smirk.

“You’re the one who thinks I’m an asshole?” Kara actually gasps at this but Lena looks like a deer in headlights. “I’ve been called worse.”

“It was a misunderstanding,” Lena assures Alex. “If I actually thought that, I’d tell you to your face.”

“Good. In honor of honesty, let’s ask someone who would actually be affected by this big debate.” Alex turns to Sam and catches her eye. “What do you think? How would you feel about cheering for the best team on campus?”

The table gets eerily quiet. Sam isn’t used to being the center of attention which might tell Alex all she needs to know about her relationship with this Josh asshole. “I’m not really sure.”

Somehow the entire night turns into a focus group. The soccer team - mainly Leslie and Lucy - are absolutely thrilled by the idea of having cheerleaders and they are committed to getting everyone behind them. Kara and Jack seem to have formed some kind of nerd-bond and they are practically joined at the hip as they drink away in the corner of the room and discuss the politics of a cheerleading squad cheering for the women’s soccer team. It’s unprecedented, which is exactly why Alex chooses to stay out of it. She’s got a bottle to finish and not much else to worry about for at least two days. But, because life can be cruel, Alex is stuck waiting for the bathroom when Sam joins her at the back of the bar.

It was just a quick attraction. Nothing more. Sam is hot but that’s it. She’s dating a football player and other than Clark, Alex isn’t particularly impressed by any of them. Sam says things like “jeez” and “ope” when she almost ran into Alex on her way over here. If their paths hadn’t crossed in the two years of going here, then there’s probably a reason for that. “So, you really don’t care? I mean, we both know it’ll never happen but everyone else is over there picking sides.”

“I just care about putting the ball in the back of the net.”

“I get it. After your injury-...” Sam’s fingers twitch like she’s about to reach out and touch Alex’s leg. “It must’ve hurt. A break that bad.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’ve touched a sore spot. I don’t even know you and I...sorry.” Why isn’t the line moving faster? The last place Alex wants to be is standing here with someone she hardly knows reliving the worst moment of her life. “For the record, I’d love to cheer for your team. I watched a lot of your practice and it seems like...well, I dunno. Like you guys get each other.”

“Why didn’t you say that back there?”

“Josh gets a little...annoyed sometimes. It’s no big deal.” But it seems like a big deal, especially with the way that Sam’s eyes dart to Alex. She looks sorry that she said any of that out loud. Before Alex can ask - a question that she probably shouldn’t be asking someone she just met - Lucy comes stumbling over holding her phone up to Alex’s face.

Drunk Lucy lacks any form of coordination so soon the phone is slamming into Alex’s face. “Ow! Fuck.” Alex rubs her head while Sam laughs at her.

“You’re supposed to catch it, dummy,” Lucy slumps against Alex’s side and scrolls to an email that Alex is also CC’ed on. 

**_Alex & Lucy,_ **

**_Meeting in my office at 8 AM. Want to discuss season goals as well as academics. Don’t be late._ **

**_Coach Grant_ **

Alex groans. Tomorrow is going to be hell for both of them. Lucy takes her phone back and shoves it into her pocket. She briefly looks between Sam and Alex and says, rather loudly, “Sam’s straight, you have no chance.”

“I wasn’t trying anything!” Alex tells Lucy with a light shove. “Would you go bother your sister or something?” Lucy mouths _f_ _ine_ and goes to do exactly that.

One person enters the other as another person exits. Seven more to go. “Sorry about her.”

“I’m used to it.” Sam leans against the wall and drums her fingers a little bit. “What would the cheers be like anyway?”

“Hm?”

“For a soccer game.”

“Oh.” Alex laughs. “How about ‘kick the ball over there’ or…'great job tackling that chick now get up and run your ass off’”

“Those have a nice ring to them.”

“How about ‘don’t break your femur in half’?” Sam laughs so hard that Alex starts to forget that she’s waiting for the bathroom to open up and seven more people doesn’t actually seem like the worst thing in the world. 

Ten minutes later, Alex and Vasquez are carrying Siobhan out of the bar. There’s no time for goodbyes, just a collective yell of “aye aye Captain!” as Alex drags Siobhan into an Uber because she can’t walk.

Vasquez and Alex applaud Siobhan as she manages not to barf in the car and instead ends of barfing on the tennis team's lawn. It takes a lot of stumbling to get her upstairs and in bed but when they do, Alex and Vasquez crash on the couch and attempt to get some much-needed rest before they’re met with a very busy Sunday.

* * *

Alex wakes up to 35 text messages. She assumes they’re a from Kara or Lois, chronic over-texters, but they are from a vast range of people. From teammates to freshman year classmates, Alex is utterly confused. She scrolls and scrolls until she finds a text from James, who Alex trusts to be the calmest about whatever is going on. 

**[From James]:** check out Kara’s article online! Did you know about this? Sounds like it could be amazing 

Oh god. An article? When on Earth did Kara write an article? Alex goes to the Midvale College homepage and clicks on “The Gaze”, their school paper. The first thing that pops up is an article titled “Cheering for the Wrong Team: Why Midvale’s Cheerleading Squad Should Be Moving on to The Pitch”. Under the article is a picture of the soccer team from Alex’s freshman year where they won the NCAA championship. 

Under that it reads: **submitted at 2:56 am.**

Of course, the article is written so eloquently that Alex can’t even argue that Kara was being irresponsible. But an article that undermines the fragile masculinity of an entire football team and urges students, faculty, and the community to get behind the women’s soccer team? This will end badly. 

Lucy runs downstairs pulling Alex from her haze. “No time to freak out about that, Danvers. You’ve got five minutes.” Alex rolls off the couch and hurries upstairs to wash her face, get dressed, and eat a granola bar so she’ll have enough food in her stomach to take _Advil_.

When Alex comes back downstairs Lucy is standing at the door impatiently tapping her foot. “By the way, I fully support Kara’s choice, so you’d better not yell at her.”

“I’m staying out of it,” Alex assures Lucy.

“Right.” They arrive at the Athletic Complex with four minutes to spare. “Let’s see how long that lasts.”

It lasts for exactly five minutes because the first thing Cat says to them when they sit down is, “I assume news travels fast?” Alex hates this office. She rarely needs to come in here but after her injury last year she practically lived in these four walls. It’s a corner office, nice, pristine, far too big for the amount of time that Cat spends here. Alex remembers sitting in the very same chair she is currently in, making notes on lineups, trying to create, in her mind, a scenario that would help the team get far in the NCAA tournament. 

They’d lost in the second round, 0-2. 

Cat turns her computer around so that it’s facing Alex and Lucy. There are at least 100 unopened emails staring back at them. “Now, I don’t want to point fingers, but considering it’s _your_ sister who wrote the article, and _you_ ,” Cat glares at Lucy, “who is quoted, not once but twice. I’d have to say that you two have something to do with this mess.” Cat does not sit down. She stands there, towering over them in a way that she could only do right now. “If you two want pretty girls to dance around you, then you go to a strip club-.”

“But Coach-.” 

“As it stands, the administration is strongly considering this. But as you know, they’ll pick and prod at every little thing, so that means as the leader of the team and the most vocal person on this matter, the two of you need to be in top form. No police at parties, no fighting, and perfect grades.” Cat takes a deep breath. “If you thought I wanted to be here warning you two to stay out of trouble, then you thought wrong. I wanted to say: congrats, Danvers, you’ve earned it. Now, you got a lot more on your plate, eat up.” 

“What do you define as good grades?” Lucy looks at Alex like she’s grown three heads. Cat seems perturbed by the question as well. 

“Nothing for you to worry about, B’s and up.” Normally, Alex wouldn’t be worried. She’s a great student. But she’d saved all of her electives for this year, which meant an English Lit course, which was way outside of Alex’s comfort zone. “If you’re concerned then find a buddy in class or, better yet, a tutor.” Coach motions for them to stand. “Gear up ladies and don’t let the pressure kick you in the ass on your way out.” 

The moment they step out of the office, Alex turns to Lucy, “Thanks a lot, Luce.” 

“You’re welcome,” Lucy looks absolutely content with herself. Alex readies herself for the most annoying and trying year of her life. 

Welcome to junior year.


	2. Don't Disappoint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder in case you missed it in the tags: TW for recreational drug use. I'll try and do my best with trigger warnings but if you catch something, then let me know so I can make note of it!

After they’d gotten rid of their old cheerleading coach for being a creep, the squad had learned to balance out actual choreography practice with gossip sessions. Lois, like always, was their saving grace. She was a very capable leader and if that meant a detailed - and possibly a little unnecessary - minute by minute schedule of their two-hour practice then so be it. Sam decides that pairing up with Nia to fill up the water bottles only seems natural. The training room is usually quiet at this time with the occasional jock coming in to talk to one of the trainers. Of course, the change in cheerleading practice meant that the women’s soccer team would be in and out of the room, but the last person Sam expects to see was Alex. 

They had a bit of a rocky start, Josh’s influence being a big part of that, but in the two minutes that they were actually able to talk, were kind of nice. Even if Alex had to rush off and help her wasted friend soon after. 

Sam considers herself to be somewhat intuitive. She doesn’t kid herself by pretending that Josh is brilliant or amazingly interesting, she knows she’s not that riveting herself. But as Sam slowly fills up their water bottles with ice while Nia is seemingly trying to get the courage to start a conversation with Alex, she realizes what is actually drawing her to this brand new person in her life. 

There Alex is, chewing gum and listening to her friend - _Vasquez_ if Sam remembers correctly - talk about the ridiculous prices of her books. It dawns on her so suddenly, that she actually pauses what she’s doing and glances over at Alex. Yes, that’s it. Sam is being ignored. They’d spoken two days ago, had a decent laugh together, and now Alex couldn’t even spare her a smile or a wave. Sam is not used to being ignored. 

Not ever. 

So, Sam steels her face. She’s going to say something to her, to tell her that they’d better start getting along or this was going to make all of their interactions awkward. “Did you guys see Kara’s article?” Nia beats Sam to the punch but Vasquez and Alex stop talking and turn to look at them like they didn’t even know Sam and Nia were standing nearby. 

“Wicked prose, huh?” Vasquez says with a smile. 

“Totally,” Nia is practically made up of warm cheeks and fidgety hands at this point. Vasquez and Alex don’t seem to notice. “I like soccer better anyway.” 

“Me too,” Sam lies. That catches Alex’s attention. “What? You girls are good.”

“Won’t your boyfriend be super pissed about that?” Alex questions and Sam replies only by shrugging. “Apparently, it’s getting traction. Hope you guys are ready to cheer for the winning team.” 

“Alex, stop flirting, we’re doing a trick shot challenge before practice,” Lucy tells Vasquez and Alex.

It takes until after Alex leaves for Sam to come to another, but perhaps a more important conclusion: Sam wants to be Alex’s friend. Alex wears flip-flops with socks, she drank an entire bottle of  _ Captain Morgan _ , and she absolutely has untamed confidence about her that somehow - despite being annoying - Sam is drawn to. Unlike Josh and half the football team, Alex’s confidence is earned. “Okay, is it me or is the soccer team like excessively hot?” Nia puts a cap on the last water bottle. “How are we supposed to practice when they’re out there playing shirts versus skins?” Sam wants to say that Nia is just being ridiculous but about thirty minutes into practice, half of the soccer team is putting on blue pennies while the other half start to take off their shirts. Including Alex. 

“Nia, are you gonna be okay?” Lois jokes as she follows Nia’s eyes onto the field. 

“When’s their first home game?” Nia asks, pulling out her phone and preparing to put a notification in her calendar. 

“In two weeks but for now...our focus is on football. This Friday is their first home game and there’s going to be a pretty big crowd.” Lois claps her hands together to get everyone to focus on her. “The Spirit Squad is performing at halftime which means we don’t have to worry about that but it’s going to be a really warm day so be sure to hydrate a ton on Thursday.” 

“I’m assuming there’s a party after the game?” Winn asks. 

“Of course. So, no phones during the game because they’ll be charging in the locker room.” Lois goes down a lengthy list of the do's and don'ts of the first home game. An antiquated tradition or not, Sam and Lois are in charge of baking a special treat for the football team that they’ll enjoy at their team dinner. They’ll also wear their newest squad uniforms and white  _ Nike  _ sneakers that they got as a part of the school sponsorship. Nia takes diligent notes, being a newbie and all, but everyone else is used to the speech. Be bubbly, look cute, and cheer on the mighty-mighty Blue Devils. 

Sam is in the middle of running through different recipes when she hears the commotion from the soccer field. She spots Alex sprinting so fast up the field with the ball at her feet, that Sam swears she can feel the breeze hit her as she zooms past. Alex kicks the ball through an opposing player's legs, spins with the ball, and shoots it into the left corner of the net. Lucy runs over and high fives Alex. Sam must look like she’s in shock or something because Winn pokes her side. 

“Impressive, huh?” He whispers.

“How the hell did she do that? She was so fast and that thing, where she kicked the ball between the other player's leg-.”

“A nutmeg?” Lois supplies and Sam suddenly realizes that the entire squad is listening now. 

“Like the spice?” Nia laughs so loud that she chokes on some water that she’d been drinking. “What?” Sam questions. 

“It’s a soccer move. It’s called a ‘nutmeg’.” Lois waves it off like it’s old hat. “Alex does that shit all the time. We should probably go to a game or something.” Somehow Lois saying that this is the norm for Alex causes Sam to completely lose her focus on practice. She’s forgetting choreography and basic cheers because her eyes keep finding Alex on the field. She isn’t just skilled, Alex seems to be a master with the ball. Completely concentrated and precise with a flare that seems to rile up her teammates and make the scrimmage fluid and fun. 

No one comments on Sam’s airheadedness. Nia does offer to take her to the cafeteria to get food which Sam is completely prepared to decline in favor of a decent nap when she overhears Lucy telling Alex to meet her there too. So, Sam accepts, ruled only by her curious nature and inability to say no to free food. 

When they arrive, Sam gets a BLT and a salad and joins Nia and Winn. Nia is going through a list of everything she needs for classes which is adorable and Winn seems completely consumed by something he’s watching on his phone. “Your one friend is pretty funny.”

“Which one?” Sam asks but Winn answers quickly by showing her his phone which is playing a video of Jack doing some stunt near the quad. “I’ll tell him you said so.” 

“Please don’t,” Winn begs and returns his gaze to his phone screen. Meanwhile, Sam catches a glimpse of most of the soccer team crowding around a big round table. “Kara told me that QSU is having a meeting about supporting Cheerleading-gate 2k19.” 

“ _ Cheerleading-gate _ , seriously?” Sam rolls her eyes. “What’s QSU?”

“Queer Student Union,” Nia supplies. Sam doesn’t even asks how Nia knew that already, Nia seems to be the kind of person who stays well informed of everything. “I think they’re planning some kind of Instagram take over.” Winn looks up from his phone and nudges Nia under the table. Clearly, Sam wasn’t supposed to see that but she does and now she feels like an outsider amongst her own friends. Nia clears her throat, “ _ Everyone’s _ welcome to come to the meeting.” Sam hears the emphasis loud and clear and she’s just about to decline - again - for fear of taking up space where she doesn’t belong when Kara Danvers slings her messenger bag over the back of a seat at their table and plops down. 

“I’ve been locked out of  _ The Gaze  _ website. I can’t upload any more articles without Snapper’s approval.” Sam is attempting to digest as much information as she can but there are so many new names that she’s hearing that she decides that maybe stepping back is the right choice. 

“What a dick. Why don’t you use James’s login? He won’t care,” Winn suggests. 

“I’m not gonna get him in trouble. Plus, Alex will freak.” Kara’s shoulders slump but before Nia can jump in with some encouraging advice, Alex walks toward them with her duffel bag slung over her shoulder and a look of sheer determination on her face. “Oh, shit," Kara mutters. 

“Are you avoiding me?” Alex asks Kara. 

“Of course not!” The way Kara toys with her glasses lets Alex and everyone else at the table know that’s a lie. 

“Fine. Well...the team’s behind you.  _ I’m  _ behind you.” Alex rubs Kara’s shoulder playfully. Sam can’t help but smile at that. “But take a step back, okay?”

“Does that mean you’ll come to the QSU meeting?” Kara asks hopefully. 

“Are you kidding? What part of step back don’t you get?” Something’s changed. Alex’s voice has gotten slightly more forceful and her eyes are sharply glaring at Kara. 

“We want to help,” Nia jumps in. 

“Yeah, well you guys weren’t at our fucking high school.” Alex takes a deep breath, she’s about to leave. 

Storm off even. 

“What happened at your high school?” Sam doesn’t mean to say it out loud but she does. And now Alex is looking at her with softer eyes. 

“We tried to start a GSA. Some other kids didn’t like that, so they wrote a bunch of horrible shit on our lockers.” Alex says it so casually that the pang of that attack almost doesn’t affect her voice. But Sam can hear that anger almost bubbling up. Sam reaches out and touches her hand, it’s meant to be soothing, but after only half a second of contact they both pull back. Sam nearly says _sorry_ but she doesn’t want to dwell on it or make it into a big deal. “Which is why I mean it when I say to be careful.” Alex rests her elbows on the table. “But I’ll be there if you insist.” 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Kara says as she practically smothers Alex in a bear hug. 

“Yeah, whatever.” Alex mumbles. 

“How was practice?” Kara asks everyone at the table. 

“For us, it was great. But we did get a little distracted by your moves,” Nia admits. 

“Yeah...you did a ‘nutmeg’.” The word still doesn’t sound natural coming out of her mouth but Sam wants to redeem herself. She wants to prove that she does belong here with them. “It was awesome.”

“Don’t boost her giant ego. She’s annoying enough as it is.” Kara and Alex engage in a brief shoving match before Winn has to reach across the table to break it up. “I’ll catch you guys in like an hour. I gotta go set up the room.” 

“I’ll help you,” Alex offers. They both grab their bags and head out of the dining hall. 

“We’re gonna grab some coffee before the meeting if you want to…” It’s an olive branch, so Sam takes it. Lena was right, they needed to take more chances and try new things this year. And, frankly, if Sam’s mom knew that she was going to a Queer Student Union meeting, she’d scream. Even if Sam had forced her way into caring about this whole soccer team situation, well, now she cared. Sam texted Jack and Lena to tell them to be at the meeting. 

In the dainty little coffee shop that was perched in the basement of the oldest building on campus, Sam feels like she’s been inducted into an underground society.  Sam realizes, with the help of a very detailed conversation with Winn about on-campus sexual relationships, that most of her friends are actually part of the LGBTQ+ community. Sam wonders if they see her as an outsider. Their “straight friend” which she supposes she is after all. “I’m seriously not hooking up in the first semester. I gotta know all my options before I dive in.” 

“Oh, sweetie, you’re so precious.” Winn had been the one to explain Nia’s situation to Lois and Sam over the summer.  _ There was a freshman who was having trouble with housing but they’d be a cheerleader so could they please-pretty-please let her live with them?  _ Sam and Lois okayed it without any hesitation and as soon as they all moved in, it felt like a match. “I tried to do the whole modesty thing but meh, I say enjoy yourself. As long as you’re safe.” 

“What about you, Sam? You started dating Josh pretty early.” 

“Yeah. But we’ve got an on-again-off-again streak.” Sam takes a sip of her coffee. “We’ll see how this year goes.” 

Nia glances at the clock and picks up her coffee. “We should head over there.” Sam and Winn follow her out the doors, across the street, and into the Campus Organization’s building. As soon as they walk into the QSU room, it’s buzzing with energy. Kara is wheeling out a whiteboard, Jack is trying to take a cute selfie with Lucy in front of the Bi-flag, and most of the soccer team is dispersed amongst the crowd. Sam spots Lena sitting next to Alex, no less, and she walks over to cling to some familiarity before the meeting starts. 

“Great turnout,” Sam says as she sits beside Lena. Sam notices that Alex has changed out of her post-practice gear and is instead wearing dark jeans, a polo shirt, and black loafers. It’s the most dressed up Sam has seen her and it suits her just as much as her messy jock clothes do. “You clean up nice.” Alex gives her a smile that says  _ I know _ . 

The introductions are nice and charming. They each say their name, pronouns, year, major, and their favorite horror movie. Sam learns that Vasquez’s pronouns are they/them - which makes her internally cringe about calling them and Alex “girls” earlier - Alex’s favorite horror movie is  _ The Descent _ and that Clark Kent thinks  _ The Breakfast Club _ is a horror film because “it’s about the horrors of life.” After the introductions, Kara stands in the front of the room and motions for Clark, Lois, and Alex to stand up there with her. 

“So, as you all may know, the administration, athletic department, and entire Midvale community are discussing a possible shift in the role of our lovely cheerleaders.” Winn lets out a whoop and Kara smiles back at him. “I thought it’d be a good idea to get involved, make our voices heard, and hopefully change how we all see this issue. I have three very important folks up here and we’ll listen to how they feel about what’s going on. Lois?”

“Thanks, Kara,” Lois could probably be president if she wanted to. Sam has never once seen her nervous in front of a crowd and she always knows the right thing to say. “So, I’m the captain of the cheerleading squad. When I first read Kara’s article, I was like...hell yeah.” Lois laughs. “And then I thought more about it and realized that this is a lot more meaningful for this campus as a whole. All of our teams work extremely hard to be good at what we do. So, what’s the difference if we’re cheering on the football team or the soccer team? The reason the administration is shitting a brick is that they think that we’re only there to look cute for men. So, fuck that, and I hope that whatever the conclusion is, we actually get a say in it.” 

The room cheers and Lena leans over and whispers in Sam’s ear, “Speech and debate much.” 

Clark high fives Lois like the total dork that he is and steps up next. His hair is doing this weird comb-over thing that Sam will absolutely make fun of him for later but his smile is contagious and he livens the room as always. “I’m Clark, the Captain of the football team,” Leslie boo’s from the corner but Clark seems to know her well enough to ignore her. “I know that this isn’t the most popular opinion, but I’d love for the cheerleaders to keep cheering at our games.” Leslie boo’s a little louder before Lucy elbows her in the ribs to shut her up. “But I also recognize what change means and how valuable it can be. I’m really open to discussion and transparency about the situation. And I know that Lois and Alex are too.” There are fewer cheers this time and more nods of approval. 

Finally, Alex steps up. Sam wonders if her confidence on the field would transfer over to this room and, of course, it does. “I’m Alex, Captain of the soccer team,” The team cheers loudly and Alex tries to keep her composure instead of grinning, but a little smile pokes through. “I want to start by saying that I really appreciate the support from everyone and I agree with what Clark and Lois have said. I will add that I wasn’t completely in love with the idea. I think we should be focusing on our games and setting the tone for the year.” The room grows quiet. “And then Coach Grant pulled us into her office and explained what kind of push back we were getting on this and it’s all bullshit. And I don’t like being told what to do.” It’s the perfect way to go right into planning. 

Jack appoints himself the leader of the Instagram take-over, which is basically everyone queueing up posts supporting the women’s soccer team for the next two weeks. Kara, Winn, Nia, and Clark are in charge of getting a petition going. When Leslie and Siobhan start to complain about not having anything to do, Alex turns to them and says, “We just have to win. Focus on that.” Sam finds herself making posters in the corner of the room and when someone takes a seat next to her, she assumes that it’s Nia or Lois. 

But it’s Alex. 

She doesn’t say anything when she sits down but she’s quick to pull out her phone like she’s pretending not to be looking at Sam’s poster. “Busy?” Sam asks. 

“Nope.”

“Will you hand me that box of markers?” Alex hands her the markers with a quiet  _ yes, ma’am _ escaping her lips. Then, she gets right back to her phone. “Fully focused on Tinder, huh?” Alex cracks a smile and shows Sam her phone which is open to an Instagram account fully dedicated to dogs and cats dressed in costumes. 

“Jack showed me.” She looks absolutely delighted and Sam can feel her heart warm up just at the smile on Alex’s face. “This is all the therapy I need.”

“Did you need therapy? After the injury?” Alex stares at her. “Physical therapy, I mean-.”

“Yes.” Alex looks back to her phone. “Not just for that, I guess.” Sam leaves it alone and is thankful that even though Alex has resigned herself to not talk to Sam anymore, at least she shows her a picture of a cat dressed as a carrot. 

* * *

Lois is always up for a makeshift hangout and tonight - the last night of freedom before classes and the cheerleading season start - is just one of those nights. It starts off small. Nia convincing Lois that she can make the best margarita ever and then Winn emerges from his room wearing his boxers and a robe and that’s when Sam feels compelled to join. Soon enough Clark shows up with a very drunk Josh and they start a game of UNO that lasts for ages. 

Everyone but Nia has a competitive streak which is probably why they should’ve stopped as soon as Josh started making annoying comments under his breath. But they press on which doesn’t end well, as Sam should’ve guessed. “If I win, then you guys can’t cheer for the soccer team.” 

“Dude, relax.” But no amount of pestering or calming down will stop Josh from continuing on. 

“What? I’m supposed to just sit back and take it?” 

“Take it like a man, Joshua,” Winn says as he slams a “Draw Two” card down aimed right at Josh. “I happen to like the soccer team. As far as I know, none of them are suspended for sexual assault. I even like the loud one...what’s her name?”

“Leslie,” Lois supplies. “And Winn does have a point.”

“I mean, why are you guys mad about this bullshit, do you really wanna cheer for a bunch of lezzies-.” Clark grabs the collar of Josh’s shirt before he can finish his sentence. 

“Josh, go sleep it off,” Sam tells him and it’s as much of a warning as he’ll get. Josh tosses his cards on the table and heads into Sam’s room. The game dissolves after that. Nia doesn’t much feel like making any more margaritas and Winn claims that he has an early start. That leaves Lois, Clark, and Sam to clean up the mess. 

“God, Clark, why did you bring over that stupid cunt? No offense, Sam.” Lois has a point and Sam is tired of defending Josh. And even though Clark offers to sleep on the couch so that Sam and Lois can share a bed, Sam knows that she should be the one sleeping out here. 

Gathering her things and preparing for the next day is easy because Josh is out cold in her room, so she doesn’t have to try to be quiet. The couch, at least, is comfortable. She has a blanket that she doesn’t need because the California summer is warm enough. Sam is seconds from reaching REM sleep when she hears a knock at the door. If it’s Lena or Jack, she’ll kill them, but she doesn’t have a text on her phone and that’s definitely not like them to show up unannounced. 

Sam drags herself to her feet and forces herself to wake up just enough to swing open the door and-

“Oh, shit, I woke you up.” The last thing Sam wants is for Alex to see her in her oversized Midvale Blue Devils’ shirt. She feels completely exposed. But Alex looks more concerned about intruding. “Sorry.”

“Hey, will this work?” Lois emerges from her room carrying a brown leather backpack. Sam steps aside and lets Alex come into their apartment. “Alex forgot to get a new backpack after she donated her old one,” Lois explains. 

“Thanks, yeah. This will work.” Alex seems to be hovering near the door. Lois turns on the light and goes to the fridge. “What are you doing?”

“Stay awhile,” Lois offers. She pours Alex a glass of water and hands it to her. Alex takes it but doesn’t step any further into the apartment. “I know you just made Captain but you seriously need to relax. Get laid, I’m begging you.”

“I’m trying.” 

“Take a seat,” Lois says and the three of them go over to the couch. Sam tries to scoot her things to the side but Alex sees the blanket covering the couch and instead grabs a pillow and sits on the floor. 

“You got kicked out of your room?” Alex asks Sam. 

“My boyfriend is being a drunk asshole. I decided to stay out here.” Sam wraps her blanket around her shoulders. 

“So...Alex, who can we set you up with?” 

“Lois, please shut up.” But Alex doesn’t look completely put off by the idea. Lois is having fun like always, ready to intervene and make something happen.

“Alex is just  _ so  _ cool,  _ so  _ suave. She doesn’t do relationships because she just doesn’t have time. She’s emotionally unavailable.” Lois throws a pillow at Alex who doesn’t even react to getting made fun of. 

“I don’t remember you complaining about any of that when we slept together.” Sam’s mouth hits the ground and Lois literally points and laughs at her face. 

“You two…” Sam doesn’t even know how to finish her sentence. 

“It was a few times way back when. That’s old news.” But it doesn’t feel like it. Sam feels like she’s half a step behind everyone on everything. “Sam, do you know any eligible girls?” 

“Don’t listen to her.” Alex says as she leans back against the coffee table. “My main focus is not failing this English class I have to take.” Sam perks up but tries not to look like a giant English nerd. 

“There’s my cue to leave. I’ve got an early start.” Lois kisses Sam’s forehead and hits Alex for the second time with a pillow before returning to her bedroom. Alex looks between Sam and the door. 

“Should I leave?”

“You don’t have to.” Sam scoots over a little more. “You can sit up here.” Alex sets her backpack on the ground and sits next to Sam on the couch. “This is the first time I’ve seen you nervous.” 

“Hm. Yeah. English has never really been my strong suit.” 

“You seem to be speaking it decently,” Sam jokes. “What course are you in?” 

“‘ _Angry’ Women in Film and Lit_.” 

“That’s funny...I’m in that class too.” Sam doesn’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing yet. Alex looks like she can’t tell either. “I’m an English Major so...if you need help you can always talk to me.” 

“Okay. Cool.” Alex pulls out her phone. “You should give me your number.” Alex hands her phone to Sam. “If you want.” Sam puts her number in and hands the phone back to Alex, trying desperately not to be reminded of how close Alex suddenly feels. And the fact that Sam is only wearing a t-shirt and underwear, while Alex is fully clothed. 

“When’d you start playing soccer?”

“Random.”

“I considered just googling stuff about you, but...since you’re here.” 

“When I was four.” Alex slips her phone back into her pocket. “When’d you start cheerleading?”

“Freshman year.” 

“Why?” Sam feels like she’s being interviewed. She wonders if Alex thinks there are right and wrong answers to any of these questions. 

“Because I thought I looked cute in the skirts.” Sam catches Alex looking at her legs, she tries not to become a blushing mess. 

“Yeah, those are nice.” 

“I’ll be at your first game,” Sam says. “Don’t disappoint.”

“I’ll be at yours. Well...the football game.” Alex full-on checks her out now. “I’m sure you won’t disappoint.” Alex grabs her new backpack, slings it over her shoulder, heads for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam.”

* * *

Alex has never stepped foot into Wilson Hall. She’s not used to walking into a room and seeing desks and not labs and beakers and other equipment. The room itself is also really small. She’d guess that the room only fits 25-30 people. She spots Sam sitting near the window chatting with a few other relatively well-dressed students. Alex feels out of place in her soccer training pants and her hoodie but Sam’s welcoming smile quells some of her nerves. “Hey,” Sam says nodding to the desk beside her. Alex sits and pulls out her journal and a pen. “Nice backpack.”

“Thanks.” 

“You ready? If you get scared, I’ll hold your hand.” Alex had noticed last night that Sam has a great smile. And unlike most of Alex’s friends, Sam holds back on her wit and sarcasm so when it comes through, it’s a surprise. 

When Professor Martens walks into the room, most of the students greet her enthusiastically. Apparently, Alex is the odd one out because most people in this class seem to be English Majors. Alex is thankful that all they do for most of the class is go through the syllabus. Alex marks every big paper in her planner and notes that while most of the big papers don’t overlap with big games, some of the smaller papers will be tough to get through because of her conditioning and traveling schedule. 

“Now, I’ll have to break you up into groups of two in order to discuss some of the preliminary questions I sent about how you all perceive women in some popular films. Don’t get too stressed about coming up with something brilliant, I just want you all to get to know each other.” Alex immediately turns to Sam. She isn’t interested in meeting new people, she just wants to make this class as easy as possible for herself. 

“I can’t believe we have to actually speak to each other in this class.” That elicits a laugh from Sam.

“You’re so green.” Sam scoots her desk closer to Alex. “I’m gonna fucking school you, Danvers.” 

“Yeah, yeah.”

“There’s a football party, after the game.” It sounds like an invitation, one Alex is surprised didn’t come from Lois or Clark. 

“It must be tough to party after you lose.” Sam nudges Alex’s arm. “I don’t think they’d want me there.”

“Well, I do,” Sam pretends to be writing something on her worksheet, instead of actually saying that to her face. “It seems that you’re not an annoying, cocky, asshole as certain people might have me think.”

“I promise that I’m at least one of those things.”

“Don’t undersell yourself.” Sam slides her paper over to Alex so she can copy her notes. “And you’d better be there.”

The class is easy after that. A few more notes and minor additions to her calendar and Alex has had her first college English class under her belt. Sam jokes that Alex should get “a gold star” but Alex can’t think of something witty to respond with before she is off to get ready for practice. For once, Leslie actually fills up the correct amount of water bottles and is stretching out on the pitch on time.

Vasquez wraps their arm around Alex’s shoulder and pulls her over to where Siobhan and Leslie are huddled up. “Apparently, there’s a party after the football game,” Vasquez explains. “We were thinking of going.”

“Yeah, Sam told me about it.” Leslie’s eyes widen at Alex. 

“Be careful, Danvers. She’s cute and all, but come on.” Alex ignores Leslie as usual and steals the ball from Siobhan. 

“I think it’s a good idea. We’ll go to the game, then pre-game, and then go to the party. A show of good faith.” 

Unfortunately, Coach Grant is not sympathetic to their evening plans. They ran their drills hard but because their practice had to be moved in order to allow the staff to prepare for the football game, Cat was acting like they had hours and hours to go. The scrimmage became a little too intense. Everyone being on their toes about tonight, first day jitters, and their first game of the season the following week. 

Siobhan slide tackles Alex and Alex hits the ground hard. “Your cleats were up, idiot!” Lucy yells at Siobhan as she rushes over to help Alex up.

“Alex, I’m so sorry.” Siobhan looks frustrated and concerned. Cat blows her whistle for them to keep going.

“It’s okay. Let’s finish the scrimmage.” Alex knows that it wouldn’t do anyone any good to dwell on it. She’s stronger than she was a few months ago and if she’s going to be a good leader then she needs to show it now. 

Thankfully, the rest of the practice goes by without incident. Cat surprises them all by having them run a two-mile cool down which almost pushes them to their limit. But Lucy - Queen of Motivation - reminds them by chanting, “six more hours until beer, six more hours until beer.”

Everyone showers and they head back to the soccer house as a team. Alex isn’t interested in joining the shouting and screaming downstairs, but Vasquez knocks on her door carrying a tin box with a smile. “Can’t go to this sober. Wanna smoke?” 

Alex nods and Vasquez closes the door behind them. While Vasquez is stuffing a towel under Alex’s door, Alex sets up the fan and opens the window. “You’re a lifesaver,” Alex says remembering how much she needs to relax. It’s been a hectic two weeks full of good and interesting surprises but tonight they get to unwind. Finally.

“I do my best.” 

Alex doesn’t smoke a lot but if she does it’s usually with Vasquez or Lucy. Vasquez is great because they’re quiet and Alex can focus on what she’s feeling and not any rambling from Lucy’s giant mouth. But this time, Vasquez is chattier than usual. They lay shoulder to shoulder on Alex’s bed passing the joint between them. “So, what’s the deal with Lois’s friend?”

“Who?”

“Sam.”

“Nothing.” Alex passes the joint to Vasquez and blows a few smoke rings in the air. “She’s friendly. In my English class and all.”

“Her boyfriend is the one that pushed that kid down the porch steps.” Vasquez holds their hands up defensively. “All I’m saying is be careful.”

“I’m only being nice.” Vasquez shrugs and snubs out the joint. They fan out the room, spray some Febreeze, and go downstairs where everyone is - mostly - ready to go. Siobhan is the last one downstairs and it’s mostly because she put on makeup.

“Now we’re gonna be all crammed up against the fence,” Leslie huffs and stomps ahead of everyone as they walk all the way over to the east side of campus. Alex can hear the marching band and that’s when she really starts to think about what it must mean to be a football player. A loud spectacle under the lights every Friday, a marching band and cheerleaders on the sideline and in the stands, and people practically worshipping you because you put on pads to get hit.

Alex hates to admit it but she’s a little jealous. 

Leslie is right. They end up crammed against the railing of the stands but at least they’re right in front of the cheerleaders. Lucy has taken to heckling the other team, Siobhan has disappeared somewhere near the concession stand, and Alex and Vasquez seem to be trapped in a trance of their own making. 

Watching the actual game proves difficult because their brains are at half capacity, so Alex and Vasquez choose to focus on the cheerleaders instead. Cute, glittery, and with enough pep to last a lifetime, The Midvale Blue Devils Cheerleading Squad is on fire tonight. At one point, Nia gets thrown so high into the air that Vasquez actually leans forward like they’re ready to catch her. “Dude, you’re high as hell.” 

“Dude, so are you.” Vasquez and Alex grab a brown paper bag filled with popcorn as soon as Siobhan returns from the concession stand. 

“You’re welcome, assholes.” Siobhan tears into a bag of  _ Skittles _ . “By the way, your baby sister is parading around the concession stand with a petition.” 

“Gutsy,” Lucy remarks. 

“That’s a Danvers for ya.” After two very long hours of stomping on the stands, cheering when Clark makes some heroic pass to reach a 1st down, the crowd seems moderately pleased by a 14-0 loss. 

“Well, the  _ Bad News Bears  _ have done it again.” Leslie claps her hands together as the football team jogs off the field. “Looks like it'll be a pity party.” They decide to head to Al’s to grab drinks before they head over to the football dorm. Lucy is feeling generous and buys four pitchers for the team and even though Lois starts hounding Alex and Lucy via text, they still manage to finish them all before they prepare to leave. 

Alex is at that perfect balance of buzzed and calm. She doesn’t care that the walk to the dorm is long. Leslie is doing amazing impressions of the football players which keeps Alex entertained enough to ignore the fact that they are seriously going to a football party. 

The football players had lost their right to a house this year. So the bulk of the players signed up for the basement floor of the grossest and oldest dorm on campus and made it their own. As they enter the dorm, Alex notes that the main lounge area has been turned into a dance floor. The music is blaring and the neon lights are making Alex see double. 

Almost all of the football players are partying hard in the lounge. Clark is standing near a makeshift DJ stand wearing the douchiest mesh tank top Alex has ever seen. Alex is seconds away from pushing through the crowd to tell him when Sam - wearing a backless black dress - steps in her path. “You made it.” Sam’s holding a red cup with something that smells like tequila and nothing else. “Want a drink?” 

“Sure.” It’s difficult to push through the crowd, but they finally make it to a small kitchen where a few freshmen are trying to, unsuccessfully, open beer bottles. As soon as they enter, they scamper away, looking for trouble somewhere else. 

Alex is certain that Sam has somehow gotten hotter. Are her legs longer too? “The game was fun.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah.” Alex leans against the counter trying to focus her eyes. “I dig the skirts.” Sam takes the drink that she’d just made for Alex and pours it down the sink. “Why the fuck did you just do that?!”

“I think you’ve had enough.” Sam takes a small sip of her own drink. “Do you need a babysitter or something?” 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m good.” Alex peaks out of the kitchen and into the chaotic mess on the dancefloor. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

“Somewhere out there. I don’t know.” 

“You don’t care? Don’t you like him?” Sam sets her cup down and grabs hold of Alex’s arm. Without another word, Sam drags Alex through the crowd, down the hallway, and upstairs. “Where are we going?” Alex laughs when they land right in front of a vending machine. Sam starts patting down Alex’s pockets. “What are you doing?” Finally, Sam pulls Alex’s wallet out of her pocket. “Thief.” 

“ _ Doritos _ ?” Alex nods. 

“I’ll eat anything.” Alex almost says  _ including you _ but at least her brain has the decency to maintain some boundaries. Sam puts a dollar into the machine and presses F7. “I can text Lucy or something, she’ll look out for me.” Alex wants to insist but Sam looks so reluctant to leave her alone that Alex starts to get worried. “You should be down there, you should-.”

“I’d rather be up here,” Sam admits finally. At this point, Alex is extremely suspicious of this Josh guy. Sam never seems to want to be around him and there is something particularly unsettling about that. “Wanna see something creepy?”

“Sure.” 

When Sam leads Alex to an old elevator that looks like it hasn’t been used since the 1950s, Alex actually gets chills. It’s one of those elevators where you have to do everything manually. The metal gate _creaks_ as Sam pulls it up and when Sam steps into the actual elevator, Alex straight up laughs. “You’re crazy. I’m not going in there.”

“Big tough Alex is scared.” Sam bounces around in the elevator. 

“That’s not gonna work.” 

“Come on. I thought you were brave. Don’t make me go alone.” Alex considers the fact that she might be slowly walking toward her death but she steps forward anyway. The elevator is smaller than she thought. Sam closes it up like a pro and she closes the doors and then...nothing. “Oh, you thought this old thing works? It hasn’t run since 1974.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Sam sits down and Alex joins. They rip open the Doritos and dig in together. 

“This is plenty of fun.” Sam is right. In the quiet elevator away from all the noise and sloppy-drunk college kids, sitting with someone who is kind and beautiful and smart isn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to Alex. “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” Alex answers far too quickly. 

“Tell me.”

“This season,” Alex lies. “We’re good, I guess. So there’s pressure with that.”

“What happened? With your injury?” Alex pauses and listens as a large group of people runs by the elevator laughing and screaming. They don’t even notice the elevator, clearly, and that feels strange. Alex is used to being noticed and judged but somehow Sam has pulled her into the one place where none of that matters. 

“My leg basically snapped in half.” Sam gasps. “It looked worse than it was. The adrenaline helped and I got drugs as soon as I made it to the hospital so...I don’t know. A bunch of metal is keeping it going.”

“Shit, sorry. You are tough.” 

“I try to be.” Alex wishes that she was downstairs. Maybe she could hide behind her friends or a drink and mindlessly hookup with the first girl she talks to. That would be a lot easier than looking at Sam watching her. “So...tell me about books.”

“Books?”

“Yeah. What do you like about them?” Sam looks surprised to be put on the spot.

“The smell.” Alex laughs and Sam nudges her shoulder. “I grew up in a bookstore. Well, kinda. I was supposed to go to summer camp once but my aunt owned a bookstore so I insisted that I work there over the summer. That smell never leaves me.”

“Wow, nerd.”

“That’s a compliment.”

“A cheerleader with a giant brain? Lois is quaking.” Sam leans back against the wall. Now it’s her turn to look thoughtful. 

“Lois has Clark. I don’t think she’s very jealous of me.” Sam crosses her legs. “Can I ask you something?” 

“We’re technically trapped in here forever so...sure.” 

“You met Josh. What do you think of him?” Alex doesn’t know Sam enough to know if she should tell her the truth. But Alex is still drunk and still high so she doesn’t care if she oversteps. 

“He pushed this kid down the porch last year. That’s basically all I know about him.” Alex studies Sam for a long moment and then fucking goes for it. “Look, I don’t want to be in your business or anything but if he does anything that you’re not cool with just let me or someone on the team know. We’ve dealt with some shit and we’ll have your back.” The elevator goes quiet. Sam doesn’t respond but she does nod. And then they’re looking at each other and Alex thinks that she might seriously go in for a kiss. Which would be stupid, very stupid. 

But the elevator door flings open and Josh is standing there with Clark at his side. “Whoa! Hey, I was looking for you.” Sam climbs up to her feet and Clark helps Alex up. “What were you two doing…?” He wiggles his eyebrows at Sam. “I’ll watch if you want to keep going.” 

Sam whacks Josh’s chest. “Shut up, pig!”

“Alex, are you okay? You look like you’re in a different realm.” Clark wraps his arm around Alex’s shoulders. “I’ll take you to Kara.” Alex and Sam go their separate ways. Alex is placed in Kara’s arms and doesn’t leave her side for the rest of the night. At one point, Kara turns to her and grins. 

“I’m basically your big sister right now.”

“Shut it.” 

“Is Sam alright?” Kara whispers it so that they can avoid the heckling of the rest of the team. 

“She’s fine.” 

“Her boyfriend is a jerk.” Kara nods over at where Joshand Sam are standing. Josh has a beer in hand and he’s laughing at something one of his teammates is saying. He looks happy and confident, Sam looks like she’s struggling to pay attention. Alex catches Sam’s eye once that night. Much later and just as the party is reaching its peak. It’s brief, barely even there, but it is something. 

Alex vows to avoid Sam Arias for the rest of the school year. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if anyone can guess what moments from this story that I directly take from my college experiences.
> 
> Happy New Year everybody!


	3. Game On

When Alex walks into her English class on Monday morning, Sam points and laughs at her.  _ So much for avoiding Sam _ , Alex thinks, as she plops down at her desk and tosses her backpack on the floor. “What’s so funny?” Sam looks a lot more casual than their first class together. Acid-wash jeans with a few rips at the knee and a black and white striped t-shirt that complements her white sneakers well. Alex feels so self-conscious from being laughed at that she looks down at her own clothes - blue mesh shorts, a black long sleeve shirt, and a flat-brimmed cap - and wonders if she’s too underdressed. Again. 

“Professor Martens told me that I’m your homework buddy.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?” 

“That I get your work when you have to leave early for games.” Sam flips open her planner and shows Alex that she has all the weekday soccer games marked in her calendar. “So I won’t forget.” Sam grins at Alex. “I can’t wait to annoy the shit out of you.”

“You already are,” Alex jokes. 

“I hope that…” Sam looks serious. Professor Martens is just settling in at the front of the room. “I hope that Josh didn’t get under your skin or anything. He gets jealous sometimes and seriously has no filter-.”

“Don’t you get tired of apologizing for him?” Professor Martens quiets the class before Sam can answer and Alex is thankful. She has yet to figure out why she cares so much. Sam is a nice girl but she’s average and boring and dating a total tool-bag. This is why Alex practically sprints out of the classroom when it’s over and doesn’t stop jogging until she’s in the locker room. Siobhan is already there - because of course she is - and Leslie shows up minutes later looking like she’s just seen a ghost. “What’s up with you?”

“Just talked with coach and she’s pissed.” 

“Why?” Siobhan asks. 

“Administration and the athletic department said no. I guess having super hot chicks jumping around and yelling our names will just have to remain a fantasy.” Leslie puts on her shinguards. “The dream was good while it lasted, huh, Cap?” 

“Yeah.” Alex tries not to let it get to her. It was just some bullshit idea in the first place. Alex never cared about it, not really. But seeing the cheerleaders laughing and rehearsing their routine for the next football game distracts Alex enough that she passes the ball to Lucy when she should’ve taken a shot herself. 

Cat’s whistle _blares_ and she comes rushing across the field toward Alex. “Danvers, what the hell are you doing? You’ve got a clear path to the goal. Why’d you pass the ball?” Alex isn’t sure what she should say. “That’s a question.”

“I don’t know.”

“So, if we lose a game because of your dilly-dallying all you’re going to say as  _ Captain  _ of this team is  _ I don’t know _ ?” Cat takes a step closer to Alex. “You’ve got skills, fucking use them.” Cat kicks the ball back to the center of the field. Before Alex can sulk, Lucy jogs over to her. 

“Take the shot, Alex. Don’t worry about anyone else.” Alex tries not to let anything get to her head. Sometimes she fumbles under pressure and the last thing she wants is for Coach Grant to think that she isn’t ready. Alex takes the criticism and then she shows what she’s made of. Like always. Weaving between two defenders, toeing the end line, and putting the ball over Leslie’s hand and into the top left corner. Coach Grant doesn’t clap, she hardly even acknowledges that it happened, except by rewarding Alex and Vasquez - who’d set the play up with a nice pass right up the sideline - with an early end to the practice while everyone else does suicides. 

Even though they are trying their best to hurry up so they can return to the soccer house and collapse onto their beds, while they try to finish the assignments that they should’ve done over the weekend, Vasquez and Alex bask in the quiet. “The football party was kinda fun,” Vasquez says without even looking up from their gym bag. Alex is struggling to put on socks while her feet are still wet. 

“Yeah. Kinda.”

“I shouldn’t have smoked though. I was trying to talk to this cute girl and I totally blew it.” The blush on Vasquez’s face says it all. 

“Oh yeah? Who?” But loud shouting from outside interrupts them. Alex and Vasquez nearly trip over themselves sprinting out of the locker room. They’re used to yelling - at games, hell, even in the house - but never like this. Angry and hostile. 

It shouldn’t surprise Alex that they find Josh hovering over Sam. “Back the fuck off her!” It’s not a question and as soon as Josh sees them approaching he shuts his mouth and takes a step back. Vasquez is all worked up, their fists clenched at their side. Alex grabs their arm and pulls them back. “What’s your problem?” Vasquez snaps.

“Nothing, I was-.”

“Just leaving,” Alex finishes for him. He’s lost all his rage and now he’s just a stupid boy with nothing better to do than bully someone smaller than him. “Take a hike!” And he does, which leaves Sam to wipe her tear-stained cheeks and lean back against the wall. 

“Thank you,” Sam whispers. And all Alex wants to do is reach out and hug her. Tell her that everything will be okay. “Sorry.” 

“We were just gonna go to Milton’s,” Vasquez says, trying to offer a better alternative than standing there. “It’s half-off day if you wanna join.” 

“Sure.” 

“I need to grab my shit, I’ll be right back.” Vasquez flies off to the locker room. Alex already has her things so she can’t run off and leave Sam there. Alex digs around in her team duffel bag and manages to find an unopened pack of travel tissues. She opens it and hands one to Sam. 

“Have you ever been to Milton’s?” Alex asks as Sam wipes her eyes. 

“No. Is it cool?” 

“You’ll see.” Alex laughs. 

Normally, Alex would take her bike to Milton’s but now that Sam is there with them, they decide to walk. It’s shockingly cold for a summer afternoon in Midvale. Alex jams her hands into her pockets and tries not to shiver. “It’s gotta be like 60 degrees out here.”

“You California wuss,” Vasquez says as they squirt water on Alex’s head. “Where are you from, Sam?” 

“Saint Paul.” 

“I’m from Milwaukee. Midwest high five!” Sam obliges. Alex crosses her arms over her chest and trudges on. “Hell, yes!” Vasquez says with their arms raised. Vasquez jogs ahead and rushes into Milton’s like they always do when they spot Milton himself standing behind the counter. 

“What are they so excited about?” 

“Milton. He’s like...their campus grandpa.” Sam and Alex enter and find Vasquez leaning on the counter and animatedly chatting with Milton. 

“Alex! I’m so happy you’re here.” Milton is 82 years old and there is no sign of him slowing down. He sets out a plate of cookies. “Fall is coming up and I want you to try our new pumpkin cookies. Oh!” He notices Sam. “Who’s this?”

“I’m Sam, I go to Midvale College.” Milton shakes Sam’s hand and slides the cookies over closer to them. _Milton’s_ is a tiny little cafe. Brick walls and a fireplace in the corner. Alex occasionally studies here but mostly she comes here with Vasquez or Kara to unwind. “This is delicious!” Sam’s right, Milton has outdone himself like always. 

“That’s sweet. I’ll give you something sweeter. Go on and sit down.” Vasquez doesn’t sit, they stand at the counter bullshitting with Milton. Alex takes her normal spot at a four-person wooden table and Sam sits beside her. 

“He’s nice.” Alex nods. Midvale is a small town and everyone feels like family, except - sometimes - her own family. “Have you heard? The verdict on us cheering for you?”

“Yeah. It’s okay…” 

“Not for the squad. We have a meeting with the athletic department tomorrow.” Sam smiles when Milton comes over and sets down two whipped-cream topped coffees. “Thank you.”

“On the house.” Alex didn’t realize that this was a setup. But Vasquez is so quick to say that they have a bunch of homework to do and they leave Alex and Sam alone. Alex understands, naturally, because Vasquez has been through a lot and sitting there and talking about whatever was going on with Sam and Josh would probably be triggering for them. So Alex is left to deal with the situation, which leaves her at a loss. 

“Are they okay? They seemed to want to get as far away from me as possible.” 

“It’s not you, it’s...their family isn’t great.” Alex scoops some whipped cream into her mouth and leaves it at that. 

“You both are really nice,” Sam says which sounds like a leading statement because she adds, “Are you dating anyone?” 

“What?” 

“Dating.”

“Oh. No.” Alex laughs. “I’m not really the dating type.” 

“What does that mean?” Alex shrugs. “Weren’t you dating that one girl?” 

“Who? Oh…” Alex grabs a napkin and sets her spoon down. “Maggie.”

“Yeah.”

“She graduated.” Sam is nervous or at least she seems that way. Sam has been stirring her coffee for five minutes as she asks completely average questions with an unquestionable vested interest. “And we weren’t dating. She was just a consistent hookup.” Which isn’t exactly true. Alex had enjoyed Maggie’s company but they’d clashed a lot. Alex didn’t want to spend the energy on a real relationship and Maggie had been an uncertain mess last semester. 

“She wasn’t on the team, was she?”

“God, no.”

“Lois says that you guys have a sort of team-cest thing going on.” Sam looks like she’s sounding out every word she says. She’s tentative which is something Alex had noticed before when Sam stumbled over her pronouns at the QSU meeting. 

“Not really. Well...Leslie and Siobhan sometimes have a thing.” Alex goes for her second pumpkin cookie. It’s strange that Sam cares this much. She seems to always be interested in Alex’s personal life. Alex knows that it’s - probably - because she doesn’t like the questions Alex asks her. Sam clearly doesn’t like talking about Josh and it shows. “Why is Lois talking shit about the soccer team?”

“She likes making fun of Lucy.” 

“Yeah, those Lane sisters. Trouble.” 

“What about your sister? Kara, right?” Sam has all but given up on her coffee. She is now laser-focused on Alex. 

“She’s had my back forever, even when…” Alex closes her mouth. What the hell is wrong with her? She is seconds away from telling Sam the most personal thing about her. “Just...she’s amazing.” Alex is feeling about as vulnerable as ever, so slugs down a bunch of coffee. “What about you? Siblings?” 

“I’m an only child. Can’t you tell?”

“Nah, you don’t have that...selfish-streak.”

“That you know of,” Sam corrects. 

“Right. That I know of.” Alex eases back in her chair. “So, what trouble did you get into in your aunt’s bookstore?”

“Plenty.” Sam's eyes light up just at the mention of that place. It’s easy to see that Sam feels free when she’s talking about her passions, Alex can relate to that on some level. “I ate lots of edibles and read really weird fantasy novels. I also, well just once, stole money from the shop but that was only because I wanted to pay for a flight to New York. It was for a book convention.”

“Wow.” Alex likes hearing about this side of Sam. The troublemaker with a solid moral code. “You and I would’ve gotten along in high school.”

“Why’s that?”

“That was probably the only time I could’ve gotten into any trouble.”Alex shrugs. “But scouts were getting interested, so I had to cool it.”

“Were you surprised that you ended up so close to home?”

“Yes.” Alex knows there’s a lot more to this conversation than she’s willing to share right now, but Sam’s curiosity can’t be quelled, so Alex adds, “But this was the program for me anyhow. Plus it was a good fit for Kara too.” Alex tries not to sound like the mother she had to become for the sake of protecting Kara from Eliza’s insanity. But she’s proud of what she did. She could’ve gone to a bigger school, one were the tutors do all the athlete's assignments for them and where she could be free of all the pressures that weigh heavily on her every day. But she’d chosen the hard route instead and if she stuck to it, her future might offer her the rewards she’s been waiting for. “You’re far from home.”

“Yeah, well…” Sam tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “My family’s big. There’s a lot of judgment and Catholic guilt and I wanted to try something new for a change. And it doesn’t hurt that we’re near the beach. I love the ocean.”

“Me too. You ever been surfing?”

“I meant I love  _ looking  _ at the ocean.” 

“Nonsense, I’ll take you some time.” Sam rolls her eyes at the thought but Alex silently accepts the challenge. “Are you close with them? Your family.”

“Sometimes. Other times I realize that I haven’t talked to them on the phone in a while and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. They care more about me finding a guy to marry than actually getting the education I came here for.” That leaves a bitter taste in Sam’s mouth and Alex wonders if that’s why Sam latched onto Josh so easily. “What about you? Do you have a lot of family around here?”

“My mom lives here and so do a few cousins. The rest of my family is scattered around.” 

“Is your mom coming to your first home game?”

“I hope not.” Sam’s eyes shoot to Alex’s. “But that’s another story for another time.”

Sam, as it turns out, is a great listener. This is normally a wonderful thing, but now it’s causing Alex to want to open up more. Sam was easy to get along with. Her smile was true and her laugh was a flourish of radiating energy. She could be deceptively quiet. And then swoop in with heavy sarcasm that catches Alex off guard. She is not this boring chick from the Midwest, she’s something else. Alex just isn’t certain she knows what that means for her. 

They spend three hours at the cafe, bullshitting and closing the place down. They argue over who should drop who off. Alex wins only because she promises to text when she gets back to the soccer house and promises to let Sam help her on the first essay for their English class. Alex walks Sam to the door and surprises herself by hugging Sam before she leaves. “Thank you for today. You’re...different than I thought you’d be.” Alex isn’t sure if Sam means it as a compliment or not but she takes it with a smile. 

When Alex is back at home, laying down on her bed four hours later than she intended to, she pulls out her laptop and reviews the footage from last year’s conference final. Usually, she ignores the last twenty-three minutes. She’d been doing well that game. Flowing freely on the pitch. She’d been in-sync with Lucy too, outclassing some of the defenders with their speed and quick passes up the sideline. Alex pauses with the game at the sixty-sixth minute. She sees herself paused just outside of the penalty area. 

She presses play. 

No one told her how loud her screams had been. Or that Coach Grant had gotten to her right after Lucy had showed up. After watching herself get carried off the field, Alex is more ready than ever. Alex isn’t afraid to believe in something more. 

* * *

One day before the first soccer game of the season, Lois walks into Sam’s bedroom carrying her laptop. Lois sits down on Sam’s bed, tosses Sam’s study notes aside, and presses play on a video. “Have you ever even seen a soccer game?” Sam hasn’t, not really at least. She’s maybe seen parts of games on Josh’s TV when she’s in his dorm room. 

“Yeah.” Lois stares at Sam until she gives up the rouse, “Well...no.”

“Nia, Winn!” Seconds later, Nia and Winn pop their heads into Sam’s room. “Let’s watch this on the big screen.” Sam is pulled away from her studying in favor of stuffing popcorn into her mouth and learning way too much about the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. Sam is, apparently, an outcast. Winn, who doesn’t seem that interested in sports at all, somehow knows details about every single player’s personal lives. Nia has seen every single game for the past seven years. Lois is, of course, an absolute stat machine. 

“That’s Rose, she’s my favorite player!” Lois says cheering delightfully. “Alex plays kind of like her. But...also like Tobin.” Nia swoons at the mention of her favorite player while Winn explains everything from rumors to future prospects. Sam struggles to keep up. At least she gets most of the rules down, which she’ll need in order to watch the game tomorrow. 

“So, Alex is kind of...showy?”

“Kind of?” Lois says with a laugh. “She can’t help it. She grew up playing in a lot of gross boys’ leagues, so she had to do things to stand out.” Lois glances at her phone and tries - and fails - to hide her laugh from a text Sam assumes is from Clark. 

Sam checks her phone:  _ nothing _ .

“What about Vasquez?” Sam asks. She cannot run the risk of everyone thinking that she’s far too curious about Alex. She wants to learn about the team. She wants to be a real fan. 

“Besides the fact that they’re super hot?” Nia chimes. Winn immediately high fives Nia and Sam files away that little nugget of information for later. “At practice, they seem like they’re a good passer. They’re always looking around the field.” 

“True, total playmaker.” Lois sends a quick text and returns her attention to the screen. “Lucy can be a little temperamental, no surprise there. But if Lucy and Alex are on, then Ridgeville doesn’t stand a chance.” There’s a knock at the door but Lois is the only one who is willing to tear their eyes away from the screen to answer it. “Alex! We were just talking about you.” Sam looks over the arm of the couch at Alex who is wearing a stupid looking tank top and grey joggers. She’s also holding a t-shirt which she promptly tosses on Sam’s lap with a wink. 

“For you.” Sam holds up the shirt and sees that it’s a fan jersey with Alex’s last name and number on the back. “I forgot to bring it to class.”

“Thanks.” Sam pats the spot next to her on the couch. “Stay a bit. I’m learning all the soccer rules.” 

“Cool.” Alex sits next to Sam but, it seems, she can’t help herself so she adds, “All you had to do was ask. I could’ve given you a private lesson.” From the way that Lois fires a pillow at Alex’s face, Sam realizes that she isn’t just imagining that Alex is flirting. But it’s playful and frankly, Sam doesn’t mind. 

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Winn asks, glancing over his shoulder at Alex. 

“Always.” Alex seems to be on a completely different level right now. Totally confident, completely comfortable. She’s been here a thousand times before. “I don’t want to think too far ahead but there’ll be a party after the game at our house. Booze on us.” 

“Can we invite other people?” Sam asks hopefully. 

“Of course. But, football players are subject to our approval.” That comment isn’t just about Josh, Sam can tell. Alex spreads her arms and legs out so far that she’s practically covering the whole couch, and Sam along with her. It takes Sam a second to realize that Alex is messing with her but she doesn’t fold. “QSU’s also selling food at the concessions stand so buy something at half or Kara will rob me blind.” 

“Are you comfortable?” Sam asks with a laugh. Alex stretches her legs even further and rests her legs on Sam’s thighs.

“I am now.” 

“Jerk.” Sam nudges Alex’s legs off and nods toward her door. Sam mouths  _ follow me _ and sure enough, it only takes Alex a few moments to join her into the room away from the roar of Winn, Lois, and Nia cheering. “I wanted to show you something.” Sam goes into her desk and pulls out an essay writing guide. “I have this book…”

“Oh.” Alex flops down on Sam’s bed dramatically. “I didn’t know  _ that’s _ what you wanted to show me.” 

“Would you try to be serious for a second?”

“No.”

“I have a boyfriend, remember?” Alex shrugs off that comment. “Have you started thinking about your essay yet?”

“I will. I swear!” Alex looks around. Sam’s room isn’t as clean as it usually is but her desk and bed are tidy. She suddenly feels embarrassed by her literature quote posters. She feels small in an already small room. Something about Alex often makes her feel that way. Not insignificant but small. Alex seems to have done all these things in her life and Sam feels like she’s drowning in molasses. 

Sam probably realized it at _Milton’s_ but Alex is good for her. She lights up her day in the most unsubtle ways. Alex is unpredictable like that. She doesn’t care how she looks, Alex is someone who is so totally herself no matter who is standing in front of her. Sam wants to ask her how she manages to find that balance, but instead, Sam fumbles around her room like she’s a stranger. “I like it in here,” Alex says after the miles and miles of silence between them. Sam isn’t sure what that means because Alex says the words like it’s a real confession. 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“No. I really do like it.” Alex looks up at the ceiling. At the little glow in the dark stars that Nia and Winn had tacked up there. “At the game, our student cheering section is crazy. Stand far to the right and close to the field. It’ll save your eardrums, I promise.” Alex gets up far too quickly. Sam doesn’t know what she was expecting. Another three hours of them getting lost in conversation maybe. “I’ll look for you.” 

* * *

Nia joins Sam in the bleachers extra early. They’re in charge of saving seats and scoping out the competition while Winn, Lois, and Clark get snacks. Ridgeville looks decent from what Sam can tell. They have a particularly tall player on their team and based on the penalty kick drills, their goalie is a phenom. Sam’s eyes drift to Alex. She’s running through drills, chatting with her teammates, and laughing. 

That seems like a good sign. 

Lena and Jack show up about two minutes after them. They are both overdressed but very excited. Jack even has a Midvale flag that he’s waving around as they wait. “This is Jack and I’m at the very first Midvale women’s soccer game. They’re playing an in-conference rival and it should be a nailbiter,” Jack says into the camera. “For all of you curious viewers, the cheerleading squad has been denied their rights to cheer for who they want-.”

“But the fight’s not over!” Kara yells in the background. 

“Exactly. But let’s not dwell on the negatives. Let’s take a look at the squad as they warm up.” Jack points the camera to the field. “According to an athletic trainer that shall remain nameless, Siobhan is working through a minor sprain, which shouldn’t impact the game.” By now, most of the attention is on Jack as he commentates the shit out of everything that’s going on. “Ridgeville also had a successful series of exhibition games but they’ve yet to have their backline tested and Alex Danvers and Lucy Lane are bound to give them problems with their speed.” 

“Jack?” Sam hits his arm to get him to turn and face her. “Will you please shut up and just watch the game?”

“Alright. Just wanted some good B-roll for my collab.” Sam almost doesn’t ask but Jack looks so smug and excited that she has to.

“What collab?” Sam questions.

“Oh, with the school paper. We’re moving toward mixed media!” James explains. That leads into a tangent that is both too focused on  _ perfect camera lenses _ and watching Lena try to jump into the conversation solely for the sake of speaking with her brand new crush: Kara Danvers.

Sam has never been nervous about a football game, but when it comes to soccer she finds herself jittery. She enjoys the ceremony of the coin flip and the way that Coach Grant takes a step back and allows Alex and Leslie to dictate the pre-game huddle. 

Clark, Winn, and Lois come back and even though their saved seats won’t fit everyone, they all mush together and try to make it work. It’s warm and Kara is wearing this adorable baseball cap that she keeps pulling down to cover her eyes. She keeps running back and forth to the concessions stand but always finds her way back to the spot right against the fence. The kick-off is met with the roar of the student section. The drums are loud and Sam tries not to feel self-conscious that there are a few other girls wearing Alex’s jersey. 

The first thing that Sam notices is that the game is choppy. There are a lot of fouls in the first ten minutes. Alex gets taken down hard at midfield and pops right back up, despite Kara’s scream. Jack leans over and tells Sam, “That’s the girl that broke Alex’s leg last year.”  _ Oh _ , so that’s why this feels like a personal grudge match. Alex is much faster in games, presumably, she plays better without the threat of Coach Grant running the whole team to death. She picks her spots and works hard to win the ball back even if it means expending a lot of energy to run back toward midfield. 

The slow start means nothing, apparently. Vasquez steals the ball from one of their midfielders and passes it up to Lucy who passes it across the field to Alex. The crowd goes wild. It seems like something big is going to happen. Alex is quick on the ball, outmaneuvering like it’s her job, and just as Alex is about to take a shot she gets laid out again. The frustration wears on Alex’s face and the no-call makes it even worse. “That’s a fucking foul!” Lena yells and Sam is certain that she has never once heard Lena scream about anything. Ever. 

Alex slams her hand against the ground and climbs her way back up to her feet. She doesn’t say anything to the ref but she does ignore the girl on the other team who tries to help her up. “You’re okay, Alex!” Kara yells which seems to help calm Alex’s nerves a little bit while she jogs back to the sideline and tries to corner an opposing player and get the ball back. 

The student section has their own cheers. They’re easy to catch on to and Sam thinks about how the squad would do wonderfully in front of these enthusiastic fans. Half-time comes like a blur. Sam doesn’t think that she’s breathed for the last forty-five minutes. They sit and re-hydrate and prepare themselves for another stressful half. “Having fun?” Lois asks wrapping her arms around Sam’s shoulders. 

“This is so fucking stressful.” 

“Don’t worry. Alex knows how to hold a grudge. They won’t lose.” 

Lois is right. The Blue Devils come out with a vengeance. Instead, of being the ones who are getting thrown around, they’re the aggressors. Siobhan and Vasquez are tough on the ball and they’re smart too. That is, until Siobhan gets beat on defense and can do nothing except foul hard. In the box. 

“Fuck!” Lois doesn’t even get this upset at Clark’s games and everyone in the stands knows what this means. Leslie’s emotions are a lot. From what Sam can see, Leslie is talking a lot of shit. But, it doesn’t matter, the penalty kicker goes bottom right while Leslie goes left. “Come on, Luce, make it happen!” Lois screams as the ball is reset at the center of the field.

Easier said than done. 

With ten minutes left, Sam actually thinks that Midvale is going to lose. Nia is the only one in the stands who doesn’t look bothered and one minute later, Sam knows why. Ridgeville puts pressure on Siobhan and Vasquez but they make a huge mistake by not tracking Alex. Vasquez kicks the ball up the middle of the field and it goes over two Ridgeville players and miraculously, Alex is able to control it. She is lightning fast and as the Goalie is rushing out for a Hail Mary stop, Alex peppers the ball over her head like some kind of magician and it bounces right into the net. Alex looks up at the sky and gets wrapped up into a hug by Lucy and Vasquez. 

Coach Grant says something while Alex is jogging back to the center of the field and Alex nods, determined. 

Game on. 

Nia jumps into Sam’s arms. Kara shakes James so violently, that Winn has to pry Kara away. Sam is screaming along with the loyal fans and it feels good. Almost like a victory. Ridgeville is so focused on getting focused that they are ill-prepared for a hot-headed and hyped up Lucy Lane. 

Lucy crosses the ball into the penalty area. Sam thinks that it’s a wasted play or at least a miscommunication. Alex comes out of nowhere and heads the ball in. The crowd looks like it’s going to rush onto the field but a few smart students hold everyone back. Sam feels like crying she’s so damn happy and that’s just how the game ends. 2-1, Midvale. 

Most of the crowd lingers around to wave to the players as they head toward the locker room. Alex gets the biggest cheer but Sam presses forward so Alex can see her. “Great game, Alex!”

“Thanks,” Alex says all casual and suave. “You’re my good luck charm.” 

Sam is so excited that she barely wants to return to her apartment to get ready for the party. Nia is a makeup master so she makes Sam look cute and flirty. Sam almost doesn’t wear her navy two-piece dress but it matches everything and she kind of wants to show off a little bit. Lois whistles when she sees Sam but instead of commenting on it, she hands her shot which Sam downs with ease. “Be careful tonight.”

“What does that mean?” Sam asks.

“I think you know.” 

Winn twirls into the room showing off his new crop top which Nia vows to steal the next chance she gets. Sam tries to join in on the jokes and poking fun of Clark because he screamed louder than Lois when Alex scored, but every time Sam’s brain starts thinking - it turns into over-thinking. 

_ Does she look okay? Will Alex say something about her dress? Does Alex even care?  _

The walk is quick and as soon as they arrive at the soccer house, Leslie is standing at the door with a grin. “You can come in, but the toll is kissing Alex.” Whatever the toll is, the party looks fun. The music is good and everyone looks happy. Alex sticks her head out of a second-floor window. 

“Leslie, shut the fuck up and let them in.” Leslie slides out of the way and the large group heads inside. Upstairs most people are hanging around the couches drinking and talking. Sam can hear that the music is actually coming from the basement. “Hey!” Alex bounds down the stairs and looks merry as hell. She is wearing some cut off shirt and torn jeans and the backwards baseball cap makes her look cooler than it should. 

“I’m not kissing you,” Lois proclaims. 

“No one has to kiss me if they don’t want to. It’s a consent friendly house.” Winn pushes between Sam and Clark and plants a big kiss on Alex’s lips. “Dude, your lips are so soft.” 

“Oh, what the hell,” Nia says as she leans forward and kisses Alex on the cheek. “You’re amazing.”

“Thank you,” Alex looks at Sam expectantly. “No kiss?”

“You wish.” 

“Want a drink?” Alex grabs Sam’s hand and pulls her to the kitchen leaving everyone else behind. This seems familiar, only now, Alex and Sam know each other much better and aren’t nervous messes. Alex is good at ignoring the constant cheers and kisses she’s receiving. She is also great at making drinks and playing host. 

“I was impressed tonight.” 

“Tell me more,” Alex jokes. She hands Sam something fruity and strong. 

“That first shot, it was amazing. I couldn’t believe it!” 

“Revenge is sweet.” Alex grabs a beer and leans against the counter beside Sam. “Coach Grant even told me I played okay, so that’s a win.” Alex chugs the rest of her beer and grabs another. Before Sam can say something stupid, or worse, kiss Alex because everyone else is doing it, Lucy rushes into the kitchen. 

“Danvers, that girl is here,” Lucy stage whispers. 

“ _ That girl? _ What the hell does that mean?” 

“The one who was all over you!” Lucy shuts her mouth when someone, who Sam recognizes as Lizzie, walks into the room and approaches Alex. Lizzie says nothing but she does wrap her arm around Alex’s neck and kisses her. Tongue and all. 

“That’s one way to say hi,” Alex says as Lizzie takes a step back. 

“I didn’t want to get lost in the crowd,” Lizzie winks and leaves them alone. Alex scratches the back of her neck and laughs. 

“She’s cute,” Sam says because she doesn’t know what else to say. 

“You gotta hit that, Danvers,” Lucy grabs an entire bottle of  _ Jack Daniels _ and heads off toward the basement. 

“Ignore Lucy.” 

“I don’t mind. If you want to go-.”

“I don’t.” Jack and Lena enter the room and Alex flies across the kitchen to help them make their drinks. Jack replays the footage he got of the goal and Lena sneaks over to Sam. 

“Are you okay?” Lena asks quietly. 

“What? Yes. Why?”

“You look like…” Sam knows her cheeks are red. She knows that her heart is racing. She hates that Lena can see right through her. “What’s going on with you and Alex?”

“Nothing.”

“Is she being an asshole?” Lena looks over at Alex. “Hey, are you being rude to Sam?” Lena is in full-on protective mode, Alex looks clueless. 

“Am I? I wasn’t trying to.” Alex looks at Sam. “Was I being a dick?”

“No, Lena is being overprotective,” Sam assures both Alex and Lena. 

“Okay, no problem,” Alex says returning to Jack and his stupid camera. Sam glares at Lena. 

“What? I didn’t know.” Alex spends the next five minutes trying not to look over at Sam.

Sam needs to talk to Josh. She needs to tell him that she doesn’t see him like she used to. He’s a safety net and not a very safe one either. “Jack, let’s go downstairs!” Lena actually snaps her fingers and Jack looks like a bobblehead as he looks between Sam and Alex and decides, finally, to follow Lena. 

“What was that?” Alex asks curiously. 

“Just Lena being weird.”

“Okay.” Alex doesn’t believe her. “I guess I should get back out there…”

“Hey, before you go and do...whatever it is you’re gonna do with that girl. Can I ask you something?” Alex sets her beer down and waits. “Your goal celebration. You looked at the sky. Was that like a...God-is-amazing-thing?” 

“Oh.” Alex gets deathly serious, Sam wonders if she’s overstepped. “Nah, nothing like that.” She doesn’t add anything else. She just makes it so that she and Sam aren’t alone anymore. Soon, Alex is on the couch as far away from Sam as possible, kissing Lizzie and ignoring everyone else around them. Sam tries to hold her tongue even as Alex and Lizzie disappear upstairs.

Kara takes five seconds from staring at Lena to drink some water and breathe. “Hey, Kara.”

“Hey, Sam!” Kara is somehow completely sober and totally enthusiastic. 

“I think I might’ve said something stupid to Alex.”

“What was it?”

“About her goal celebration. I asked if it was a religious thing and...well, did I mess up?” 

“She’s pointing at the sky, to our dad. He died when we were in high school.” Sam does feel stupid and naive. Alex is a deeply emotional person and now Sam has hit a nerve. Alex is upstairs doing god knows what with some girl she doesn’t even care about and Sam is stuck down here alone. Sam considers calling Josh but instead, she forces herself to go dancing with Lucy and Lois in the basement. 

Sam absolutely shuts the party down with the rest of the soccer team and a few cheerleaders. Lucy offers to let Sam stay in her room. Sam is perfectly content with the arrangement until she learns that Lizzie is a screamer and she can hear almost everything Alex is saying in the other room. Lucy is too drunk to care but Sam is wide awake. 

This is why, when Sam goes to the bathroom at four am, she’s surprised that Alex is sitting outside on a balcony outside of the upstairs common room. Alex’s bedroom door is open and Lizzie is long gone and Sam wonders if she should go out there with Alex. 

Maybe she wants to be alone. 

But Sam can’t help herself, so she climbs through a window - not a door - and steps outside to join Alex. “Hey,” Alex says so calmly, that Sam wonders if she saw her struggling to climb out here. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” Sam tries to figure out what Alex is looking at but it's only the stars. Which are vibrant and lovely at this time of night. “I guess you had a good night.” Alex turns to Sam and looks mildly ashamed. “Lucy and I could sort of...hear.”

“Shit.” Alex returns her attention to the sky. “Sorry.” Alex picks at the railing. “It was weird, actually. Everyone was kissing me and Lizzie was fun but...I didn’t feel anything.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Hm?” 

“To feel something?”

“Yeah.” Alex refuses to look at Sam but Sam’s body seems to have other motives. Her hands, specifically, have now coiled around the hem of Alex’s shirt and Alex’s face is getting closer and closer. “Don’t.” Alex wraps her hands over Sam’s. “You’ll regret that.” Sam is almost certain that she’ll have no regrets when it comes to Alex but she does back off. 

Alex leans back on her arms and continues looking up at the sky. “We won,” She says with a smile. Sam can’t tell if Alex is talking to her or out to the expansive stars hanging above their heads. “We won.” 


	4. Floating or Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is staying safe out there and if you're stuck at home remember to continue to practice self-love and self-care, whatever that means for you!

Sam spots Winn running faster than she’s ever seen him run. He sprints right through soccer practice and ducks under a ball that Lucy kicks into the goal. Sam thinks that he’s gone mad especially with the giddy grin that’s plastered on his face. Lois grabs him to keep Winn from barrelling over and giving him a second to catch his breath. “Winnie, what is your deal?”

“I just talked to Robert Sacks.” Winn grabs a water bottle and sprays water on the back of his neck. “Coach Grant railroaded him and now, apparently, we’ll be joining the cheerleading squad at their away game on Friday.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” Nia squeals. 

“Why an away game?” Lois asks. 

“They’re using this as a trial. They don’t want it happening on campus just yet and they’re trying to spin it as a way to broaden the horizons of the cheerleading squad,” Winn explains. Whatever the reasoning is, Sam is thrilled. “Oh, and...we don’t get to travel on the team bus, but we get to stay at the same hotel with them.”

“Okay, guys. We need to get ready right now. We need new cheers. Fun and acrobatic routines. And we need to collab with the student section ASAP.” Lois pulls up her ‘Reminders’ app on her phone and gets to work making lists. Nia and Winn have apparently spent the last week coming up with fun cheer ideas anyway so they take control of choreography. Sam is just happy to do backflips when needed.

It’s the hardest cheer practice they’ve ever had. And yet, when they’re done the squad is bristling with energy. “Let’s go find the football players and rub it in.” Sam almost doesn’t tag along to the weight room. It’s been a week since she talked to Josh face to face. They’ve texted but that’s it. She doesn’t want his excuses, not anymore.

They’re surprised, to say the least, that the football team isn’t in the weight room. Instead, the room is populated with soccer players doing various lifting exercises. “Well, hello,” Nia mumbles as they enter the room. Sam spots Alex doing clean-and-jerks alongside Vasquez. 

“Okay, Danvers and Vasquez! Looking good.” Lois gets a stern look from someone Sam has never seen before. But he must be the team’s strength and conditioning coach. Sam takes a seat on the bike to pretend like she’s doing something rather than ogle at the fact that every soccer player could probably throw her across the room. Easily. 

“What are you guys doing here?” Alex asks after her set. 

“You haven’t heard? We’re gonna be cheering for you on Friday.” Lucy and Leslie scream and high five, Alex smiles, but that’s about it. Sam practically waves Alex down and motions for her to come over. 

“You don’t look that excited,” Sam notes. 

“I am, I just...soccer is a very long game. I’m worried it won’t be as exciting for you-.”

“I had so much fun at your last game. I’m not worried.” Alex grabs a towel and slides onto the bike next to Sam’s. “So, is it far? I’m terrible at packing.”

“Like four hours. I can make you a really good playlist,” Alex offers.

“I dunno. I’m not sure if I know your music tastes good enough to accept that offer.” Alex is all smiles. “But I might give you a chance. We’ll see.” 

“What are you doing later?” 

“Packing, studying. The usual. Why?” 

“I might need...possibly...maybe...some help on my paper.” Sam grabs Alex’s arm and shakes it. She is beyond excited. “I’ll go to your room or you can come to mine.”

“Sure.” Sam already has a list of topics for their paper running through her head. “You won’t regret this!”

“I’m sure I won’t.” Lois starts leading Winn and Nia to the exit. Sam can’t sit on this bike and pretend like she’s working out. Alex looks like she might need to get back to her workout but she stays put. “I’ll text you when I’m headed over.”

“Cool.”

“Danvers! Social hour with your girlfriend is over.” Alex laughs and climbs off the bike. Sam almost says something to refute the claims, but something about the idea isn’t so terribly off-putting. So Sam smiles and waves goodbye while Alex returns to her weights.

Four hours later, Sam is sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by suitcases. Lois, Nia, and Winn are sprawled out nearby and everyone is far too exhausted to move. Packing for one single night in a hotel should be easy. But there’s a chance that they’ll go to a club nearby and it might rain and they aren’t sure if they’ll wear their new uniforms or not. The impromptu dance session might have aided their exhaustion and now Sam will probably be late going over to Alex’s room. “Am I dead? Why can’t I move?”

“It was all those squats, Jesus.” Nia rolls onto her stomach and drags herself to the coffee table so she can grab her water bottle. Sam barely manages to pull her cellphone out of her pocket and dial. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Alex. I know it’s kind of late but would you be able to come over to my apartment?” Lois arches her brow but says nothing. 

“Sure, no problem. I’ll meet you in a sec.” Sam is actually able to crawl her way into her bedroom and arrange two chairs near her desk. She hears a loud motorcycle outside and she glances out the window only to learn that Alex is the one who is driving. She has to sit on that information for three minutes before Alex knocks at the door and Winn lets her in. 

Alex is certainly a sight to behold standing at the threshold of Sam’s door wearing a leather jacket, jeans, and combing her hair through with her fingers. She sets her helmet down on the ground and smiles. “What’s up?”

“You ride a motorcycle?” 

“Yeah.” Alex sets a thermos down on Sam’s desk. “Is that surprising?”

“No, just...cool.” Sam nods toward the thermos. “What’s that?”

“Coffee from Milton’s. You said you liked the latte, right?” Alex pulls two paper cups from her backpack and sits down at the desk. “For you.”

“Thank you, this is so nice.” Sam grabs her notes and takes a seat as well. While Sam’s journal is color-coded and filled with sticky notes, Alex is filled with scribbles and doodles. “Should we get started?”

“Yeah.” Alex sticks a pen in her mouth and stares down at her notes. “Can’t I just say that Lady Macbeth is cool? Everyone seems so critical of her.”

“I agree. I think it’s a good start.” 

“But...I guess, if we’re talking ethics then how does power fit into that?” Alex taps her pen against her chin. “How the fuck can I write five pages about that?”

“How about we just start with a thesis and go from there?” 

Alex has a great mind but struggles to be creative with her thoughts. She wants things to be over rather than going through the process. Alex has a wandering eye and she has no idea how not to be charming. And she’s touchy, much more than she’s ever been before. It’s easy to get distracted but they get in two hours of work and both have a solid outline by the end of it.

“Do you feel good about it?”

“I feel great. Would you be...would you be okay with reading it over before I turn it in?” 

“Of course.” Sam rests her hand on Alex’s. “Any time.” 

“Sam, your stupid boyfriend is here!” Lois yells from the other room. Sam pulls her hand back and turns toward the door. 

“Yo!” Josh yells from the other room. Alex begins gathering her things to leave. 

“You don’t have to go.” Sam is stuck between going into the living room and grabbing Alex to keep her there. “Just hang around for a bit.”

“Okay.” Alex still grabs her things anyway, probably in case she needs to make a quick getaway. Josh is wearing the grossest stained sweatpants Sam has ever seen and the hoodie isn’t much better. At least Clark is there as a buffer. 

“Hey, Alex, I didn’t know you were here,” Clark says from the kitchen. 

“You two were hanging out in there?” Josh says as he greets Sam with a kiss. Alex joins Lois in an obligatory eye-roll. “Oh yeah, and I heard about the cheerleaders going to your game on Friday.” 

“Yeah, should be a good one.” Alex looks bored to death by Josh’s presence. She flops on the couch next to Winn. 

“Whatever, the soccer team gets some nice ass on the sidelines. Good for you, but you’d better stay away from my girl-.”

“Josh!” Sam snaps.

“What the fuck are you talking about? We’re there to play. Maybe you guys should focus on the field and not the sidelines and maybe you’d win a fucking game.” Sam has never seen Alex so upset. Lois grabs Alex’s arm and literally pulls her out of the apartment. Josh trades glances with Clark and covers his laugh. 

“Honestly, what’s your deal, Josh?” 

“What? She thinks she’s hot shit because she kicks a ball around?” 

“She is hot shit, dumbass,” Winn says around the apple he’s munching on. “Jealousy isn’t a cute look for you.”

“I agree.” Sam nods toward the door. “You can leave.”

“Sam, come on-.”

“You don’t get to treat people like shit and expect it to be okay. You can go back to your dorm room and reflect.” Sam brushes past Josh and rushes outside to find Alex. It doesn’t take her long. Alex is sitting on her bike and Lois is consoling her. Sam feels like she’s intruding but her momentum pushes her forward. “Hey, Alex, I’m sorry-.” 

“If you like the guy fine but if not, I don’t wanna see his stupid fucking face. ‘Cause I’ll break it.” Lois punches Alex on the shoulder. 

“What is up with you?”

“It’s Eliza. She’s coming to my next game.” Alex groans. “I just...I’m sorry that I said that. My mom brings up a lot of emotions.” 

“Well, we’ll be there too. I’ll protect you, you know that.” 

“I don’t need to be protected-.”

“Alex, you are such a softy,” Lois says as she pinches Alex’s cheek. “Your stupid big heart is the best thing about you, so stop trying to be cool or tough, just be you.” Alex smiles despite Lois treating her like a kid. Sam feels like an outsider and yet, Alex’s eyes find hers. “Come back inside.”

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive.” Alex grips the handles of her bike.

“Not when you’re angry. Not alone, I’ll come with you-.” Lois is already reaching for the spare helmet that’s hooked to the back of the bike, but Sam steps forward and grabs it instead. 

“I’ll go.” Sam doesn’t know how to unlatch the helmet from the bike but she simply hangs on until Alex does it for her and Lois mumbles  _ suit yourself  _ and heads back inside. Sam puts the helmet on and stands there, unsure. “Do I just…” Sam motions to the bike. 

Alex stares back at her all doe-eyed and concerned. “Lois is being overprotective. I’m fine.” 

“Maybe I want to ride around on this thing. Maybe that’s my idea of fun.” It isn’t. It sounds terrifying and very stupid, but Sam remembers the conversation she’d had with Lena a few weeks ago. “Don’t be a pussy,” Sam jokes, trying to prove that she’s up for this. Alex laughs so loud that even as Sam tentatively climbs on and wraps her arms around Alex’s stomach, she can still feel Alex’s abs tightening as she tries to regain control of her senses. “It wasn’t that funny.” 

Alex shakes out her hair and slicks on her helmet but before they speed off like two protagonists in some kind of action movie, Alex tugs Sam’s arms tighter around her body. “Don’t scream,” Alex says right before she drives. 

Sam does, in fact, scream. Alex laughs again but Sam does get her revenge by poking Alex in the side. Sam has gone to Midvale College for three years and she has, apparently, only seen about 1/16th of it. She’d always considered it to be a small town but she soon discovers that’s only because of the population. Midvale is big and for a beach town, it’s borders are almost all vast mountains and forests. Alex takes the long and windy roads carefully. The warm summer air is welcome and cozy and Sam learns that there’s this mountain with an overlook spot that allows them to see the Severance Tower on campus along with the long stretches of sandy beaches and beautiful blue ocean. 

Alex has been here before, obviously, because she knows exactly where to stop and how to park her bike so that if there were any cars around - which there hadn’t been for miles - they’d steer clear of where they stood. Sam tugs off her helmet and looks on in silence. They haven’t gotten off the bike and Sam is so in awe about the scenery below them that she completely forgets to let go of Alex’s waist. 

The silence between them is anything but uncomfortable. Sam feels as safe as she ever has and yet, confused. Alex is a marvel of athletic prowess. Skilled and smart on and off the field. She has a sarcastic streak that is often bookended by flirty banter and jokes that definitely make Sam blush. But Alex is also, somehow, chaotic. Anger boils in her and it’s not for show like Sam has seen so many times with Josh. It’s guilt and grief morphing into something unrecognizable. It’s what Lois had seen so easily. Lois had been able to coax that information out of Alex like it was second nature. Sam and Alex don’t have history like that. Sam could blink and all of this could be over.

Whatever  _ this  _ was.

“How often do you come up here?”

“Not very often.” Alex slides off the bike and places her helmet in the vacant spot. Sam follows. “Thanks for coming up here with me. I get in my own head a lot.” 

“Me too.”

“About what?” Alex already knows the answer to that question, but she asks anyway. She wants the truth, it seems, even if it’s difficult to understand. 

“Whether or not I’m wasting my whole life. Doing the wrong things. Studying the wrong things.” Sam looks down at the bundles of trees below them. They could get lost down there, forever. “Dating the wrong people.”

“You love books.” Alex sticks her hands into her pockets. “You don’t love Josh.” Sam should be angry that Alex is assuming. It’s such a jarring statement but Sam can’t deny it. “It is easier to pretend though. I’m not blaming you.” 

“I’m not sure that I can love anyone. I don’t know how.” Sam stalls, kicking pebbles and toying with the hem of her shirt. 

“That would surprise me. You seem to love your friends plenty.” 

“No, not...I meant  _ love  _ love.”

“Yeah?” Alex smiles. “There are lots of ways to love someone.” This time the silence does feel heavy. The warm air is hinting at a breeze and Alex wordlessly wraps her leather jacket around Sam’s shoulders. “My house is over there.” Alex points southeast of campus somewhere. Sam nods along even though she can’t see far enough to recognize anything. “We live on the beach which is nice but my mom lets anyone in town swim and boat around our dock, so Kara and I always had to keep the sand clean.”

“Sounds...not so wonderful.” 

“My mom loved it when we were younger. She could corral us into pretty much anything. But...the growing, the changing, that was the problem for her.” Alex stares in the distance, eyes never moving. “Isn’t it funny that I spent every single day of my childhood with this woman and yet, she knows nothing about me. Nothing about the things that I’ve gone through.”

“That’s the nature of life.” 

“It’s my least favorite part of life, then.” Alex turns to Sam. “If I’m with someone, no matter who it is...I’d like to know them. Which is a lot to ask, I know. But it makes the world feel not so scary. Not so big.” 

They return to the bike soon after. Alex drives faster this time. Taking a different route. They go through a park and through the small downtown filled with mostly closed shops at this time at night. When they get on campus Alex slows considerably and pulls up to the curb of Sam’s apartment with ease. Like when they were up at the lookout point, Sam struggles to let go of Alex. But she wills herself to do so anyway. “Oh, your jacket.” Sam hands it back to Alex and she easily slips it on. Sam hopes that Alex miraculously remembers that she’d left something upstairs, it would give Sam time to come up with the right way to end this evening. 

“I’ll see you in class?” 

“Yep.” 

“Thank you for tonight.” Sam is thankful that Alex keeps her helmet on because Sam very well might have kissed her goodbye. Instead, Sam stands on the corner, goosebumps on her arms, waving as Alex drives away. 

* * *

At 6:30 AM on Friday, a full hour before Sam’s alarm is set to go off, she receives a text from Jack. 

**[JACK]:** _Should I bring my swim trunks or my speedo?_

**[SAM]:** _Bring where?_

**[JACK]:** _To the hotel. Duh. Lena and I are carpooling with Kara’s hottie-mc-hot photography friend, James_

Sam knows that she actually needs to be awake for this and even though she hates waking up this early, she rolls out of bed, throws on a very casual t-shirt and jeans, and goes to meet Jack for coffee. Jack’s wearing a button-down French-tucked into his pants, and pink  _ Sperry’s  _ to match. He looks so handsome, Sam actually growls when she sits down next to him. “You’ve been hanging out with Josh too much, you sound like a dog.” 

“Actually, we haven’t really been hanging out much. Or at all.” Jack perks up at that. “Okay. I’m here and exhausted, please explain what the hell is going on.”

Jack clasps his hands together and grins. “My video about the women’s soccer team practically went viral. A bunch of 20-year-old gays wrote the administration, Cat Grant fucking rules, that’s about it.” Jack stirs some honey into his tea. “The school wants me, James, and Kara to work together to focus on the highlights of the season.” 

“That’s...insane.”

“Isn’t it?” Jack laughs. “That’s the power of homosexuality, baby.” Sam has learned not to underestimate anyone, especially Jack. “When’s your bus leaving?”

“Noon, I think. We’ll probably get there around the time the team does.” 

“Sweet. I can’t wait. I hope Alex scores.” Jack bangs his fist against the table, suddenly remembering, “Oh, speaking of scoring. What the hell is with that Lizzie girl?” 

“What about her?” 

“Alex slept with her. Did you know?” Not only does she know but she  _ heard.  _ “She’s going around and telling everyone that Alex kicked her out of her room-.”

“That didn’t happen.” Jack’s eyes go wide. 

“Alex talked to you about it? Oh, details please.”

“It wasn’t like…” Sam rolls her eyes. “I was staying in Lucy’s room that night. Alex’s room is across the hall.” Jack lets that settle and he nods his head. “I think Lizzie is probably upset that Alex didn’t want something...more. It was just a hookup.” 

“You know, that actually surprises me. Alex doesn’t seem like the type.” 

“There’s a type now?”

“No. But I should warn Lena. If there’s gay girl drama-.”

“There isn’t. Alex is a good person,” Sam assures him. “Besides, Lena is all over Kara. And, honestly, Lena isn’t Alex’s type.” 

“Right, ‘cause you know her so well.” 

“You know what forget it.” Sam doesn’t know why she’s going down this rabbit hole. Jack will probably end up vlogging about it anyway. “All I’m saying is...I don’t think Alex is who you think she is.” 

Sam all but forgets about this early morning conversation when she’s crammed on a bus with twenty other loud and excited cheerleaders. Lois tries to keep the volume down for the sake of their driver but Winn doesn’t know how to not sing out loud and most of the girls are on Instagram rampages. Two minutes into the drive, Sam gets a text from Alex. Which is surprising on its own. But when she opens it she sees that it’s a link to a playlist titled “Death Metal 4 Sam”, she smiles.

There’s a nice mix of acoustic and obscure alternative music. Sam has no idea how Alex got her music tastes just right but she’s impressed. 

**[SAM]:** _Why do you know that I like Phoebe Bridgers?_

**[ALEX]:** _I didn’t, I guess I happen to like her too_

**[SAM]:** _Are you ready for the game?_

**[ALEX]:** _I’m always ready. I’ll catch you after the game at the hotel :)_

“What are you so smiley about?” Nia asks as she peers over at Sam’s phone. “Death Metal?”

“No.” Sam locks her phone. “It’s a joke. Alex made me a playlist.” Nia eyes Sam suspiciously for a long moment and then breaks out into her patented grin. 

“I think she has a crush on you.” 

“Alex?” 

“Duh.” Nia nudges Sam’s shoulder. “Why else would she get all upset at Josh like that?” 

“Because she’s my friend and she cares?” 

“Haven’t you seen the way she looks at you? Like eighty girls kissed her last Friday and all she seemed to care about was the fact that  _ you  _ didn’t.” Nia leans closer to Sam. “If you weren’t straight and dating Josh...I dunno. It kinda seems like she’d go for it.” 

“I doubt it.” Sam has been filled with doubts lately. All she can focus on is remembering brand new routines and making it through the day without losing her mind. Luckily - and with the help of Alex’s playlist - Sam is able to zone out everything for the rest of the bus ride. They don’t have time to lock their things away at the hotel, so they have to find The University of Stanhope’s athletic director and he lets them put their luggage in an old storage closet that’s close to the soccer field. 

They stretch as a squad and expertly ignore the curious glances from the home team. Exactly thirty minutes before game time, there’s revitalized chatter from the bleachers and Sam realizes it’s because hordes of Midvale College students have just arrived. “Holy shit!”

“Three buses,” Lois tells her. “At least we know there’ll be no problems with the cheers. 

* * *

Alex spots Eliza five minutes into their warm-up. She waves and Alex gives her a little nod. She doesn’t have time to waste emotional energy on that. Especially not with Teddy sitting there next to her wearing his stupid Midvale College shirt. Lucy passes her the ball and they work on quick passes up and down the sidelines together. “Cheerleaders have arrived,” Lucy tells her pointing to their side of the bleachers. Alex turns around to see them. They look great. 

Sam looks great. 

“Try not to show off for them,” Alex warns Lucy. 

“Who am I showing off for?” Lucy questions. “I’m game-ready, Danvers. I might even get a goal out there.” 

Their pre-game huddle consists of Vasquez telling them to ignore the 94-degree weather and Coach Grant telling them that if they don’t win, she’ll sign them all up for the National City marathon and make it mandatory. Leslie’s eyes bulge out and she nudges Alex. “I can barely run a mile.” 

Unlike the last game, they have a more direct strategy. Stanhope isn’t as fast as Ridgeville and they certainly don’t have strikers who can make plays on their own. So Vasquez stays far up the field with Lucy, Alex, and Kelly and they press the defenders. 

It’s frustrating Stanhope. 

They aren’t fast enough to outmaneuver them so they go with a more physical approach. Slide-tackles that lead to four free-kicks in the first fifteen minutes. At one point, Alex can feel her jersey getting yanked and tugged and she’s thrown to the ground. “Come on, ref!” Lucy yells. “They’re doing this every time.” Vasquez pulls Alex up to her feet and they move on. 

“Danvers, you okay?” Siobhan yells from half. 

Alex gives her a thumbs up and kicks the ball across field to Kelly in an attempt at catching the other team off guard. Kelly kicks the ball toward the end line and Lucy and Alex dart into the box to give her a clean pass. The cross is good but high and even though Lucy manages to get her head on the ball it veers wide. “Great cross!” Lucy yells as they jog back up the field in anticipation of the Goalie’s kick. 

When Alex actually does get a clear path to goal, it’s more of an accident than anything. Vasquez gets decked at half and the ball goes barreling to nothing. Somehow Lucy gets to the ball in time, spins and passes it up to Alex. The no-call was terrible but Alex weaves her way through two defenders, nutmegs the third, and - with only the will to win and the power to make it happen on her side - Alex takes the shot. 

She knows it’s in the moment the ball leaves her feet. “Let’s fucking go!” Lucy screams as she rushes over and shoves Alex playfully. “Fucking showoff as usual.” 

Alex does spare a glance to her mother, who has since been joined by Kara, James, Jack, and Lena. Eliza is clapping but not too loud. Her face says that she’s happy but not too proud. Alex jogs near the cheerleaders and she smiles - probably too bright - when she sees them all screaming and scrambling to actually complete the cheer. 

One goal would have probably been enough. But Siobhan surprises everyone by taking a shot at the top of the penalty area and scoring. That seals the deal and Coach Grant, in an effort to save her legs, takes Alex out at the 70th minute. Alex hydrates and joins the bench as they celebrate each great pass and shot that the rest of the team makes. 

Alex is so happy that she actually forgets that Eliza is there until she’s reemerging from the locker room, showered and ready for a nice night at the hotel. “Alex!” Kara calls out waving her over emphatically. “Great game.”

“Thanks.” Alex side-hugs Kara. Eliza is looking at her expectantly, so Alex gives her a hug too. “Thanks for coming all the way up here.”

“No problem. Teddy has an RV,” Eliza explains. “If you want we could take you back-.”

“I’m going back with the team.” Alex shifts uncomfortably for a second. “We actually have this kick-ass hotel-.”

“Alex!” Eliza chastises. Alex’s eyes fall on the cross necklace that Teddy is wearing. “Well...we should get going. Kara, you look out for your sister.” Alex almost rolls her eyes but she holds it in until Eliza and Teddy and making their way out to the parking lot. 

“What the fuck?” Alex slings her bag over her shoulder. “Does that guy not know how to speak? Mom’s lost her mind.” 

“He’s not so bad-.”

“He’s homophobic as shit. You just wait until you come out to them.” Alex takes a deep breath and hugs Kara again. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Kara wiggles her way out of Alex’s arms. “I’m gonna go to some bar with Jack, James, and Lena. I’ll see you back at the hotel.” 

Before Kara can get too far, “Hey, so what’s going on with you and Lena?” Kara freezes. 

“Me and w-who? What? Nothing. Friends. We’re all friends-.”

“Well, she’s way out of your league,” Alex jokes. “If you want me to put in a good word for you, I will.” Kara salutes her and Alex goes in search of the rest of her teammates. 

Leslie is a self-proclaimed recovering hillbilly, so every time they go to a hotel, she gets excited. Today is no different. Alex is happy that she’s sharing a room with Vasquez because Lucy is already shouting obscenities in the hallway and Siobhan is screaming her pizza order one room over. 

“The cheerleaders are downstairs in the pool,” Vasquez says as they finish sending out a text. 

“How do you know that?” Vasquez points to their phone and rolls out of their bed in search of their swimsuit. “You’re texting someone on the squad?”

“So what?” Alex doesn’t dig deeper but she does hurry to put on a one-piece and swim trunks. Vasquez and Alex try and sneak downstairs but Lucy spots them and soon they're forced to wait around for Leslie, Lucy, and Siobhan to get changed too. 

The hotel pool area is nice. Cabana chairs surround an outside pool with a giant hot tub situated beside it. Some of the cheerleaders are swimming around in the pool but Alex spots Winn, Nia, Lois, and Sam lounging in the hot tub. “Ew, gross jocks are here!” Lois shouts. 

“Shut up,” Lucy replies before diving into the pool. Alex slides into the hot tub next to Sam and tries her best not to stare at her ridiculously cute pink bikini. Instead, Alex focuses on the conversation that they’ve just interrupted. Lois is trying to leverage this great game and their great cheering to allow them to join the soccer team on their longer trips, even to Metropolis if they can. 

“That’d be dope,” Vasquez says with their eyes never leaving Nia. Alex clears her throat. 

“So, how does it feel?” Sam whispers to Alex while everyone has moved on to talk about gossip. 

“What?”

“You’ve had two amazing games. The sky’s the limit for you.” Alex shrugs it off. She isn’t used to compliments that are so free flying. They are so close that their arms are touching and even with the warmth of the hot tub urging them to separate and seek coolness, their toes glide against each other under the surface. 

“Hey, Sam, are you like a...model or something?” Leslie asks silencing everyone’s conversations. 

“What the fuck kind of line is that?” Alex eyes her teammate with a scowl. 

“It’s not a line, dipshit,” Leslie retorts. “You’re hot, I was just asking.” 

“She knows she’s hot, she doesn’t need you telling her.” Leslie holds up her hands defensively and Alex calms down. Though everyone seems to get back to their conversations, Sam keeps looking over at Alex. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Sam reaches for her towel that’s sitting on a chair that Vasquez had dragged over earlier. “It’s too hot in here, do you wanna…” Sam nods toward the door. 

“Yeah.” Sam gets out of the water first and Alex ignores all the curious glances as she follows. They carefully make their way out of the pool area and Sam hits the elevator button going up. “Fuck, I’m tired.”

“Me too.” Sam wraps her towel around her waist and tugs her hairband, freeing her long her and letting it fall over her right shoulder. The elevator doors open and they step in. Alex decides, stupidly, that if she doesn’t say something now she never will. 

“Leslie’s right, though. You do look good.” Which is not a great thing to say to someone as you’re going up seven floors. The blush that crawls up Sam’s neck immediately makes Alex feel like she’s overstepped. “Sorry, I’m being an asshole.” 

“You aren’t.” Alex hasn’t yet asked where they’re going but Sam fishes out her room key when the doors  _ ding _ open. Alex follows her into the hotel room and watches Sam fling her towel onto the bathroom floor. “Is it okay if I rinse off?” Alex nods. “There are a few beers in the mini-fridge, help yourself.” Sam disappears into the bathroom and all Alex can think about is how much she wants to join her. 

Alex does grab a beer and she makes it through most of it before Sam reemerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. This is the second time Alex has seen Sam like this but in a hotel room at ten pm, it’s difficult not to let her mind run wild. 

Sam sits on the bed beside Alex, as close as they were in the hot tub. She cracks open a beer and takes a few gulps before sliding back on the bed and lounging more comfortably. Alex looks at her and then at her legs and thighs and-

“You think too much.” 

“What?”

“You’re always thinking about something, I can tell.” Sam watches Alex intently for a moment. “Is that what it’s like out there on the field?”

“No. Out there it’s just soccer. In here...I dunno.” 

“Tell me.” 

“I’m not good with things like this. You’re different, Sam. That makes me nervous.”

“We’re friends, there’s nothing scary about that.”

“Friends. Right.” Alex takes another drink. “I’m attracted to you.” Alex shifts uncomfortably. “I shouldn’t be-.”

“It’s okay,” Sam touches Alex’s shoulder. “That doesn’t freak me out. I’m comfortable with you.” 

“That probably means we shouldn’t be up in a hotel room alone.” Sam slides over and takes the spot next to Alex again. She takes the beer out of Alex’s hand and sets it on the ground. Sam kisses Alex on the cheek and then the other. 

“Everyone wants to feel wanted.”

“You should figure out what you want too.” 

“I will.” Sam nods her head like she means it. “My heart’s racing. Jesus.”

“Go over there.” Alex nudges Sam to the other side of the bed. “Let’s just watch some TV. Don’t get any ideas.” 

“You either.” 

It’s midnight when they hear the door open and Lois walks in. “This is...interesting.” Alex quickly slides off the bed and gives Lois a warning look. “Alex, come on.” 

“Relax, Lane. Just hanging out.” Alex brushes by Lois on her way to the door. “By the way, you guys were awesome today. I get why the football team fought so hard to keep you.” 

“It’s true, we are amazing,” Lois says.

“Don’t let it get to your head.” 

* * *

All Alex can think about is Sam. It’s easy, especially with how they left things on Friday night. Alex is thankful that she gets a bus ride filled with yelling and music and everyone desperately cramming so they don’t have to do any homework on Sunday. Alex’s plans are simple. Finish her essay and join her friends for a drink before she goes to bed. Mainly, she thinks it’s a good idea not to see Sam. There’s too much up in the air and frankly, Alex had played her hand too quickly. Admitted something she never should have and now there’s no turning back. All Coach Grant offers as a goodbye is, “Don’t drink too much and don’t get in trouble. Get ready for a practice from hell on Monday.” It’s the closest she’s ever come to saying that she genuinely cares about them this year and Alex will certainly take it. 

The essay itself takes about two hours to get through. Alex still needs to do some final edits but that’s something she’ll save for tomorrow. Despite all the help that Sam had given her, Alex isn’t quite sure she understands the way English majors always seem to word things so eloquently in their work. Alex almosts texts Sam for help but Lucy pops her head into the room. “An NWSL game is on. Everyone’s downstairs if you wanna join.” 

“I might keep working on this.” Alex points to her laptop. 

“Don’t be boring. Come on.” Lucy grabs Alex’s arms and tugs her away from her desk. “As your best friend, I can’t leave you up there alone sulking. We’re watching soccer, so get over it.” After about five minutes of watching the game, Alex is feeling more herself. Siobhan is wearing a plastic crown with a post-it note saying “goal of the year” attached to it. Leslie’s urging Vasquez to say something stupid in a text they’re sending. Lucy is attempting to bet on the game on some shoddy internet sight and Alex is happily drinking an ice-cold beer with her feet propped up on a bean bag chair. The only thing that would make this better would be pizza, so when the doorbell rings, Alex actually thinks she’s fabricated her biggest wish.

But it turns out to be Lois - and Sam. Lois is holding a covered pie-tin and that certainly catches Alex’s attention. “We normally bake something for the football team, so we decided to make you idiots a pie.” Lois does a big show of playing housewife. She cuts the pie in even slices and hands them out to every soccer player in the room. Sam, on the other hand, looks like she might actually be glued to Lois’s side. She doesn’t look as carefree as she normally does and she’s done just about everything she can to not look Alex in the eyes. 

“What about the rest of the team?” Vasquez asks. 

“Do I look like the fucking Barefoot Contessa? I could only make one pie.” Alex takes one bite and is in heaven. 

“Holy shit, Lois. This is amazing!” Alex exclaims getting a mutual consensus from everyone else in the room. 

“What part of  _ we  _ don’t you understand? Sam and I made it together. She did the filling though, so you can thank her too.” Alex gives Sam a smile which is, thankfully, reciprocated. Alex wouldn’t know what to do if she’d actually offended Sam. “What are you dorks doing?”

“Why are you always calling us names? What did I do?” Lois pats Vasquez’s head lovingly. 

“Oh sweet sweet Vasquez. You’ve done nothing wrong except be on a team with my sister. I can’t help it.” Lois takes a beer for herself and sits on the couch next to Siobhan. Sam is still standing and she still looks slightly uncomfortable, so Alex climbs up to her feet. 

“I’m gonna go finish some work upstairs.” Alex nods to the spot where she was sitting, “You can take my spot.” They brush by each other and Alex can faintly hear Lois say  _ what’s up with her  _ as Alex heads upstairs. 

Alex considers texting Lizzie. She doesn’t care that it’s out of desperation and the least healthy way of dealing with the situation. She also doesn’t care that Lizzie has been spreading rumors about her all week. Alex simply knows that this thing with Sam isn’t going to end well and it might be the best choice to focus her desires elsewhere. Alex gets the text written and sent but a soft knock at her door makes her toss her phone aside. “Hey, can we talk?” That type of formality is the last thing Alex wants to hear, especially from Sam. 

“Yeah. Sure.” Alex clears her bag and clothes off her bed to give Sam room to sit. Alex remains seated a few feet away at her desk. 

“So...you’re running away from me now?” 

“Come on.” Alex waves Sam off. “Lucy dragged me down there earlier. I’ve been around my team too much this week-.”

“Your team or me?” 

“Okay, fuck off.” Sam looks away from Alex, like she’s considering the possibility of running away and not looking back. “Look...I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” Alex stands up and joins Sam on the bed. “Yesterday was tough. My mom came to the game and we talked for maybe five minutes. A fucking joke.” 

“At the hotel, you seemed so relaxed.”

“I’m good at that. I sorta need to be.” 

“You don’t have to do that with me. I would’ve been happy to talk to you.” Sam rests her hand on Alex’s. “Just...don’t be an asshole. That’s not like you.” 

“Yeah, I’m what they call a ‘good kid’.” Alex’s phone buzzes and before Alex can reach over and grab it, Sam’s eyes catch the text first. 

**[Lizzie]:** _I can meet you at yours, but I’m not leaving in the middle of the night. If you wanna fuck me then don’t act like nothing happened_

Alex does manage to grab her phone if only to send out a raincheck text with Sam’s eyes staring into her soul. Maybe Sam is too modest to talk about it. Maybe Sam didn’t really see what Lizzie said. “Lizzie? Seriously, Alex…”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried. Just confused. After last Saturday it seemed...you seemed like the last thing you wanted was to see her again.” Sam toys with her hair for a second, an elastic band being stretched compulsively allows Alex to look at something besides Sam’s eyes. “You can do better than her.”

“Maybe not.”

“Yeah right. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” 

“You might be the only one who thinks that.” Sam doesn’t entertain that thought. Instead, she looks around Alex’s room. Really looks. The photos above her desk - that Kara had decorated for her - stand out the most to Sam. Most of the pictures are from college with only two from her childhood. Each with Kara at her side. 

“That pie recipe is my mom’s, you know.”

“Yeah, Lois said,” Alex reminds her.

“I called and asked her for it. And the only thing she said was ‘make sure you follow the instructions, it needs to be good for Joshua.’” Sam rolls her eyes. “Can you believe that? Like one stupid pie can make or break it for us. Like all my worth depends on whether or not he thinks I’ll be a good housewife.”

“Fuck that.” 

Sam laughs. “Yeah, fuck that.” Sam holds a picture of Alex and Lucy after their first college game. Lucy has a broken nose and Alex is disgustingly sweaty but it’s one of Alex’s favorites. “Lucy’s wearing a cross in this picture.” 

“Oh, yeah, she...used to be more religious than she is now.” Alex thinks about it some more, "s he still goes to church sometimes, I think.”

“Are you religious?”

“Uh...no. My dad kinda was, my mom didn’t seem to give a fuck about religion until she started dating this guy...long story.” It’s an even longer story if Alex starts to talk about what a shitshow her coming out experience was. 

“I’m Catholic. Technically. I was fine about that when I was younger but then I watched this documentary that freaked me out and then I realized that I only ever believed in that stuff because my mom made me.” Sam sets the picture down. “So, now I’m thinking...what other things am I doing just because of the way I was raised?” 

“Like being polite.”

“I’m not polite. You think I’m polite ‘cause you haven’t pissed me off yet.”

“Sure, Ms. Midwesterner of the year.” 

“Is that actually how you see me? Because I’ve always felt like...a little bit of an outcast.”

“Because you’re a big old literature nerd?” Sam nudges Alex’s arm. “So, did becoming a cheerleader fix that for you? Is that what you wanted?”

“Kind of. I had trouble making friends when I was younger, now it’s easier. Classes, teams, parties...but it’s also really difficult to figure out what people’s intentions are.” That’s a pointed statement, verging on an accusation. Alex forces herself not to react. “I have this vision of myself, actually. Traveling the world, giving lectures, and taking a year-long sabbatical to travel more and write. I just can’t figure out if I’m doing the right things to make that happen.” Sam mulls that over for a moment. “I guess you’d find my idea of the future really boring. You’ll be a big soccer star, I guess.”

“We’ll see.”

“You want to go pro?” 

“It’s a possibility. It’s what I dreamed about growing up.” 

“But…?”

“I’ve got opportunities in other fields too. Stable fields like research which is what my mom wants me to consider.”  _ Consider _ is a nice word for it. Every time Alex steps foot into her house, Eliza reminds her how severe her injury was. How easily her career could end. Eliza wants stability for her children which is shocking considering just how quickly she shacked up after Jerimiah died. Alex eyes fall on her laptop again, where she’d been working only hours before. “What’s the deal with us? We can’t have a normal conversation, can we?”

“I don’t believe in normal.” Sam grins. “What do you wanna do instead? We can go back downstairs-.”

“No,” Alex replies far too quickly. “I mean...let’s stay up here.” Alex stands and rifles around in one of her desk drawers pulling out a tin container. “Want an edible?”

“Sure. As long as you promise me snacks.” 

“I’ve got plenty.” Alex goes for a chocolate blueberry edible while Sam sticks with an espresso one. They don’t bother with boundaries and pretense. They lay side by side fingers occasionally touching as they listen to the playlist that Alex created. Alex begins to drift, her cheeks warming as Sam nuzzles up closer to her. 

“Your heart’s racing,” Sam whispers. They’ve been laying here, doing and saying nothing for an hour. Getting lost in songs Alex has heard a million times. Sam has started to speak only once before, mumbling something about how warm it is, and Alex had clicked on her tiny little desk fan. 

Alex’s heart is racing but it mostly has to do with the fact that Sam has rolled over and draped her leg over Alex’s. It’s easy to lose all sense in the matter because they are so intimately close that they might as well be kissing. Sam so clearly despises Josh. A hint of jealousy bubbles in Alex’s chest. The sheer knowledge of Sam with Josh has caused some kind of cognitive dissonance deep within Alex. “Cause I feel like I’m floating.”

“Floating or falling.” 

“Both.” Alex has to practically pry Sam off her as she finds snacks for them to munch on. Thankfully, Vasquez and Lucy are nosy enough to interfere and they join them in Alex’s room bringing more food and a lot of dirty jokes about what Alex and Sam have been doing upstairs. Alex doesn't engage because the weed has rid her of all her charm and she might fuck up and admit genuine feelings which would probably put a damper on this whole night. 

It seems to be a ritual at this point. Every time Sam is within striking distance of Alex, they go on and express too much. They talk about their hopes and dreams and Alex is seriously starting to wonder what happens when all her walls come down. Lois, like the community mom that she often turns into, retrieves Sam at one in the morning. She insists that they will walk home together but when that gets vetoed by everyone - including Sam - Vasquez goes into their room, grabs their mattress, and turns Alex’s room into a giant slumber party. 

Alex is almost asleep when Lucy rolls over and kicks her in the shin. Everyone else has been knocked out for a few minutes and it takes Alex a moment to reorient herself. “What are you doing?” 

“Trying to sleep-.”

“With Sam, I mean.” Alex doesn’t want to have this conversation but Lucy is persistent. “You’re gonna fuck around and make her fall in love with you, you charming motherfucker.” 

“Shut up.” Alex shoves Lucy away playfully. 

“You two do look good together. I’ll give you that.” 

“Lucy, seriously, I don’t want her to hear anything.” Lucy nods her head but wiggles closer to Alex. 

“You played better with her there. It was like back then, you know. On the beach.” Lucy stops pestering Alex and relaxes at the thought of their shared past. “I never thought this game would feel like that again. Back when things were simple.” What Lucy really means is back when they were in the closet and didn’t have to face the pressures of their unrelenting families. Back when Jeremiah was alive and Lucy’s parents were still together. “We could use that side of you, that side of  _ us _ . We’d be fucking unstoppable, dude.” 

“You still want what we talked about in high school.” Alex props herself up on her elbow. “Gold, glory...the Olympics and World Cup.”

“Of course. Don’t you?”

“Yeah.” Alex closes her eyes. “I want it all.” 


	5. With You At My Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I had a super cute bubbly chapter to post today cause that would probably be a little more cheerful than this one but this is also one of my favorite chapters that I've written, so there's that...
> 
> TW: outing, implications of transphobia

It’s a completely normal day which should be the thing that helps Sam realize that something is going to go wrong. She isn’t a doomsday watcher. Sam is typically optimistic with a hint of worry that comes with the territory of being a college cheerleader. Plenty of drama to go around, mostly revolving around hookups, but Sam usually stays out of it. This is why, when she comes back from class - a class where Alex had been particularly charming and sweet - she finds herself frantically running through the apartment when she hears crying coming from Nia’s room. 

Sam literally drops everything at the door. She hadn’t known Nia for long but Sam would probably kill for her. When Sam whips around the corner in the hallway she nearly collides with Winn who is sitting directly outside of Nia’s door with a worried expression on his face. “Nia, we can’t help you if you don’t talk to us about what’s going on.” 

“ _We_? Who else is there?”

“I’m here, Nia. It’s Sam.” Sam has a million questions but she can’t ask them now. She just has to trust that Winn has done everything he can to support their crying roommate. “Did someone...hurt you?” It’s the first thing that comes to her mind. Unfortunately, their idyllic little beach town school had plenty of assault cases. Sam knew about them. Heard the rumors through the well-connected grapevine of cheerleader’s mouths. 

“No.” Sam can hear a tissue being snatched out of a box from inside Nia’s room. Winn looks to Sam for guidance. 

“Nia, if you want to be alone, that’s okay, but can we come in for a second? We just want to see you.” There’s a long moment of silence. It makes Sam’s heart race. The fear and uncertainty are almost too much. Then Nia opens the door and that gentle respite washes over Winn and Sam’s face. Nia doesn’t look hurt physically, but her emotions have drained her and now she looks almost childlike, huddled with a blanket wrapped over her shoulders. 

Winn and Sam enter the room slowly, unsure if their presence is wanted. Winn sits at Nia’s desk acutely aware that if someone had hurt her - assaulted her maybe - then his presence as a man might be jarring. Sam isn’t as willing to sink into the background. She doesn’t know what to say or how to start, but Nia latches onto her like a Koala suddenly. Squeezing her so tight that Sam actually struggles to breathe for a second before settling into her arms. “Oh, Nia, it’s okay.” Which is a stupid thing to say but it seems to help and calm Nia down a bit. 

Nia releases Sam but pulls her over to her bed so she has someone to lean on. “Can we do anything to help?” Winn asks. He has never been this demure but the soft approach leaves room for Nia to broaden her shoulders and finally find her voice. 

“So...I’m in class. Art history, it’s actually my favorite class too. Professor Wilson takes attendance like he has done for the past two weeks, only today...he calls me this name.” Nia covers her face. “My fucking dead name. In front of everyone.” Nia rubs her eyes and grabs another tissue. “He apologized and said it was something wrong with the system which made me realize that I should check my email to make sure everything was fine. But it’s not fine because my email has my fucking dead name too.” Sam is out of her depth but Winn seems to perfectly understand what’s going on. 

“We can fix this,” Winn asserts confidently. “I promise we can fix this.” With the way Winn says it, Sam believes him. “Give me a second, I need to go find someone.” 

“Okay.” Nia wraps the blanket around herself tighter. “Sam, can you stay with me?”

“Of course, I will,” Sam assures Nia. Winn heads into his room to grab his phone and he heads out of the front door in a hurry. Sam, still very confused and concerned, keeps her arm around Nia’s shoulder. “Can you explain this ‘dead name’ thing? You don’t have to. Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that I have a computer and I can obviously look it up-.”

“I don’t mind.” Nia shuffles over to her electric tea kettle and sets it up quickly, setting two cups and tea bags aside. “I’m trans. Did you know that?” Sam did not know that. She isn’t certain that Nia would’ve ever said anything one way or the other and it hurts to know that these are the circumstances that have pressured her into coming out. “I have a name that was given to me at birth. It’s…” Nia chuckles for a second. “Seriously such a bad name.”

“Nia, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Is that why you moved in with us? Because the school was giving you a hard time?”

“Kind of. I’ve known Winn for a while and there is gender-neutral housing but...I felt more comfortable here.” Nia starts preparing the tea calmly, mixing milk and honey which work perfectly with the peach tea aroma that’s dancing around the room. “Things were going really well here, too. I didn’t exactly have that same experience in high school.” 

“That must’ve been really hard.” Sam’s words feel empty but she does mean them. “Identity is hard.”

“Tell me about it.” Nia sets the mugs down on a little fold-out table that they share. "No, really, you can talk to me about it."

“I’d never thought about it actually. I mean, just because I’ve only dated guys that doesn’t mean that I’m straight.” What it means is still somewhat of a mystery for Sam. “I mean...there are a few girls that I... _one_ girl that makes me feel different.”

“There’s no one way to be anything.”

“The thing is...I only ever started thinking about all this because of... _Alex_.” Nia nods like she knows this information already. 

“The soccer team is like some kind of gorgeous mirage. They’re all like...stupidly attractive.” Nia has relaxed significantly since Sam came into the room. Nia seems to have enough faith in Winn to trust whatever he’s doing and focusing on Sam’s identity seems like a welcome distraction. “What were you two doing by the way? In the hotel room…”

“Nothing. I swear.” 

“I have a question for you.”

“Sounds...not scary at all.” 

“Are you just staying with Josh because you’re afraid that Alex won’t commit to you or something? Like a serial monogamist?” Nia has read her like a book. Sam tries not to blush. 

“It’s not about committing. Josh is safe, Alex is...well, I’ve never been with a woman. I don’t know what she wants and by the time we get around to maybe figuring it out...she’ll probably have moved onto someone more interesting.” Insecurity is rearing its ugly head, like always. 

“Would you want to be with her? As in...a couple?”

“This is all hypothetical anyway.”

“Sure. Would you though?” Nia is practically on the edge of her seat. Sam feels more woozy than sane right now and is thankful for the interruption that the apartment door opening provides. It’s Winn but she can’t make out the other voices until Vasquez and Alex stick their heads into the room. “Hey, guys.”

“Hey,” Vasquez says as they wave their hand awkwardly. Alex offers a nod. They both remain at the door while Winn enters and sits at Nia’s desk again. “So...Winn explained what happened. Total bummer but…” Vasquez points between themselves and Alex. “We can help.”

“It’s going to be a little bit of a process but I promise it’ll all work out.” Alex is very comforting and just those words of reassurance spark a smile from Nia. “Is this your computer?” Alex says pointing at the PC on Nia’s desk.

“Yeah.”

“Can I use it? I need to write a few emails.” Nia stands and goes over to enter her password. Alex and Winn trade places. “Oh my god, is that your dog?” Alex asks, gushing at Nia’s background which is a labradoodle.

“That’s Kronk,” Nia says with a laugh. “Thank you guys so much for helping me. I know you probably have other things to do-.”

“This is more important,” Vasquez says without hesitation. “Come on, let’s go and grab a coffee or something.”

“Don’t you need help here, Alex?” 

“Nope. I’ve got this.” Alex’s confidence in this situation is astonishing. Vasquez holds out their hand and Nia takes it with a smile as they head out and into the living room where shoes are put on before they depart. Winn sighs and fist bumps Sam. 

“Thank god you showed up. I was sitting outside of her room for like an hour,” Winn explains as Alex types away on Nia’s computer.

“Why does it look like you know exactly what to do?” Sam asks them.

“This ain’t our first rodeo,” Alex says with a smirk. “This school’s got plenty of bullshit rules, but there are ways around them.”

“Now that you’ve got this under control, I need to get to my class. I’ll text Lois and explain what’s going on, when Nia comes back it’d be nice if one of you was here.” Winn doesn’t really wait for a response, he knows that Sam is responsible enough to take this on. 

Soon it’s just Alex and Sam in the room, again. Which seems to be the running theme of their relationship. At least, Alex is preoccupied, so Sam can watch her as she works. Though only her fingers are moving, Sam can still see the definition in Alex’s arms. Her hair is finger-combed like always but it looks softer like it’s just been washed. She’s wearing a National City sports team t-shirt and shorts that look more like swim trunks than anything else. Alex is totally focused which is why Sam finds herself restless after a while. Questions bubble at the back of her throat until she has to say something. “Is there anything I can do?” Alex looks up from the laptop, blinks a few times, and looks over her shoulder at Sam.

“Nah, you’re good.”

“I want to help, I should be doing something.”

“You did lots. Winn said you were perfect earlier, which isn’t easy in a situation like this.” Alex sends one last email before closing Nia’s laptop. “The administration is gonna make a big fucking deal out of this, but Nia can have an advocate with her.”

“How do you know all this?” 

“Vasquez. There was a whole thing.” Alex crosses her ankle over her knee. 

“You swooped in here like some kind of Nike-clad superhero.” That makes Alex smile and brings a little color to her cheeks. “I owe you.” Alex’s eyes light up just slightly. “Let me take you somewhere.”

“Where?”

“You’re no fun.” Alex doesn’t like being challenged but Sam is almost certain that there’s a real impulsive streak worth uncovering if she wants to try. Instead, Sam scurries off to her room, grabs her bag, a key, and her journal and heads back into Nia’s room where Alex is waiting expectantly. “Let’s go.”

“God, you’re weird,” Alex mutters as Sam briskly leads them out of her apartment and toward the main quad. Alex is practically slouching, clearly nervous or, at least, too curious for her own good. 

“Thank you.” Sam makes a sharp left and walks down a winding path that leads right to the-.

“Library. You’re taking me to the library?” Alex looks like she might hurl. Sam motions her to continue forward and she follows very reluctantly. “I’ve been here before, I’m not a total airhead.” 

“From what I hear, you’re actually pretty brilliant.” The compliment goes mostly unnoticed because Alex has now fixed her gaze on the unorthodox route they're taking through the building. They go right past the fiction section, the research desks, the group study rooms, and down another corridor. Alex has gone from utter confusion to a true sense of adventure. 

“Shit, did you find a dead body in this place or something? I’ve seen every episode of Law and Order, I’m totally ready to solve the case if you need me.” Sam stifles her laughter as they round one last corner and land at the Rare Collections and Materials Vault. Sam pulls out her key and opens the door to the collection. 

Alex follows in revered silence. 

_She looks cute_ , Sam thinks. Like a kid in a candy shop. A candy shop filled with musty books and old antiques protected by glass. The room is cold enough to keep everything safe and Alex sticks her hands into her pocket as she leans close to a glass case that contains a dagger. “Fuck...dude.” They are alone. Ms. Maddox is probably at home in her greenhouse and because it’s so early in the year, most scholars haven’t signed up for a time to explore this place yet. Sam has had a key to this vault - which is just a fancy name for the large collection in the basement of the library - for two years. “How’d you get a key to this place?”

“I worked here last summer. Me and the lady who runs it are tight.” Alex looks impressed, which is more than Sam can say for everyone else she’s told. Alex moves on from the dagger to a row of beautifully hand-bound books. “There are really cool collections here. Including some journals from students in the early 1900s.” 

“No shit? That's cool as hell.” 

“I can show you. If you want?” 

“Definitely.” Sam knows the way. Up around a spiral staircase and onto the second level which contains two little reading nooks and a larger collection of books than the first floor. Sam had read a few of the journals on her own. One, in particular, was a collection of a vulgar series of sexual escapades which would certainly intrigue Alex. Sam leads them to a tiny room which is nothing more than a sink and she washes her hands. “Shouldn’t we have gloves or something?” 

“Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Alex follows suit and they travel down the hall where Sam grabs two journals and places them gently on a delicate clean surface in the first nook. “Should I open this? You do it for me.” 

“Okay. Wimp.” Sam carefully opens the book revealing the first date that the author recorded. January 16th, 1906. The journal entry is brief but telling. The author has just returned to campus and they’ve forgotten to pack the proper clothes for a special dinner at their professor’s house. 

“Relatable,” Alex says as she carefully turns to the next page. “You like this stuff, huh?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I bet you wish everyone had one of these. Small accounts of their days, hopes, wishes...maybe they could hand it to you right when you met them. Then you could decide who you’d actually want to spend time with.” The journal has become more about the author and their infatuation with a new student. One who bullies the author and it has caused a few problems with their studies. “I wouldn’t mind that either.” 

“Do you think that if you really set your mind to it, you’d actually be willing to write everything down. All your deepest thoughts. Dark things too.” 

“Dark things?” 

“Like...I dunno. One time I cheated on a test because I’d been too hungover to study the night before.” 

“Hm.” Alex looks up from the journal. “I ran over a squirrel with my bike once. Don’t ever tell Kara, she’d freak. It was gross...and sad.” Alex leans against the bench they’re sharing. “I’m telling you this stuff, though. So I guess a journal wouldn’t work for me. Maybe I just need someone I can trust.” 

“You trust me?”

“I’m in an underground rare book vault with a dagger only a few feet away.” Alex grins. “Of course I trust you.” Vasquez texts Alex and tells her that they will keep Nia company. So, while they’re left to their own devices, Sam gives Alex a tour of the rest of the vault. Sam explains how color was used in early texts. She talks about the bible and how and why certain language was used. They briefly discuss their favorite childhood books - which happen to be _Goodnight Moon_ for the both of them - and then there’s more reading and learning. Alex explains why books smell terrible and Sam holds up a first edition 1730s novel and forces Alex to smell it until she agrees that it is certainly distinguishable. 

It’s the most fun that Sam has had since she’s gotten back to school and it’s no surprise that it’s with Alex. 

When Sam is locking up, Alex reaches forward and tucks a stray strand of hair behind Sam’s ear. It’s such a natural movement but one that seems to change things. A gesture of care can only go so far but with the aided implications that they trust each other, this seems like the very beginning of something grand. 

But it isn’t grand.

Alex walks with Sam halfway back to her apartment before she gets a text and says that she has to hurry off back to her room. It could be Lizzie, Sam thinks but pushes down those unwarranted feelings of jealousy. It isn’t fair for her to feel like that, Alex can do whatever - _and_ whoever - she wants. Sam’s heart sinks when she returns to an empty apartment. Winn is still in class. Lois is in Clark’s room. And Nia, after her terribly rough day, is still spending time with Vasquez.

Being alone immediately overworks Sam’s mind. At least twice she considers calling Josh to break up or have sex or both. She’s bored and tired. Her life has been nothing but chaos since she came back and it’s starting to weigh on her. Just when Sam is turning in for the night she gets a text. 

**[Alex]:** _Did you know there’s a rare book store that’s like 30 minutes away?_

**[Sam]:** _Yes! I’ve always wanted to go_

**[Alex]:** _then let’s go some time. I’ll bet it smells rank_ >_<

**[Sam]:** _you don’t have to go if you’ll be miserable…_

**[Alex]:** _can’t be miserable with you at my side. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow_ :)

Sam dreams of spiral staircases and never-ending bookshelves. Of picnics on the beach. Of a surfer off in the distance riding the early morning waves. Sam wakes up feeling weightless. Her mind is scattered and she nearly misses a small post-it note on her journal that she’d had in the library the previous day. 

On it, there’s a tiny stick figure juggling pom-poms and books while a stick figure - with giant biceps - kicks a soccer ball into the tangle of juggling elements. It makes Sam grin so wide that she doesn’t even care that she’s woken up an hour before her alarm. She tapes the drawing into the front page of her journal so she can see it every time she opens it. 

* * *

Today is not a good day. Alex screws up something in her chemistry lab and it takes her so long to fix it that she’s two minutes late for practice. Coach Grant is livid and she shows it by putting Alex on the weakest team during their scrimmage and punishing the losers with drill after drill. By the time Alex actually wins a ball and scores she’s too exhausted to celebrate and her leg is sore enough to cause some concern. “Danvers, how’s the leg?” Coach asks with her whistle dangling out of her mouth. 

“Fine.” 

“Could you run a marathon on it?”

“No.” 

“Get some ice.” It’s the right thing to do but it makes Alex feel weak. She has to practically drag herself into the trainer’s room and even then she has to wait for a few football players to clear out before she can find a place to sit down. She takes the cot next to Nia who is icing her ankle. “What happened?” 

“I screwed up a backflip. No big deal.” Nia waves her off. Unfortunately, for both of them, Josh and some of his lackeys are hanging around nursing minor injuries of their own. Alex has yet to acknowledge them and she doesn’t plan on it, until Joshslithers his way over and gives her a little nod. 

“‘Sup.” Alex has no idea how to interact with this guy. Each time seems to end in some kind of argument and without Sam as a buffer things aren’t looking great. 

“Hi.” Joshplops down on a cot, a few of his teammates hang around but, at least, Alex doesn’t have to sit through unnecessary introductions. 

“Did you score last weekend?” 

“Yeah. Siobhan did too-.”

“I meant... _score_.” Josh looks rather pleased with himself. Alex rolls her eyes. “What about her?” He nods over at Nia who has tried her best to look invisible. “You hitting that or what, Danvers?” 

“Shut the fuck up. Seriously, don’t speak about her like that.” Josh keeps his stupid cocky little smile on his face. “What’s your problem?” 

“No problem.” Josh looks over at his friends like he’s hoping he still has an audience. “What about Lena Luthor? I heard she’s gay-.” Alex jumps to her feet and shoves Joshbackwards. He nearly falls but one of his teammates grabs him and holds him back. 

Nia actually jolts forward and grabs Alex’s arm to keep her from doing anything stupid. Alex is so heated but she somehow takes the high road and storms out of the room without punching a hole in Josh’s face. “What the fuck is wrong with that guy?” 

“Jesus, I thought he was gonna hit you.” Nia grabs Alex’s arm again. “You need to slow down.” 

“He just outed Lena.” From the look on Nia’s face, this is news. “She’s only out to a few people. I need to go and talk to her.” 

“I’ll come with you.” 

“You don’t have to-.”

“I don’t mind,” Nia assures Alex. They each go to their locker rooms and gather their things before meeting at the water fountains near the athletic building entrance. Alex has never been to Lena and Jack’s apartment and it’s a long haul to get there on foot. Nia’s too terrified of riding on a motorcycle so they walk across campus, lugging their bags over their shoulders. “I have my meeting with the administration tomorrow.” 

“That soon?”

“Yeah.” They wait for a light to turn red so they can cross the street. “Vasquez thinks that the administration is going to bully me about the whole thing just because I’m a freshman.” 

“We won’t let that happen.” 

“I know.” They approach Lena’s building apprehensively. It’s bordering on daunting. It’s rich kid central and neither of them really fit into that crowd. “Josh really gets under your skin, huh?”

“A little.” Alex is proud that she actually remembers which apartment Lena and Jack live in - granted it’s only because Winn made her watch one of Jack’s unpacking videos and she could see the number 208 on the door. Alex presses the buzzer. 

“Who is it?”Jack says over the intercom. 

“Alex and Nia.”

“That’s not suspicious at all. Bring your cute selves up!” Jack buzzes them in and Alex is immediately blown away by how nice the interior is. It looks like a museum and even the elevator has sleek futuristic buttons that make Alex and Nia raise their eyebrows at each other. 

Jack swings open the door before they even reach the apartment. He’s overdressed like always - a white turtleneck tucked into navy pants - but at least he’s wearing normal looking slippers. Lena is there too, which is the main point. Lena looks up with a small smile, friendly but still distant. 

It’s all a little awkward at first. Jack busies himself with getting sparkling water for them and Nia props herself on the couch next to Lena which leaves Alex standing in the middle of the room. “Uh...hi. Is this a good time?” 

“For what?” Lena asks. She has a few books sprawled across the coffee table, glasses - that Alex has never seen her wear - perched on her nose. 

“I need to talk to you.” Alex decides that she needs to just come out with it. The news won’t be any better no matter how she bookends it. “So...Nia and I were in the training room.”

“This sounds like the start of a porno. Please continue.” Jack says from the kitchen. 

“It’s…” Alex takes the glass from Jack but doesn’t take a sip. “Josh was being a dick, is the point.” Jack takes a seat in a chair, now looking a lot more serious than before. “He made a comment about you being gay.” Jack audibly gasps, Lena looks as startled as Jack sounds. “I don’t know who heard. I don’t know if that’s the first time he’s ever said anything about it. You’re still in the closet right?” 

“Yeah.” Lena’s hand shoots to her phone and she dials someone’s number. Lena stands, abruptly, and heads toward the kitchen. She looks so terrified and upset that Alex almost follows her. “Sam, can you come over here...yes, now...okay.” Lena hangs up and throws her phone so hard across the room that it cracks the drywall. 

Lena disappears into her room with a loud _SLAM_ of her door and Jack, Nia, and Alex are left to wait there. Jack looks between Nia and Alex. “You guys should maybe go. This could get ugly.”

“Why? Sam didn’t do anything.” Nia says. 

“How else would Josh know?” It’s a good point and one that must’ve been the force behind Lena destroying their wall. Alex feels like she’s right in the middle of this mess. If Nia wasn’t there she might actually make a break for it but, for now, Alex is stuck drinking sparkling water and waiting for Sam to arrive. Sam doesn’t buzz her way up. Instead, she must’ve come right when someone was opening the door to the apartment building because a knock at the door is the only thing that alerts them to her presence. 

Jack rushes over to meet Sam before she walks right into the eye of the storm. She takes in whatever Jack is saying slowly and her eyes widen just slightly when she sees Alex and Nia sitting there. “Alex, what happened?”

“Your boyfriend outed Lena.” Alex bites her cheek. “Did you tell him about her?”

“Of course not.” Sam looks offended. Alex holds her ground. “Is that what you told Lena? What the fuck, Alex?” 

“I’m not the one dating that piece of human garbage. I didn’t do shit, talk to Lena.” It’s the closest they’ve ever come to arguing. It’s heated in a way that only they can understand. Jack and Nia are at the fringes of the room, clutching their glasses as though that’ll protect them. Sam’s eyes go to the wall. 

“Did you do that?”

“Yeah, _I’m_ the one that’s outta control. Sure. Make things right with Lena, please.” Sam takes a deep breath before hurrying to Lena’s room, knocks and walks in without waiting for a response. She closes the door behind her. “Fuck,” Alex mutters as she returns to a seat. 

Jack has never been this quiet in his entire life. He stares straight ahead, “If Lena’s mom finds out, she’ll cut her off. She won’t be able to finish school.” This is hitting far too close to home. Alex is reminded of her current situation and it makes her want to actually throw things at walls. Scream too. But she remains silent as she waits, for what seems like forever, for Sam and Lena to come out of the room. 

Lena’s room isn’t soundproof. From what Alex can hear there are a lot of accusations. A lot of yelling on Lena’s side, totally unrefined in a way that seems foreign for someone so poised. Sam’s voice is softer but insistent. After ten minutes of waiting and listening, Sam and Lena come out of the bedroom both hastily wiping tears from their eyes. 

Sam beelines it for Jack, immediately. “I need you to come with me.” 

“Where?” Jack looks over Sam’s shoulder at Lena. 

“I just need you, okay.” Jack nods and goes to grab his shoes. Lena picks up her phone off the ground and runs her fingers along the crack in the wall. She looks disturbed but there’s something else there. Alex can sense it. Perhaps a new understanding of her own strength, which is something she might need. “Nia, Alex...you should go. I’m handling this.” 

“Sure.” Alex refuses to be told twice. She grabs her bag and heads right for the door, down the elevator, and outside. It takes her until she’s nearly down the road to realize that she should probably wait for Nia, which she does awkwardly. “Sorry,” Alex says when Nia finally catches up. “I don’t get what Sam’s problem is. Lena has every right to be mad.” 

“I’m telling you, Sam would not tell Josh that. She’s upset because you don’t believe her.” 

“Who cares what I think?”

“She does, obviously.” Nia starts walking toward the athletic building rather than her apartment, Alex slowly follows. “All this walking has fucked my ankle. Again. Do you mind if I finish icing it?”

“I don’t mind.” Alex looks over at the empty soccer field as they walk past it. “Do you mind icing it outside?” Alex shows Nia how to properly wrap her ankle and ice it so that it's comfortable to prop up. After declining to be carried outside, Nia finds a comfortable spot on the bench while Alex kicks a soccer ball around on the empty field. Alex practices the tricks she rarely does in games. She flips the ball over her shoulder and juggles it a few times before dribbling around the bench Nia is sitting on. “So...you’re from Jersey, right? Grew up with Winnie?”

“Yeah. But my family moved there when I was in sixth grade.” 

“Did you want to move?” 

“Kind of. My parents were always really supportive of me and they wanted me to go to a safer - well, more progressive - school.” Nia rotates the ice to the other side of her ankle. “High school’s such a weird time. You’re from Midvale, right? Do a lot of people from your high school go here?”

“Surprisingly, no. Thank god.”

“Bad break up, huh?” 

“Uh...kinda. My best friend and I sometimes kissed or whatever. It was all fine until my dad caught us.” Alex can still feel the way Vicki jumped away from her. She can still see the look on Jerimiah’s face as Vicki sprinted out of Alex’s room. “He never told my mom but she knew when he was keeping stuff from her, so...they argued more and more.” Alex punts the ball across the field and sits down beside Nia. “I was outed in college, actually.”

“God, Alex I’m so sorry.” 

“It needed to happen. Probably not in the exact way that it did but...I’m better off knowing what my mom really thinks of me.”

“If you need a surrogate mom, my mom is coming for Parents’ Weekend and she’s an actual chef, so...free meal on the us.” Nia holds out her pinky and Alex takes it with her own. “What do you think is gonna happen?” 

“With?”

“Sam. Josh. Them together.” 

“I’m not sure. I guess, she’ll talk to him.” Alex wonders how that conversation will go. Probably not like the one Sam just had with Lena. Probably loud and angrier. At least Jack will be nearby if anything goes wrong. “I don’t get their history. When Sam talks about him, it’s like...she wants it to be over. Like she wants to be with someone else, someone like…” 

“She’s happier when she’s around people she actually likes.” 

“Aren’t we all.” Alex jogs over to grab her ball. And then she and Nia go through the routine of throwing away the ice bag, gathering their things, and setting off again. Alex thinks very strongly about leaving Nia on her own so that she can return to the soccer house. But Alex has ignored one too many texts from teammates and that would open her up to more questions than she wanted right now. The last thing Alex wants is to run into Sam again, so she decides - with a sense of finality - that she’ll walk Nia only to her apartment building and go into town for dinner on her own. 

There’s always the option that things will go terribly wrong. Finding Sam, Clark, and Jack standing there near the entrance of the building isn’t the most surprising thing in the world. Clark has an arm around Sam’s shoulder and he seems to be comforting her. Jack spots them immediately and because running is no longer an option, Alex walks Nia over to them apprehensively. “You okay?” It isn’t the most caring thing she can say but Alex knows that she has to say something. It’s difficult enough knowing just how easily they could’ve both ruined their tentative friendship today. A few more well-placed words and Alex might not have ever been able to speak to Sam again.

“It’s been a shitty day,” Sam responds leaving plenty of room for Alex to dive in. Alex hesitates and that’s enough for Clark to start to lead everyone upstairs. “Are you coming?” Alex realizes that she hasn’t moved and she doesn’t plan to either.

“I’m...I’ve got some stuff to do.” If Sam is hurt, she covers it well. Alex doesn’t wait around to see if there are any lingering looks. Alex goes to her house, grabs her bike, and drives to a tiny little dive to eat a greasy dinner alone.

* * *

Alex doesn’t know how two insanely important games end up so close together this season. What she does know is that skipping one class isn’t going to ruin her life and avoiding Sam is only half the reason. She needs a break. A moment where she isn’t thinking about soccer or school or one - beautiful, annoying - girl. 

Alex lays in her bed. She keeps her phone on silent. She cleans her desk and then her floor. She does a load of laundry. She straps her captain's band around her arm and wonders if there’s anything more she can do to get stronger. She does 25 push-ups and then drinks a beer that Vasquez had bought her earlier that week. It tastes better than she thought it might.

Alex does everything she can not to read her book from class. It would probably remind her too much of Sam and she can’t have that. 

Three hours into playing hooky and there’s a knock at her door. Alex swings it open thinking it’s Lucy coming to ask her what she plans on eating for lunch.

It’s Sam. She looks frazzled and frustrated. She’s wearing this forest green shirt that’s tucked into her high-waisted jeans and all Alex can think about is how adorable the brown belt Sam is wearing is. Alex thinks about unhooking it and tugging it off. She thinks about taking off the rest of Sam’s outfit too.

Somehow, all of that tension and anger has morphed into this insatiable lust and Alex knows, for sure, that this is more than just an average crush because Sam has completely warped Alex’s feelings to the point of bewilderment. “You’re not sick.”

“What?” 

Sam brushes by Alex and unzips the bag that’s slung over her shoulder and pulls out a stack of papers. “I was told you were sick. I guess you lied in whatever elaborate email you sent to our professor.”

“Oh...yeah.” Alex looks at the papers while Sam looks around the room. It’s mostly clean save for the unfolded laundry and the half-drunk beer that's sitting in a Midvale Blue Devils cozy. “I’m sorry you walked over here. I would’ve swung by and-.”

“I texted you, actually.” 

“Shit, my phone was…” Alex picks up her phone and notes three unopened text messages from Sam. “You came anyway.”

“I’m not gonna let you screw up this class. Just because you’re...day drinking or whatever.”

“I was...you know what? Never mind.”

“So that’s it? This is how it’s going to be from now on?” Sam’s lip quivers ever so slightly. Alex leans back against her desk. “What you said yesterday. That thing about...like I would ever... _out_ Lena-.”

“I didn’t know. The situation was fucked, okay.”

“She’s my best friend. I would never hurt her and if you knew me at all-.”

“I don’t,” Alex snaps. “I don’t know you. Because there’s this one version of you that’s cool and funny and nerdy. And then there’s... _this person._ The one who spent three years dating a guy who would out someone for no reason. He wanted to get a rise out of me.” Alex wishes Sam had been there, so she could understand just how horrible Josh had been. “He asked me if Nia and I were...and then when that didn’t work, he said something about Lena.”

“Are you?”

“Am I what?” Alex scoffs. “Sleeping with Nia? Are you out of your fucking mind-?”

“Like it’s so far fetched? You were with her a lot yesterday. You fixed everything with the administration for her.”

“I was being nice! Jesus.” This is so unlike Sam. She normally has finesse. She’s normally kind and thoughtful, not pointed and ferocious. “ _This_ is what I mean. You’re not like this. Ever.”

“You’d like that, huh? Some version of me that's soft and easy and all yours-.”

“Don’t make this conversation something it’s not.” Alex grabs the papers and shoves them into her desk drawer. “I’m sorry about what I said yesterday. Thanks for bringing my shit from class, but you can go.” The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Sam looks as though she might crack and offer up more but she doesn’t. 

“Danvers, we gotta go to practice early to…” Lucy trails off when she sees Sam standing there. “Oh, my bad. Is everything...okay?”

“Yep,” Sam replies before practically flying out of the room.

Lucy throws her duffel bag at Alex and snaps her fingers. “No time to cry over whatever that was, we gotta get ready for more important things. Or have you forgotten who we’re playing on Saturday?” Alex hasn’t forgotten and that’s probably what makes this more complicated. They have to win otherwise all the turmoil from last year will have been for nothing. All the restless nights and screaming at Eliza will be in vain.

Saturday is about revenge and redemption and Alex sure as hell won’t let Sam get in the way of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone doing? Last week I tried to convince one of my cats that his name was Pepperoni and I watched an episode of Glee last week if that's any indication of how unhinged I'm becoming. 
> 
> What is something that you all are doing for self-care?


	6. Do you want to...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of sexual assault

It doesn’t take very long for Sam to realize that Alex isn’t playing well at practice. She’s slower than usual and shots that normally fall in easily, ricochet off the crossbar or sail far left. Alex and Lucy aren’t on the same page either. Their passes are too far or too short and it throws the entire team off balance. Sam can’t hear what Coach Grant is saying but it clearly isn’t good. She’s a tiny woman but she gets right in Alex and Lucy’s faces before sending them off to run around the field on their own. 

Sam doesn’t have time to think about it. Most of her brain capacity is focused on learning two new cheers. It isn’t exactly a shock that they’ll be cheering at Saturday’s soccer game either. They’d done well at the away game and plenty of fans seemed to think so. Jack and Kara had created a very compelling video and article saying as much and the school would be stupid not to follow through and see for themselves. Sam doesn’t feel like cheering which is probably obvious based on the look Nia gives her when they take a water break. “Alex is playing like shit.”

“Yeah.” Sam looks over at the field where Alex and Lucy are still running. “Probably not looking too good for Saturday.” 

“Shame though, right? I bet Lena getting outed like that probably triggered her.” Nia gulps down some water and digs around her bag for her workout towel. 

“What’s that mean?”

“Hm?” Nia clams up. “Oh...nothing, sorry…I thought you knew.”

“Alex was outed?” Sam questions. Nia looks like she might walk away at any second, so Sam adds, “By who? When?”

“I’m sorry I said anything. I assumed you knew.” Nia is practically squirming at this point. “I think Alex is really good at pretending everything is okay.” Sam looks at the field again. Sees the way Alex and Lucy are keeping pace with each other. Sweating through their shirts, bone-tired, but never giving up. 

Sam decides to take that as a sign. Her anger has long subsided in two days and now the only thing she feels is guilty. She’d been so selfish this whole time. 

“Arias, ready to learn this new kick-ass goal celebration or what?” Winn asks from where he’s standing in front of the rest of the squad. Sam snaps out of it and joins everyone else. She tries to remain as focused as possible. 

As soon as practice is over, Sam sprints to the exit of the women’s locker room. In an attempt not to look like the biggest creep on the planet, Sam plays a game on her phone while she waits for Alex to emerge from the locker room. “Yo, Sam, what’s up?” Lucy says as she approaches. 

“Oh, nothing...I…” Sam knows that Lucy probably has her own opinion about Alex and Sam’s friendship. Storming out of Alex’s room two days prior probably didn’t help things either. Sam is too afraid to admit the truth, so she improvises, “I wanted your help, actually.” 

“Me? With what?” 

“I hear you’re really good at building things and I...I have this new IKEA shelf that I want to put up in my room.” It isn’t exactly a lie but with the way Lucy’s eyes light up, Sam is thrilled that she’s actually managed to pull it off. 

“You had me at IKEA.” Lucy wraps her arm around Sam’s shoulders and they start for Sam’s apartment. Sam catches a glimpse of Alex behind them. She’s walking with Vasquez and Leslie and they’re laughing about something ridiculous Leslie has just said. Sam has officially missed her chance, so she’ll have to settle for watching Lucy - a perfectionist in her own right - build a small shelf in her room for the next hour. 

Lucy seems happy enough to do it and she’s great company. In some ways, Lucy is the polar opposite of Lois. Lucy has a much more casual demeanor and she can live in subtext rather than the straightforward way Lois sometimes comes across. From watching a bunch of practices and a few games, Sam thinks she has an idea of Lucy’s temperament on the field too. She’s the kind of player that can get under anyone’s skin. She has something to say and she isn’t afraid to throw her body around. Small but deadly. “Are you ready for Saturday’s game?”

“Uh...yeah. I think. Coach was being kinda tough today.” 

“I saw you and Alex running,” Sam remarks from where she’s perched at her desk. Lucy is on the floor with tools, directions, and wood sprawled around her. “Pretty harsh punishment.”

“Grant doesn’t give a fuck. All that shit was Alex’s fault though. Her mind was somewhere else.” Lucy stops working for a moment and looks at Sam pointedly. “Obviously.” 

“Would you do me a favor?” 

“Aren’t I already doing that?” Lucy motions to the half-constructed shelf. 

“Could you...text her. Alex. Please. I would myself, but she’s…” Sam sighs. “I owe her an apology and I don’t want that to get in the way of you guys winning.” Lucy thinks it over before she pulls out her phone and shoots off a quick text. “Thank you.” 

“I told her that there’s gonna be food so...you should order something before she gets here.” Lucy sets her tools down and climbs to her feet. “I’ll finish this once I have pad thai in my hands.” Lucy jabs her thumb toward the door, “I’ll be doing my best impression of a deadbeat dad out there if you need me.” 

Sam wastes no time ordering food for Alex and Lucy. The last thing she wants is two star athletes mad at her. 

After about ten minutes, Sam hears Lucy talking to Alex in the living room. The conversation is brief and Sam wonders if she should go out there and plead her case, but Alex walks into her room mere moments later. Alex doesn’t look annoyed or angry. She doesn’t look like she feels anything which is almost worse. “Hey, I…” Sam kicks the tools and wood aside and offers her desk chair to Alex. Once Alex is seated, Sam starts to lose her nerve. An apology doesn’t seem like enough in this situation. “I needed to talk to you.” 

“You didn’t have to come up with an elaborate scheme. You could’ve asked.”

“I know.” The $40 worth of food Sam has just ordered will have to be a bonus then. “I wanted to apologize for the way I acted. When I brought your homework and before then too. I didn’t…” Sam shuts her mouth. She doesn’t know how to bring this up. 

“I guess Nia told you I was outed.”

“That was an accident. Don’t be upset with her.”

“I’m not.” Alex shrugs. “But now you know why it was so hard to separate myself from the situation.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“It was...fucking bullshit.” Alex rests her arm on the back of the chair. “This girl on the other team, the same one we play on Saturday, found out that I was gay and kept making these stupid comments during the game. It bothered me but not enough to stop us from winning. And then...after the game, she yelled something right in front of my mom.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. I was gonna deny it but...what was the point?” Alex runs her fingers through her hair. “My mom went crazy. I didn’t talk to her for a few months. Kara helped mend things a little bit but...Eliza doesn’t help me pay for school anymore.” Alex looks like she’s been dealing with this so much that it doesn’t phase her like it should. “I have to win on Saturday. Now you know why.”

“You’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself.”

“I tend to do that.”

“Don’t overthink it. You’re better when you play free.” Sam isn’t sure that all is forgiven but Alex’s wonderful smile is back and she doesn’t feel such a heavy burden anymore. 

“So…” Alex points to Sam’s messy floor. “Need help with that?” 

“Actually, yes. But you don’t have to…” Sam trails off as Alex slides to the ground and begins finishing what Lucy started. She works quickly and efficiently. Sam looks on in awe. “I wanted to...say something else.”

“Yeah?” Alex looks up from the nearly finished project. 

“The thing I said about you and Nia, I was...jealous. You’re my friend and not knowing so much about you made me lash out.”

“Well, I’m not interested in Nia. For the record.” _Noted_ , Sam thinks. “You’re really kind, you know? Most people would let things die down a bit before reaching out. I probably needed to chill out before this game, anyway.” 

“I’m your friend, if I hurt you, I deserve to be called out.” 

“And everything’s okay, right? With Lena, I mean.” Alex mimics throwing her phone at the wall. “That Luthor fire sure does shine bright.”

“She’s fierce, but we’re solid.” Alex finishes and places the shelf beside Sam’s desk. They’ve run out of things to keep their hands busy. Sam feels nervous all of a sudden. Like one wrong move and they might be at odds again. One right move might change things in a whole different way. Sam is at a loss for what she wants. “Um...what are your plans for after the game?”

“Party, I think. You’ll be there, right?”

“If you want.” 

“Of course I want you there.” There’s that smile again. “I gotta finish my homework. You know all that dumb stuff you brought over to my room.” 

“Wait!” Alex laughs at Sam’s exclamation. “I bought you food. Earlier. It should be here soon. I thought I might have to bribe you to stay or something.” 

“You’re serious?”

“Kinda.” Sam hears a knock at the door and assumes it’s the delivery guy. “Will you stay?”

“Okay.” Sam starts for the door and expects Alex to follow. Alex doesn’t. Instead, Sam feels a strong hand grab her wrist and then, they’re hugging. It’s the first time they’ve touched like this. It feels different than Sam thought it might. Alex is sure of the embrace; warm, close. Alex knows how to touch someone. How to make them feel safe. It’s nearly too much. Nearly. 

But Alex lets go. Sam knew that eventually, she would but she doesn’t think she’d feel _this_ empty. “Food?” Alex says nodding toward the door. Sam is positively frozen in place. “Come on.” Alex grabs Sam’s hand and leads her into the other room where Lucy is sprawled out on the couch. Lucy eyes their hands suspiciously before tossing a large brown bag at Alex. “Luce, have you ever heard of sharing?” Alex questions watching her friend wolf down a forkful of noodles. 

Lucy complies by fixing Sam a plate, reluctantly. “Sam, I’ve been meaning to ask. When are you gonna make specific cheers for when I score?”

“They’re not gonna make a cheer for something that happens once every fifty games,” Alex jokes. 

“Watch yourself, Danvers. I’m not afraid of kicking your ass.” 

“Good money says I’ll score on Saturday night.” It almost looks like Alex’s eyes are directly on Sam when she says that but Sam doesn’t have time to think about it. Her brain is already short-circuiting and she doesn’t know how to recover. “What do you think, Sam?”

“Sure, I mean...yes.”

“You would say that,” Lucy mutters under her breath. “If I score, you’re on door duty, if you score then I’ll set up drills and fill up water bottles for the next month.” Alex and Lucy shake on it. For the rest of the evening, Sam pretends not to notice Alex’s eyes on her. 

Circumstances have changed drastically over two days. What seemed like an impossibility before isn’t quite so. Sam looks back purposefully. A silent dare between them. Sam was beyond ready for game day. 

* * *

The campus has been buzzing all morning. Parking lots are filled up by noon and every eatery in town is crammed with Midvale Blue Devils fans. As they watch fans and parents tailgate, Nia and Sam get wrapped up in the excitement. Their uniforms are perfectly pressed, pompoms in their bags, and hair tied up with colorful bows. Lois even french braided Sam’s hair for the occasion and, for once, Sam is excited about her look today. 

Sam is thankful that the weather has cooled down significantly. She likes the light windbreaks that the squad wears and she doesn’t have to find a place to hide her phone for two hours. When they arrive on the field, most of the opposing team is already there. Kelly, Vasquez, and Leslie are out there running through some last-minute things together. 

Most of the cheer squad is already there. Mingling in the stands with a very loyal student section. Lois is chatting with Clark. Sam spots Jack, James, Kara, and Lena talking animatedly on in the stands. Jack, as always, has his camera. “Sam! Hey, wave to the camera.” Sam and Nia wave. Lena beckons them over closer. 

“Hey, this is exciting, huh?” Lena looks much better than she did a few days ago. Her smile is genuine but Sam is almost certain that most of that has to do with Kara. They’d gotten close over the past two weeks. Lena had hung around _The Gaze_ room a lot in her free time. 

“Yeah. I’m excited. Nervous.” Sam watches the rest of Midvale’s team jog out on the field. Alex is wearing tape on her thigh, which is a new development. Sam worries, of course, because she understands the magnitude of this game. 

“There she is,” Kara says as she nudges James. They look to the field and find an opposing team player, number 34. Platinum blonde hair, jersey sleeves rolled up - Sam doesn’t get a good feeling. “That’s the girl that outed Alex,” Kara explains. 

“What a cunt.” Lena says with a snarl. “ Can’t wait to ‘boo’ the hell out of her.” 

“Looks like Alex is ready,” James notes pointing to where Alex is standing and taking shots on goal. She hits the ball hard but precisely. Alex is mouthing the words to some rap song that’s playing over the speakers, she and Siobhan laugh as they sing in unison. Alex is ready. She is in the zone. 

“We’d better get down there,” Nia says. “Lois, stop flirting!” Lois gives Clark a quick kiss on the cheek which everyone ‘awwws’ at, before the squad comes together to prepare. Sam can see the stands filling up and overflowing. Even the visiting team has a huge crowd that’s here to watch. Sam tries not to let it all get to her. But there are emotions here, a lot of them. 

The jitters begin before kickoff. Alex approaches number 34 and they go through the formalities of the coin toss. Alex looks like she might hit the girl but she plays it cool like always. Sam finds the cheers to be a lot easier this time. Home field has its advantages and the student section is bursting at the seams as soon as Midvale makes the first pass. 

Whatever they’ve been working on in practice has clearly worked. Siobhan is like a brick wall, thwarting the opposing team's chances before they even reach midfield. Like their first game, this one starts off a little slow. A few hard fouls from each team lets the other know that winning will not be easy. 

Alex seems to stay out of much of the fray but that doesn’t mean she isn’t fighting battles of her own against number 34. Twelve minutes in and Alex is racing up the field, trying to split between two defenders. She gets tripped and thrown to the ground. Everyone in the stands goes crazy, screaming for a whistle or a yellow card. 

The ref lets them play on. 

That’s the moment that changes the game. Leslie kicks the ball further up the field. Siobhan and Vasquez push up and pressure the other team more. Alex gets slide tackled - again - and Sam can see the blood on her calf from where her sock has been torn. Alex waves off the trainer but the ref insists and a game that’s been chaotic and frantic from the very start, stalls at the thirty-seventh minute. “Someone’s really gonna get hurt,” Lois muses. Winn joins their mini-huddle. 

“Do you think we’ll be scoreless by half?” Winn asks them. 

“Doubt it.” Clearly, Lois has some kind of sixth sense because three minutes after Alex’s leg has been cleaned up, she kicks the ball up the middle of the field to a blitzing Lucy. Lucy moves with pace and just when Sam is certain Lucy is going to take a shot, she passes it to Alex. The ball hangs in the air for what seems like forever but Alex lunges forward and gets her foot on the ball just enough to slot it into the bottom right corner of the net. 

The crowd erupts but a small hush overcomes them when they see that Alex and two other players are still down on the ground. Lucy helps Alex back up to her feet and Sam gasps at the amount of blood on the front of Alex’s jersey. “Oh, shit!” Winn screams. Even with her nose bleeding, Alex looks up at the sky relieved and thankful. 

Alex gladly allows the trainer to clean her face up. The cheer squad is close enough to the sidelines to hear most of what the soccer team is saying, so when Alex turns to the squad and gives them a thumbs up before saying, “I’m still hot, right?” Sam has to cover her face with her pompoms to keep from blushing like an idiot. As soon as she’s cleaned up and gets the go-ahead, she sprints back on the field. 

The rest of the half is uneventful. Midvale plays great defense and Kelly manages to get a good shot on goal but the goalie makes a strong save. 

Halftime brings some relief but Sam is still on edge. Watching Alex get hurt not once but twice, clues her into just how much she actually cares. “You look like you’re stressed,” Lois says, handing Sam a water bottle. 

“I am.” 

“Don’t worry, they’ve got this.” Sam has to start listening to Lois because when both teams return to the field, it’s sheer madness. The opposing team has changed their rotation. They’re more compact and defensive. Alex and Lucy barely touch the ball for ten minutes. Alex goes hard on defense, steals the ball, but someone grabs her jersey and yanks her to the ground. “Don’t fucking touch me!” Alex yells in the player’s face before Vasquez grabs Alex to keep her from doing anything stupid. 

Alex walks it off with a small smile on her face. 

There’s a subtle change in Alex like she has just woken up. She gets a second wind and soon enough, she is on the ball again. Spinning around players, playing like a magician, and making the other team look like fools. The second goal is inevitable. But the flare, the way Alex looks at her rival - number 34 - dead in the eyes as she goes to celebrate, it’s beautiful. 

By the time they reach the 87th minute, there’s a sense that Midvale is running away with ease. One corner, a solid header, and Alex has three goals. This is the kind of game that makes people fall in love with the sport. In love with the players. The team sticks around, claps for the crowd and waves at their fans. Winn shows off his strength by lifting Lucy on his shoulders and parading her around. Vasquez approaches Nia with an adorably shy smile, waiting to be noticed. “You played great!” Nia exclaims, arms latching onto Vasquez like it’s a thing they do all the time. 

Sam starts to cup her hands around her mouth so she can yell and get Alex’s attention, but Leslie and Siobhan rush up behind her with a cooler of water. They dump it on Alex’s head getting a chorus of laughter and cheers from the crowd and everyone that’s gathered near the field. “Assholes,” Alex says between laughs. She’s all bloody and soaking wet and Sam can feel a slight twinge in her chest. 

“Yo, let’s go! We’ve got a party to get to.” Lucy muscles the team toward the locker rooms. 

Sam will just have to settle for seeing Alex later. At least this time, when she’s getting dressed up for the party, she has absolutely no shame about looking cute. In fact, if her high waisted jean shorts and mesh top are any indication, Sam is clearly going for a show stopper. “Should I wear a pink or blue bra with this?” Sam asks Nia holding up two lace bras for her friend to choose from. 

“You’re doing a full see-through look? I am here for it.” Nia looks closer at both bras. “Blue. You’ve got some serious Blue Devils spirit, right?” 

“It’s just clothes,” Sam dismisses as she pulls on the rest of her clothes.

“Hey, live your life. I know I am.” Nia slides her phone over so that Sam can see Vasquez’s most recent comment on Nia’s Instagram: _you look beautiful <3\. _“I need wingmen tonight, you down?” 

“You know it,” Sam assures Nia.

“Did someone say wingman?” Winn slides into the room in all of his casual yet sophisticated glory. 

“Yeah! I’m just...curious about Vasquez.” Nia sounds nonchalant but Sam can practically see Nia’s heart rate increase. 

“Oh, that’s a fish you have hooked, trust me.” Nia pulls a coy face, Sam misses that feeling. The start of something new. She could have it again, she thinks, if only she made the right choices tonight. “But I’ll play along.”

“I can talk to Alex if you want. Maybe she’ll know about what Vasquez is thinking, they’re close and all.” Winn and Nia side-eye her. “What?!”

“You don’t need an excuse, Sammy.” Before Sam can ask what exactly that means, Lois and Clark walk into the room carrying two trays of Jell-O shots each. “Those look yummy,” Winn adds.

“They are. You guys ready?” Lois asks. Sam finishes applying some blush and she and everyone else head out together. 

Lois looks at Sam’s outfit not once but twice on the way over. “Nice nips,” she says playfully.

“Fuck off. You can’t actually see them!” Sam looks down at her shirt and bra which are both effectively see-through. “Whatever.” Sam is truly, genuinely unbothered. The only person she wants an opinion from is Alex.

Lucy greets them at the door. She doesn’t even let Clark walk up the porch before she grabs two Jell-O shots for herself. “Looking good, Sam.” It’s followed by a good-natured high five which quells Sam’s nerves slightly. 

What comes as a shock, two seconds later, is the sheer amount of people at the party. The living room is packed, partially because there has been a large beer pong table set up and partially because there seems to be - at least - half of the old Ultimate Frisbee team there. Most of them are carrying beer funnels which is actually the main reason they don’t have a house this year but it’s entertaining at least. 

“There they are!” Nia says nudging Sam in the side. Vasquez is sitting on the arm of the couch watching Siobhan perform what can only be described as some wacky wrestling move. Sam loops her arm with Nia’s and Winn does the same with Nia’s other arm. 

They approach the large group. “What’s happening?” Winn asks Vasquez who turns around and smiles at them.

“I have no fucking idea.” Vasquez’s eyes find Nia and they look so totally smitten. 

“Aren’t you gonna offer?” Sam asks Vasquez.

“Offer...um...what?”

“To get us a drink. Obviously.” Sam is already having fun. Vasquez looks like a deer in headlights as they adorably push a few people aside so Sam, Nia, and Winn can sit. 

“Of course. What would you like? We’ve got everything.”

“I’ll take a beer,” Winn says with a cheeky grin.

“Same,” Sam adds.

“What about you, Nia? I can make you something special. If you want.” Sam and Winn might as well be chopped liver, Vasquez only has eyes for Nia. 

“Surprise her,” Winn finally says after a whole thirty seconds of Nia and Vasquez staring at each other like two total idiots. Vasquez scurries off to grab their drinks and Sam returns her attention to Siobhan who has moved on from wrestling moves to shotgunning a beer with Leslie. 

“When you show up, you _really_ show up.” Alex is holding a Jell-O shot in one hand and a beer in the other. She nearly drops both when she fully takes in Sam’s outfit. A bit of lust, a bit of curiosity, Sam knows Alex is now paying close attention. 

“Nice line, did you practice in front of a mirror?”

“Only a few times.” Alex gives Winn and Nia a smile before looking at Sam again. “You want a drink?”

“Vasquez is getting something for me.” Alex furrows her brow.

“ _I’ll_ get you something,” Alex insists. “I don’t know why all these other bozos are celebrating, I’m the one who won the game.” Leslie flips Alex off. Alex downs her shot and flips Leslie off in return. 

“You were kinda...amazing. Don’t you get tired of people telling you that?” 

“Not really.” Alex hands Sam her beer.”That’s a placeholder by the way, I’ll make you something nice.” Sam doesn’t mind getting taken care of and if it means Winn and Nia are gonna tease her for a few minutes then so be it. 

“Not to be the one to point out the obvious but if you don’t want to bang Alexandra E. Danvers tonight, then you’re gonna have to cool it. Did you see the way her eyes were like all over your body?” Winn looks like he might explode.

“What’s the ‘E’ stand for?” Sam asks. Winn stands and gives Sam and Nia a bow.

“Looks like you two can handle yourselves. I will be seeking a man with a camera.” Winn winks but doesn’t explain if he means Jack or James and Sam is starting to think that it could be both. 

“I hope a margarita is okay, I used sugar on the rim because I thought you’d like that better.” Vasquez hands Nia her drink which is even topped with a tiny little umbrella. Vasquez hands Sam a beer and swivels their head around the room. “Where’s Winn?”

“You can keep his drink, he won’t mind.” Vasquez shrugs and does just that. “Should we...go downstairs? I’m in the mood to dance.” Vazquez’s cheeks darken at Nia's suggestion but they manage to look slightly more confident as they grab Nia’s hand and lead them toward the staircase. 

Sam is alone for all of three seconds when Alex returns and hands Sam a tall glass.

“Long Island iced tea.” Sam hands the beer to a passerby and happily accepts her drink. 

“So, here’s a question.”

“Shoot.”

“If I’m supposed to kiss you when you score a goal, then what happens when you score three?” Sam hasn’t flirted in years, not purposefully at least. Somehow she’s pulling it off. Her outfit certainly doesn’t hurt. Sam gets distracted by a big commotion near the beer pong table. She realizes that Jack is standing there with his camera in hand, filming Lena “I throw phones through walls” Luthor play against some overzealous jock. “Hey, can we…” Alex is already standing. They push their way through the crowd and manage to snag a decent spot at the side of the table. “I didn’t know you were good at this,” Sam yells over the crowd as Lena plops another ping pong ball into her opponent’s cup. 

“I’m good at anything that involves destroying men.” Lena winks at her opponent who looks like he might actually have to tap out. 

“Sam and Ale-.” Jack quickly turns his camera away from them. “That’s...not safe for work.” 

“Shut up, Jack.” Sam turns to Alex, purposefully. “Do you like what I’m wearing?” That seems to be all the permission Alex needs. Earlier that night Alex's eyes had hovered around Sam’s collar, maybe taking a quick peek at her bra, but not like this. Alex's eyes stay on Sam’s chest for a long moment, her cheeks slightly flushed, her hand twitching against the beer can she’s holding like she might just reach out and touch her. 

“You look fucking hot.” Alex forces herself to look Sam in the eyes. “Can’t wait to hear what Josh has to say about this.” Sam nearly spits out her drink. Alex’s eyes go wide. “What?” 

“Why should Josh have _anything_ to say at all?” Alex looks confused. Lena glances over at them with a laugh. 

“Wait...you do know that Sam and Josh broke up, right?” Lena bounces the ping pong ball a few times as she waits for Alex’s response. 

“Obviously, she knows that,” Sam supplies. “Right?”

“Um...how would I know that?” Alex finally says. Lena misses for the first time. Jack does turn the camera to them now, like an eager audience on the edge of their seat. A few other partygoers seem to realize that something is happening so they get closer to listen in. 

“You thought I’d let someone out my best friend and stay with them? That’s why I had Jack with me, in case Josh lost his shit when I told him.” Sam doesn’t know if she should be relieved that Alex knows or offended that she thought Sam was still dating him. 

“Wow, Alex, I thought you were supposed to be smart,” Lena mumbles as she refocuses on her game. 

“I am smart, I…” Alex glances at Jack who’s still filming them before returning her gaze to Sam. “Can I talk to you? Somewhere quiet.” Alex doesn’t really wait for a response. She looks unsettled which in turn makes Sam latch onto her and follow her through the crowd again. Up the stairs, which earns them a very serious look from Lois. And, finally, into Alex’s room. 

Alex paces. Sam sets down her drink and takes a seat on Alex’s bed. “You never said anything. Which is fine, obviously, but...it’s a big deal.”

“It’s fine.” 

“You dated for over two years. It’s _not_ fine.” Alex takes a seat beside Sam. “Are you okay? What did he say?” 

“He yelled mostly. Told me that I was being stupid and selfish and no, that’s not the first time he’s called me those things.” It does hit Sam, finally. The magnitude of everything. She still hasn’t told her family. They’ll think she’s wasted two years and they ask her if there are any promising prospects. Football games will now be awkward. Sam is sure that Josh has told them gross things about her, he’s the kind of person who would lash out in that way. “A weight has been lifted off me. It’s been a long time coming and honestly? I miss the feeling of being single. Dressing up to be looked at. Josh never paid me any attention anyway.”

“I guarantee you’ve got some admirers.” The possibility dawns on Sam. They’re upstairs, alone, and on Alex’s bed. What would be the harm in moving a little closer? What could be so wrong about kissing? “Do you want to…” Alex doesn’t quite say the words but her hand has already reached over, her fingers grasping Sam’s belt loops bringing Sam closer to her. Sam's eyes fall on Alex's lips. 

“Danvers! Where the fuck is your baseball bat?” Leslie does not knock before bursting into Alex’s room. She’s rushing around searching for...well, a baseball bat, apparently. “Max Lord is here and I’m gonna beat him to death.”

“What? He’s here?” Alex jumps off the bed, sprints to her closet, and grabs a bat. “Go, go!” Alex and Leslie race out of the room and rush downstairs. Sam doesn’t know what to do, so she follows. 

What Sam finds downstairs is _a scene_. Vasquez has Max by the shirt collar and Alex is wielding the bat like she might just hit him. Lots of yelling, enough to echo through the kitchen. “If you ever step foot in this house again, I’ll break your kneecaps,” Alex warns Max. Sam startles when she sees Josh nearby, clearly, they’ve come here to create drama and it’s worked. “Get out. Now.” Vasquez releases Max and he and Josh, thankfully, leave without making a big fuss. 

Alex drops the bat and turns to Siobhan who is already being comforted by Kara and Leslie. It dawns on Sam, the reality of the situation. She’s shocked and angry. She knows Josh can be an idiot but he’s never been devious and malicious in this way. Sam pushes through the crowd and jogs out the front door. 

It’s easy to catch up with Josh and Max. They’re drunk and laughing. Sam’s blood boils. “What were you doing back there?” Josh turns first, his eyes flit down to Sam’s chest. She crosses her arms to cover herself. “What’d you do, Max?”

“Nothing,” Max says innocently. 

“You hurt Siobhan, right? That’s why you got suspended?” Max is a fumbling mess, so Sam returns her attention to Josh. “Don’t do something like that ever again-.”

“What are you doing dressed like that? Who’s in that house that’s got you half naked-.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Sam closes her eyes for a moment. “You know...this was a waste of time. Like everything with you.”

“People have their problems, Sam.” 

“You outed my best friend and apparently you’re hanging out with a rapist. So...as far as problems go…” Sam looks back toward the house. “Don’t you dare make this ugly between us. Leave the soccer team alone.”

“You mean Alex, don’t you?” Josh smirks. “She’s trouble. She’ll hurt you more than I ever could-.”

“Hey, what’s going on over here?” Lucy approaches the trio. She’s holding something in her hand and as Lucy gets closer Sam notices that it’s a switchblade. Lucy points it at Max, who has now sobered up just enough to realize that he’s in real danger. “Alex is a nice sweet person. Me? Not so fucking much.” Lucy lowers the blade. “What’s with the fucking dilly-dallying? Get the fuck out of here.” Josh and Max stumble away, fast. 

Lucy wraps her arm around Sam’s waist. “You good?”

“Yeah.” But Sam isn’t _good_. She’s concerned about everything that Josh might have held back from her all these years. Did he know what Max had done? Did he care? Sam is frightened of returning to the soccer house. Returning to chaos or worse, silence.

When Lucy leads her back inside, things have more or less returned to normal. Except that Leslie and Siobhan are nowhere in sight. The music coming from the basement has somehow gotten louder and Lena is wearing some kind of crown that signals that she’s dominated at beer pong. 

Then, there’s the other thing. Alex sitting on the couch surrounded by a bunch of friends. Friends that include Lois, who is - for some reason - combing her hand through Alex’s hair. No one seems to notice, even Clark seems perfectly content with this. Sam isn’t, actually. She’s frustrated by the intimacy between them and whatever else they’ve shared. There must be more to it. 

But Alex smiles when Sam returns and makes way for her to sit down beside her. “Sorry, I ran off like that,” Alex whispers in Sam’s ear. There’s an opening, albeit brief, for Alex and Sam to return upstairs. They don’t and now Sam has to watch Alex mingle and drink knowing how close they were to kissing. 

There’ll be other times, probably. But right now, all the adrenaline from the game and throwing Max out of the house seems to be hitting Alex all at once. Whereas she’d been sipping her drink earlier in the night, now Alex had graduated to chugging. The Ultimate Frisbee team helps egg her on and soon, Alex is drunk. Ridiculously so. 

She isn’t an angry drunk or a loud drunk. Just a bit clumsy. Maybe a little handsy but they are in close proximity, so that’s not surprising. “You’re drunk.” 

“Yeah,” Alex bobs her head up and down. 

“You need to sleep it off.” Sam grabs a hold of Alex’s hand before Alex can move on from where she’s been rubbing her back. “Kara!” Sam waves to get the younger Danvers’ attention. 

“Hey...wow, Alex.” Kara laughs. “Let’s get you upstairs.” It takes them a while to even get to the staircase but Kara is stronger than she looks and they manage to drag Alex to her room. Kara yanks off Alex’s shoes and goes in search of some Advil. Alex fumbles with her pants and eventually flops down on her bed in only her bra and underwear. 

Sam looks away. 

“You can stay,” Alex mumbles into her pillow. “I won’t...do anything we’d both regret.” Sam doesn’t know how to say no to Alex. Not anymore. 

* * *

Sam wakes up to Jack hitting her on the arm. Alex is, adorably, latched onto a pillow and - somehow - Sam’s leg and it takes Sam a moment to remember. Party, booze, Josh being an asshole - right. “Jack, what are you…” Sam shoves him away but he crawls, literally crawls, back to the side of Alex’s bed and emphatically points to his phone. 

“I need to show you something.” Jack doesn’t look that serious, elated is a better word for it, but Sam climbs out of bed and follows him into the common room that Lucy and Alex share on the top floor. Sam is thankful that she had the presence of mind to wash her face and put on cozy pajamas last night because she feels a lot more comfortable climbing out the window and onto the balcony in sweats. Alex’s sweats actually. 

Jack follows and when they’re seated, he dramatically takes a deep breath. “Okay, so - as you know - I’m the media relations guy for all things Midvale soccer. Super fun gig, would recommend-.”

“Jack.”

“Right, moving on...I go to the media scuffle after every game. Usually, Cat speaks, gives really short and hilarious answers, but sometimes players from both teams come and chat with the media.” Jack pulls up a video on his phone. “Last night, Alex showed up, which...trust me, was a big deal, everyone was asking all these questions and...well, look.” Jack fast forwards through Cat Grant, an opposing team player, and then presses play. 

Alex appears on Jack’s phone screen. She sits behind a table with NCAA logos behind her and a microphone in front of her face. “Hi, Alex, how did you feel about that game?” Some media guy asks out of frame.

“Great. We played really well as a team, that’s all you can ask for.” Alex is really good in front of an audience which shouldn’t surprise Sam at this point. 

“A few reps from ESPN watched one of your practices this week. They came away a bit unimpressed by your play. Was anything going on leading up to the game ?” A guilty look crosses Sam’s face at that question. Alex smiles and takes a sip of water. 

“Um...just school things. You know we’re student-athletes, so sometimes school can be stressful, but as long as we can work through it and get ready for the game then that’s what matters. I think it showed tonight.” Jack nudges Sam’s side indicating that _this_ is the part of the video that Sam should be paying attention to. 

“What are the things you do to remain mentally tough? Is there anyone you rely on in particular?”

“Usually, my teammates or my sister. This week was a little different, I learned to trust a few other folks.” Alex is being purposefully vague and Sam is certain that whoever is asking the questions has caught on. 

“One last question: would you like to dedicate your goals to someone in particular?” 

“Oh.” Alex smiles. “Yeah, actually...Sam. She’s the reason I played so well tonight.” Alex gives the audience a quick ‘thank you’ before leaving the table. Sam stares at the video with her mouth hanging open. 

“Sam…”

“I know. I know how it looks.” Sam covers her face with her hands. “I don’t want this to become a thing.” 

“I’ll flood everyone’s feeds with other interviews, but...I dunno.” Jack slips his phone into his pocket. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Sam puts her face in her hands, she wants to scream.”I know what it looks like...but it’s _not_. We haven’t even done anything.”

“This can get ugly. Josh and Max showing up last night wasn’t a good look.” Jack wraps his arm around Sam’s shoulders.”If it means anything to you, I like Alex. She’s good people.”

When Sam returns to Alex’s room, Alex is holding her phone above her face texting. “Oh, hey, I was just gonna ask where you ended up last night.” Alex sits up and squints at the sun slipping through her window.

“Alex, I slept here.”

“Shit-.”

“We didn’t...we just slept.” Alex looks relieved. Sam doesn’t know how to take it. “You were really drunk last night.”

“I’m sorry. Did I…” Alex pushes her covers off her. “Did I say something or do something…?”

“Alex, you’re fine,” Sam assures her. “I saw a video...of what you said to the media after the game.”

“Fuck, it was…” Alex’s phone buzzes a few times but she ignores it. “If anyone says anything to you, just tell them to talk to me. I didn’t mean for it to come out a certain way. People will read into it though.” 

“For the record,” Sam sits on the edge of Alex’s bed. “I thought it was kinda sweet.” Alex covers her blush nicely, Sam tries to take the warmth that she feels in stride. “Are you hungry?” 

“Yeah, a little. Hang on.” Alex checks her phone and her face seems to tense up significantly. “Um...sorry, I should probably help clean up the house.”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Whoever texted Alex has clearly caused this sudden shift. Sam will ask later but for now, she needs to work through her feelings. “Text me if…” Now Sam is the one blushing, she doesn’t know what she’s even trying to say. “If you want to hang out or...whatever.”

“Yeah, I will.” 

As Sam reaches the first floor of the house, she’s reminded just how crazy last night was. Jack is texting on his phone, Lena is sleeping on the couch between Lois and Clark. Lucy walks out of the kitchen carrying a mug of coffee. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hi.” 

“Coffee?” Lucy offers. 

“Sure.” Sam follows Lucy into the kitchen and watches her make another cup of coffee. “Did you have a good night?” 

“Yeah. Good game, good party...cracked my phone screen though.” Lucy shows Sam her phone.

“I remember you and a knife or something…” Lucy laughs and hands Sam a mug. 

“I’m a scrapper. Good thing you were there.” Lucy sits on the counter. “We got some fun away games coming up. Hope the squad can come.”

“Me too.”

“I saw the video.” Lucy doesn’t look particularly happy. “I mean, obviously, do what you feel but Alex is emotional as shit. No offense, but please don’t get in her head.” 

“I wouldn’t hurt her.”  
  


“Not on purpose.” Lucy is as serious as Sam has ever seen her. “Anyway, I’ve got a shit ton of Poly Sci bullshit to do. I’ll catch you later.” It’s these moments, the concern and overstepping of everyone around them, that starts to make Sam wonder. What’s so dangerous about her friendship with Alex and why does everyone care _this_ much. It’s that ridiculous sense of danger that draws Sam closer to Alex. 

On her way back to her apartment, Sam pulls out her phone and finds Alex’s contact information. 

**[SAM]:** everyone seems a little too invested in your interview

**[ALEX]:** fucking vultures. We might need to find an underground bunker to live in for awhile

**[SAM]:** I’m starting to feel like everyone’s having fun except us. Maybe we really should be hooking up

**[ALEX]:** maybe we should 

**[ALEX]:** don’t give me ideas

**[SAM]:** I’ll try not to 

When Sam arrives in her room and flips open her laptop. She finds the video that Jack had shown her only an hour ago. She watches it again paying close attention to the way Alex’s eyes light up as she says Sam’s name. It’s hard not to fall into this trap, but Alex is offering bait that is so enticing that Sam can’t help but bite. Sam doesn’t care what Lucy says, she doesn’t care about any of the warnings. Sam is ready to move on from Josh and move forward with what she really wants.

Sam rewinds the video and plays it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the thing everybody, the world is terrifying right now. If you want to talk, let's talk. If you want a list of organizations you can donate to, things you can do to be a better ally, or ways to take care of yourself emotionally, I can help you find those things. 
> 
> But remember, I'm Black, and that means that I will not deal with the emotional labor of walking you through anything.
> 
> Other than that, writing fanfic is fun and a really fun way for me to step away from everything. I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	7. Crazy Little Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Well...kinda. 
> 
> I mostly just wanted to post this for my friend's (gaydisasterdanvers) birthday. So if you're not already checking out their work then do yourself a favor and read it all

It’s a near brawl in the cafeteria that solidifies the rivalry between the soccer and football teams. Alex knows that she should be keeping a level head and she tries to, but something about Max Lord boils her blood. The fact that he’s even allowed to still be at school is one thing, the idea that he would dare show his face at the soccer house - in front of Siobhan, no less - is absurd. 

Alex bites into her apple and watches Max and his buddies take a seat at a large round table. Alex tries not to give a shit but it’s an ill-advised comment that brings her attention to the table. “Alex, what’s up with you and Josh’s old bae?” It’s the way Max shouts across the room that draws attention to both tables. 

“Mind your business,” Alex shouts back. 

Alex watches Max stand up and she knows that if he comes any closer she’ll hit him. “You girls are too uptight. Danvers, maybe I should go for your little sister-.” At least, this time, Alex gets an actual punch in before Lucy and Vasquez are grabbing her and pulling her out of the cafeteria. 

Before this year, Alex had stayed out of any trouble. She’s never felt the need to punch anyone and now in the span of one week, she’s had to get physically restrained twice. Lucy deposits Alex two blocks from the cafeteria and she looks furious. Vasquez has their hands crossed over their chest pacing. “If you’re gonna throw punches in front of the whole fucking school, make sure you actually knock has ass out-.”

“Maybe if you didn’t dive in and stop me, I would’ve-.”

“Coach Grant is gonna have your ass. If she’s having a bad day, then you won’t be Captain anymore. If Max’s pride is hurt enough, you could get suspended-.”

“He’s not gonna say anything. I barely hit him.” Lucy grabs Alex’s shirt. “Let go of me.”

“Alex. Listen to me. You’re all fucked up. Fall break is coming, you need an actual break.” It’s an olive branch, one Alex knows to take or risk getting into a fight with her friends. Lucy releases her. “If anyone is gonna be fighting in cafeterias, it’ll be Leslie. Now, we’ve got practice later, so rest up.” Alex is thankful for her friends. She always is but recently it’s felt like they are giving her more support than she can handle. 

Alex decides that the only thing she can do is head over to the field early. Stretching and running through drills is an easy way to calm herself down. She spots Coach Grant about twenty minutes into her workout. She gives her a wave which is just enough to get her to join her on the field. “I don’t work you hard enough at practice?”

“Uh, more like...I needed some space.”

“Too much punching today?” Alex tenses, Coach Grant laughs. “Don’t worry, I know the situation but...you have a lot more to think about than some idiot on the football team.”

“I know.” 

“What’s going on with you?” That’s a loaded question. Coach Grant has always been slightly terrifying but she’s an incredible coach. She knows how to get the best out of everyone, so she presses forward. “Is this a personal thing?” 

“Sort of.” Alex dribbles the ball between her feet. “Max is a jerk. I don’t know if Siobhan told you…”

“I’m well aware of the situation.” 

“Well, and then Josh, he’s... I've recently become friends with his ex. It’s caused some problems.” Alex kicks the ball over to Coach Grant, she settles it with ease. “I’m not trying to start anything. I’m focused on the field, you know that, but...it’s hard not to get caught up.”

“Pretty girls can be deadly.” Grant kicks the ball back to Alex. “No more fighting, Danvers. If you want this life then you need to be focused on the game on and off the field. If you have problems with any of the football players, come directly to me.” Cat goes to walk away, to return to her office to come up with a truly deadly practice perhaps, but she turns on her heels instead. “I met my wife in college. This was in those ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ days and that especially meant female athletes. Life was hard and holding onto secrets was hell, so I walked away from the sport. I couldn’t handle the pressure, so I decided to go behind the scenes.”

“I didn’t know that, Coach. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for me, that’s not why I’m telling you this.” She motions to the field around them. “What I’m saying is, do things that make you happy. You’re young, so be young, but you know that I will fight for you.”

“Thank you.”

“And...I know that things aren’t great with your mother.” Alex is surprised that Coach Grant knows this, but she supposes the financial aid office has made Cat aware of what’s going on with Alex. “Fall break is coming up and I have a big house. It’s open to anyone who needs it.” Alex is thankful that Coach Grant has torn down her walls for the sake of offering a welcome hand to Alex. She needs it and she’s certainly willing to accept if necessary. 

Practice is a breeze. Coach Grant doesn’t go easy on them but she’s focused on tactics and shifting the rotation to give them time to rest. Coach Grant is also pushing Alex as a leader. She’s in charge of the warm-up exercises and she stands on the sidelines watching a scrimmage alongside Coach Grant and Hank. “What do you see, Danvers?”

“Against Warren, we need to sharpen our backline. I think Vasquez needs to sit lower. Lucy and I can sink too so we can tighten the middle of the field.” Alex sees the field well enough to make Coach proud and that dramatically turns around her day with ease. And then it hits her, as Leslie and Siobhan are talking about their long flights home for fall break, that Alex really doesn’t have plans.

This is the first year that home is not an option. Coach Grant had offered but Alex feels weird taking her up on it. Alex is in the middle of texting Kara about her plans when she nearly walks right into Nia and Sam. “Whoa there!” Nia grabs Alex’s shoulders, intercepting her and balancing them both. “Got somewhere to be?”

“Oh. No.” Alex’s eyes dart to Sam. “Sorry.”

“Lucy told me what happened with Max.” Sam searches Alex’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

“You should see the other guy,” Alex jokes, brushing them both off and trying to head toward the exit. Nia and Sam follow her closely. “I just need to...figure out where Kara is.” Alex grabs her phone and shoots off her a quick ‘where are you’ text to Kara. “Fucking fall break, am I right?” 

Nia and Sam exchange a look. “Got plans?” Nia asks but Alex can already see her opening her mouth to ask something else, so she waits. “Oh, you could come with us!”

“With you...where?” Alex is already prepared to say no, but that doesn’t mean she won’t listen. 

“EDM concert in National City,” Nia says with a smile. 

“I thought you were into  _ my type  _ of music,” Alex says eyeing Sam suspiciously. “I mean, it’s not exactly...my scene. No offense.” 

“It’s just for fun. Plus, National City.” Sam pokes Alex’s side. “If you really don’t have a place to go, you should join us. Winn’s coming too and we already have a hotel for four anyway. Josh was going to come but...well, you get the idea.” 

“I have to talk to Kara, but…” Alex smiles at Nia and Sam’s eager faces. “It’s a maybe.” Nia starts to split off toward the west side of campus but Sam sticks with Alex. “See you later, Nia!” Alex shouts after her and then settles into comfortable silence with Sam. “So…”

“So…”

“Wanna go for a drive?” 

They drop their things off at Sam’s apartment and go to Alex’s house to get her bike. Alex knows that things are iffy at best, but getting off campus might be exactly what she needs to settle down. So what if it’s a weak excuse to feel Sam’s arms around her. “There you go overthinking again.” 

“Not  _ over _ thinking. Just thinking.” Alex puts on her helmet. “Last year, I went home for Fall Break because I felt like I was welcome there. It’s hard to realize that I don’t feel that way anymore.” Alex shrugs. “But if Kara’s okay with it, I’d like to hang out with you guys. Keep you out of trouble.”

“Says the girl who punched a football player four hours ago.” Sam tugs on her helmet and slides onto the motorcycle behind Alex. She squeezes her arms tight around Alex to let her know she’s ready. The drive goes by fast. Alex wishes she could be held for longer but Sam’s stunned expression as they park in front of “Dooley’s Rare Finds” is almost enough to make things better. “Alex…”

“What? You said you wanted to come here.”

“Yeah, but…” Sam wipes her eyes and Alex realizes just how much this means to her. 

“Should we go in?” 

“Yes!” Sam grabs Alex’s hand and pulls her toward the building. They  _ whoosh _ through the doors and uncover a spectacle of books and trinkets. It’s a warm store and a place that Alex would describe as distinctly happy. The upstairs is filled with exciting finds, like books on feminism and witchcraft. Alex gets lost in words and titles while Sam finds her way to the fiction section. They both jump out of their skin when they find a tiny little cat, aptly named “Tea Cake”, in the horror section. “Awww.” 

“Do you have any pets at home?” Alex asks, attentive to the way that Sam easily gets the cat to cuddle up in her lap. 

“I wish. You?” 

“I had a dog when I was really young. But then we got Kara.” Alex laughs, Sam jabs her thumb into Alex’s side. “Joking. I love my sister.” 

“I can’t believe you did this.”

“Did what?” 

“Drove me all the way out here.” Sam gets a very thoughtful look but uses the cat as a distraction. “You know where I spent my last fall break?” 

“Where?”

“At Niagara Falls,” Sam rolls her eyes at the memory. “I thought we’d be taking cool pictures, bundling up and taking a horse ride around the city. Josh was just off getting wasted with his friends. Clark, of all people, was in most of my photos.” Sam sighs. “I’m happy I broke up with him. I’m not happy with the way it happened but...I think this Fall Break is going to actually be fun.” 

“But EDM? Seriously?” 

“Don’t be so boring.” Alex practically scowls. “I’ll tell you what. Since you took me here and you’re indulging us by considering going to this concert...why don’t I do something for you?” 

“Something like what?” 

“Well...what do you want?” There’s something tense about the conversation. Sam suddenly starts to feel uneasy about what Alex’s response might be. There’s no booze to fall back on now. 

“Uh...cupcakes or something?” 

“That’s all?” Alex nods. “You’re easy to please.” Alex almost says something in response but she turns away and shuffles through the books instead. Sam watches Alex. She considers what could’ve been. If someone like Alex had walked into her Aunt’s bookstore when she was in high school, Sam’s whole world could’ve been different. It’s here, in this bookstore away from everything familiar to Sam, that she starts to see Alex for the first time. Sam sees her eyes widen when she accidentally opens up an erotic novel. She sees Alex stretch her leg out after they’ve been sitting for too long. Alex doesn’t rush Sam. But when it gets dark and Sam is trying to take a selfie of herself in front of the bookstore sign, she makes a choice. 

She takes a picture of Alex sitting a few feet away on her bike. 

“Hey!” Alex shouts, sticking her arm out like she’s waiting for Sam to hand over her phone. “I look like garbage.” Sam looks at the photo. Alex is wearing this corduroy brown jacket with  _ Adidas  _ soccer pants and Sam has yet to figure out why Alex always looks this good in everything she wears. 

“You don’t.” Sam slides on the back behind Alex, grabs her helmet, and puts her books into the bag attached to the bike. “Thank you for today.” 

“I needed it,” Alex tells her honestly and without any hesitation, Sam leans forward and kisses Alex’s jacket-clad shoulder. Sam isn’t certain that Alex feels it and she’s not willing to make a big deal out of it just yet. Sam tugs on her helmet. Sam wraps her arms around Alex and she knows that them - driving together, being this close - is starting to feel like a habit.

* * *

“Are you coming to the mall with us?” Nia asks early on Saturday. Sam’s mouth is stuffed with cereal that Winn steals from the cafeteria each week for the apartment. “Winn and Lois should be up soon if you want to join.” 

“You know I can’t say 'no' to shopping.” Nia grabs a bowl and takes a seat next to Sam. “Are we getting anything specific?” Nia whips out her phone and scrolls through a few adorable jackets and pants. 

“Okay, so...things are going like nowhere with Vasquez.”

“Last weekend they seemed to put in plenty of effort.” Sam finishes up her cereal. “It was so cute.” 

“Not to be...horny on main, but I’m gonna buy a bunch of new clothes because I want to look cute and because I think Vasquez will like them.” Sam enjoys Nia’s honesty, she finds it refreshing. Winn and Lois emerge from their rooms soon after. Winn looks almost as excited as Nia and Lois are. “We’re gonna spend so much money.” 

The mall is big and fancy. It’s about a twenty-minute drive from Midvale and Winn somehow knows everything about it. Nia takes six pictures of the car while they're in the parking garage. “What? I’ve gotten lost in smaller places than this,” Nia exclaims as Lois is pulling her along with them. 

“Okay, ladies, remember: no one buys anything until we all see it. Fashion montage, commence.” As soon as the words leave Winn’s mouth, Sam really does feel like she’s in a teen movie. She is, thankfully, guided by her friends and led to some clothes that she might normally gawk at. 

“What are you gonna wear for the concert?” Nia asks as they sneak around  _ Hot Topic _ far away from Lois and Winn who are somewhere in  _ Burberry. _ “I found this cute vinyl skirt with a matching top. It reflects light in a really cool way. I can show you!” Nia grabs Sam’s hand and leads her to the other end of the store, Sam is surprised by how much she likes it. 

“I don’t know. The skirt is pretty short and I’m not sure that top...covers much.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure Alex saw your nipples last weekend-.”

“Why are you bringing Alex into this?” Sam recognizes how defensive she sounds, so she adds, “This is really cute though. I think I’ll get it.” Nia patiently waits for Sam and tosses a choker in the pile for Sam to buy. Sam smiles a little to herself knowing how far she’s going out of her comfort zone for this. 

“Lois just texted me. They’re at Victoria’s Secret.” Nia and Sam share a laugh, there is no way they’ll get out of here without buying something cute that Lois will probably convince them is necessary. Luckily, the dressing rooms are empty, so Nia and Sam find Winn and Lois easily. “Cute,” Nia tells Lois who is trying on some lingerie. 

“Are you actually going to buy that?” Sam asks, sitting on one of the benches and kicking her feet up. 

“No, I just come here to take sexy pics for Clark.” Nia and Sam exchange disgusted faces. Winn actually gags from his dressing room. “Say what you want but the lighting here is crazy good. My nudes could go viral.” 

“Let’s hope not,” Sam mumbles. 

“I’m an artist,” Lois tells them as she sneaks back into her dressing room. Nia sits down beside Sam and rolls her eyes. 

“I have all my nudes locked and loaded. I should probably take some new ones.” Sam blushes, not quite surprised by the idea, but embarrassed that she seems to be the only one in her friend group who hasn’t sent those kinds of photos. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re going into shock.” Nia rests the back of her hand against Sam’s forehead. 

“It’s nothing,” Sam shrugs her off. “I’ve just never taken any nudes.” Winn practically kicks down his dressing room door when he hears that. 

“Not even for Josh?!” Winn blurts out. 

“Ew. No.” Sam shakes her head. “I don’t even know how to.” 

“You’ve got three experts here,” Lois tells her. Sam knows there is no way she’s getting out of this, so she follows Lois into her dressing room while Nia and Winn hover. “Okay, we’re gonna get you some amazing pics right now-.”

  
“What would I even need them for?” Sam questions. 

“You never know. Sometimes you’re doing a little flirting, a little sexting and them BAM...you’re in nudes territory.” Nia looks at the lights in the dressing room and takes a few selfies of her own. “Okay, so get naked.”

“I’m not getting naked,” Sam deadpans. 

“At least take off your shirt,” Lois suggests. “Look, what are friends for if not to help your nudes look cute?”

“This is embarrassing…” Sam says as she complies. It isn’t that her friends are forcing her to do anything, she just doesn’t know how to do this kind of thing. What are her best angles? Who would she even send something like this to? “Do I pose...or…?”

“We’ve got you, don’t worry.” Nia grabs her phone and angles the camera towards Sam. “Give me bedroom eyes.” 

“That sounds stupid.” But Sam tries. And if she’s being honest with herself, Lois, Nia, and Winn actually make this kind of fun. She gets twenty different pictures and all of them look good. Sam blushes the entire time but she likes trying something different. “Thank you guys,” Sam mutters after they’re all shopped out and drinking smoothies at the food court. 

“We love you, Sammy,” Lois tells her with a side hug. 

“I think that...well, it’s been a rough few weeks. That thing with Josh, it still boils my blood. And Lena, you should’ve heard her…” Nia clears her throat and Sam realizes that Nia is the only other person who was there for a lot of it. “I know you all probably think I’m an idiot-.”

“These things are complicated, Sam.” Lois lifts Sam’s chin up. “No one’s perfect and in the end you made the right choice.” Winn and Nia nod along. “Speaking of choices...what was with that video-.”

“I know,” Sam snaps. “Sorry, I’m just tired of people bringing it up. What Alex said was sweet, that’s all.”

“We’re just looking out for you,” Lois assures her. 

“Well, I’m not the person at this table who has actually slept with Alex.” Winn drops his smoothie on the floor and quickly rushes off to go find napkins. Nia looks between Sam and Lois, waiting for one of them to say something. Sam has surprised herself again. Jealousy is not something she’s used to but it’s here and now she has to deal with it. After Winn cleans up his smoothie, they can’t get out of the mall fast enough. 

Sam has ruined the day for them and she can’t quite figure out how to fix it. She wants to apologize but she knows that isn’t enough. Lois prefers loyalty to tension, and Sam doesn’t know how to prove to Lois that she’ll always be on her side. Because right now, Sam doesn’t want to be on Lois’s side. She wants to be on her own side, the one where she gets to be the center of her own world. The world where she doesn’t have to hide behind jealousy because she’s brave enough to go out and get what she wants. That’s what she wants to say - scream even. But she doesn’t. 

And that’s when the car breaks down. 

“Are you kidding me?” Winn mumbles as he walks around his car and frowns at the flat tire. Sam finds the nail which is clearly the source of this problem and Nia exclaims that she knows exactly how to change a tire. 

“Where’s your lug wrench?” Nia asks as she sifts through Winn’s trunk. 

“My what? I don’t have any of that shit. I always call Triple A.” Winn grabs his phone and starts to dial but Lois snatches it out of his hand. “What?”

“We’ll call Kara, she has a truck. Technically.” Sam watches Lois figure everything out without breaking a sweat. Sam climbs back into Winn’s car and waits while Nia explains the importance of being prepared to Winn outside. Sam knows that apologizing to Lois would be a good first step in working through this but it bothers her just how much she seems to still be on the outside looking in. Sam watches Lois pace back and forth, and instead of joining her friends, Sam plays  _ Candy Crush  _ on her phone. She gets a strange urge to open  _ Tinder _ but she closes it quickly and deletes the app for good measure as Kara’s truck approaches. 

Sam didn’t know that Kara had a car, much less a giant  _ Ford _ truck. “Hi, damsels in distress,” Kara jokes as she hops out of the truck and eyes the flat tire. “Yikes.”

“Kara, please don’t be dramatic about this,” Lois warns. 

“I’m not, I’m not,” Kara says waving off whatever seems to be worrying Lois. “Hey, are you just gonna sit there, or what?” At first, Sam thinks Kara’s yelling at her which would be a shock considering Kara seems to be the human embodiment of cotton candy. When she sees Alex slide out of the truck and slug over with ice taped to her leg Sam practically flies out of the car. “Whoa! Quite the entrance, Sam” Kara exclaims. 

“Alex, what happened?” Sam can see Lois straining to avoid rolling her eyes. Alex gives Sam the slightest smile. 

“Preliminary icing, no worries. Gotta be prepared for the game tonight.” Sam should be embarrassed by how concerned she was but Alex starts helping Kara - and Nia - with changing the tire, so Sam can sneak into the background again. “You guys are out early,” Alex remarks. She peeks into Winn’s car, noting the shopping bags. “Ohhh, anything for me?” 

“If you come with us over fall break, then yes,” Nia tells Alex.

“Well, she’s going with you. I told her that she had to, there’s no way she’s gonna sulk around at school.” Kara seems very certain about all this. Alex leans against Winn’s car and watches Kara get all worked up. “Eliza doesn’t get to treat you like this and expect you to come home. You should be having fun. I won’t go home either if you don’t want me to. You know that right, Alex?” 

“I know.” Alex pats Kara’s shoulder and kisses her forehead. “Relax, we’ll have fun. Won’t we, Sam?” Now Lois does roll her eyes. “Either way, this is the last game before the break, so even though you all aren’t cheering, it’d be nice to see you there.” 

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Nia says.

“Vasquez appreciates your loyalty.” Nia whacks Alex’s arm and earns a good-natured laugh from Alex. This day could easily have been ruined but Alex and Kara are great reminders of just how wonderful the world can be. Kara is sweet in a way that’s disarming. Sam quickly learns that Kara and Alex’s relationship is nothing like Lucy and Lois’. Their love isn’t a competition. There’s always something playful and genuine between them and they’re both incredibly protective of the other. Alex is great at  _ pretending  _ to be a cocky little shit but Kara turns her into a goofball. 

It takes them longer than it should to change the tire but Sam is thankful for the breather. As much as Sam would prefer sulking around the apartment until it was game time, she realizes pretty quickly that she can’t just sit around until things fizzle over because Lois is as stubborn as she is. 

Lois is sitting in the kitchen, watching Winn make everyone lunch when Sam finally gets the nerve to approach her. “Hey, can we...talk for a sec?” Winn clearly knows what this is about considering he dropped an entire smoothie in shock at the revelation, but Sam would prefer something private. Lois follows Sam into her room and it’s Lois, not Sam, who closes the door behind them. “I shouldn’t have brought that up.” Which is a stupid thing to say because it’s obvious and it’s not a real apology. 

“No shit.”

“I’ve been super overwhelmed I guess and I took it out on you-.”

“You’re jealous, it’s okay.” That catches Sam off guard. “But I’m your friend, so if you have something to say, say it to my face and not in front of Winn or Nia.” 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Sam takes a seat on her bed and Lois reluctantly joins. “And really, it’s not my place to judge anyone on anything. I was dating the biggest asshole in the world for two years.”

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself.” Lois is the most practical person Sam knows, so when she gets advice from her she tends to take it. “And since it’s just us in here...tell me what the fuck is going on with you and Alex.” 

Sam flops back on the bed and covers her face. “Okay, so...nothing is  _ really  _ going on.” 

“But…?”

“I won’t rule it out.” Sam sighs. “We’ll have to see what happens over Fall Break.” Lois’s excitement only highlights just how different Lois and Lucy really are. Sam could easily take this as a victory. Lois is the toughest person she knows and she’s on her side. But Sam still knows she needs the approval of at least half the soccer team if she actually wants this to go somewhere. Anywhere. 

It would help if Sam knew what she actually wanted which seems to be the theme of her college life. “Well, for the record, Alex likes to play tough guy all the time. I watched that video and she meant what she said. If I were you...I’d go for it.” 

* * *

Alex is thankful for soccer. She’s thankful for the field and fans and her teammates. She’s struggling to escape the repercussions of the video but out here it’s never mattered less. Alex sees Sam in the stands. She’s wearing a jersey that says “Lane” on the back of it and she’s wearing it because she knows Alex is wishing that it was her jersey instead. Alex does wish that, of course. Sioban makes a big thing about pointing it out and Alex can hear Lucy’s retort loud and clear, “She might have my name on her back but she’s got Danvers on the brain.” Alex says nothing. She focuses on the routine of the sport. Kicking, stretching, and finding her focus for the game. 

The Metropolis Spartans are a solid out of conference team. Alex likes playing them because Midvale is the taller team for a change. Alex likes their odds. She likes the way practices have been going. Even Coach Grant smiles at them during their pregame warmups. “You ready?” Lucy asks Alex as they prepare for kickoff. 

“Always.” 

The Spartans are surprisingly good. They get possession of the ball and they hold onto it. Alex finds herself chasing the ball rather than touching it for the first fifteen minutes of the game. Kelly is the only one who manages to get her foot on the ball but an ill-advised pass leads to another turnover. 

It isn’t that they aren’t trying. But the Spartans are content to wait it out, see who gets tired first, and then attack. Their first shot on goal goes wide but Leslie is slow to react. Vasquez is frustrated, Alex can tell. So on the way back up the field, Alex nudges Vasquez’s arm, “Let the game come to us.” 

Lucy tries to push the pace. Alex catches on to the maneuver and hurries up the field, struggling to find an open space, but the Spartan’s defense collapses and steals the ball. Lucy is seconds away from an unnecessary foul, Alex can see it in her eyes, so Alex sprints across the field in a desperate attempt to ignite the team. A collision stops her in her tracks and when she manages to climb back up to her feet the ref is holding up a yellow card. 

“For what? Are you kidding me?!” Alex has never played like this. She can sense the worry from the crowd. The stands have been deathly quiet save for Kara’s borderline heckling. They go into half 0-0 to a team they should be dominating. 

In the locker room, the mood is grim. Coach Grant lets them sit and drink water and nurse injuries, while she stands there holding a clipboard and leaning against the wall like nothing is happening. After three minutes of silence, Coach Grant throws the clipboard so hard against the wall that it cracks in two. “Do you want to lose?” 

“No,” Alex responds. No one else on the team says anything. 

“Then prove it.” Coach Grant leaves the locker room and the team is forced to sit with that thought for a little while longer. 

“That team is full of fucking scrubs. We should be up by ten.” Lucy stands and paces around the room. 

“This is our season, guys. We don’t need a pep talk, we need to go out there and do what we’ve been training to do for our whole lives.” Alex stands and holds her hand out in front of her. “No excuses. Win or lose, leave it all out there.” Lucy puts her hand on top of Alex’s. And then Vasquez. Then Siobhan. Until the whole team is all in. “Blue Devils on 3. 1, 2, 3-.”

“Blue Devils!” 

They go out on the field with a renewed energy. The crowd is behind them too. Alex chances a glance and sees Jack leading some elaborate cheer and recording it all on his camera. Alex reminds herself to focus on the field and the game.

She has work to do.

The second half starts in a frenzy. Lucy is sprinting around the field like a track star and the opposing team is caught off guard. It helps that Alex can practically read Lucy’s mind, so when Lucy steals the ball, Alex is already running up the sideline waiting for the go-ahead pass. 

Lucy makes the pass. It’s perfect and just as Alex taps the ball ahead in an urgent attempt at getting some kind of offense going, she hits the ground.

Hard.

The first thing Alex feels is dizzy. And then a sharp pain in her leg. She can sense the panic sinking in and the silent crowd does nothing to quell it. 

It’s two athletic trainers who finally snap her out of her daze. Alex can see Lucy kneeling beside her asking questions that Alex struggles to hear. Coach Grant is halfway across the field looking frightened which certainly doesn’t help. “Is it okay? Am I okay?”  _ It  _ seems to be a point of great debate in Alex’s brain. Her leg hurts but she can’t figure out why and with the trainers hovering around her she can barely see. 

“You’re alright.” Which is probably the vaguest answer she could get in this kind of situation. “Let’s get a stretcher.” 

“What?” Alex looks over and she can see Coach Grant going to the bench and talking to a group of players. It takes until now for Alex to realize that whatever is going on with her leg, it isn’t good. 

“Sorry, Danvers, you’ll have to watch the rest of the game.” Alex's eyes go to Lucy who is glaring daggers at the opposing players. Vasquez has now made their presence known. Arms crossed and a furrowed brow, Vasquez and Lucy watch as Alex is carried off the field on a stretcher. 

“Luce!” Alex yells. Lucy jogs over and Alex hands her the Captain’s armband. Lucy nods and Alex is reminded of why they’re so close. Lucy understands what Alex is going to say without her even saying it.  _ Keep the faith. Win the fucking game. _

Thankfully, coach Grant is a lot more straight forward than the trainers. She stiffens up at the sight of Alex but tries her best to put on a brave face. “Looks like a sprain. Let the trainers take you inside to take care of it.”

“I’m staying out here,” Alex tells her but it’s no use. Coach already has her eyes on the field again. “Coach?”

“It’s not a suggestion, Danvers. Take care of yourself first and then come back.” Alex allows herself to get carted back toward the athletic training facility. 

Alex scans the crowd and locks eyes with Kara. She offers a thumbs up which Kara needs, Alex can tell. She’s taken to the training room. Finally, she can see what the big fuss was about on the field. Her sock is torn and there’s blood dripping down her leg. She must’ve gotten hit with a cleat which, judging by the quick swelling of her ankle, might be the least of her worries. The trainers check it, guiding her to move her leg around. “You’re lucky. Looks like a sprain. It’s minor. We’ll wrap you up and get you some crutches. But, you hit your head, and you might have a concussion.”

“Well, I’m gonna watch the rest of the game.”

“You’re fine to do so, but protocol after. Seven to ten days at least,” The trainer reminds her.

“Got it.” After getting patched up, Alex wastes no time in getting back on the field. She can feel eyes on her as she crutches her way toward the sidelines. She’s too scared to look at Kara or Sam, she’d hate to see them pitying her, so she keeps her eyes forward. 

“What’s Lucy’s mistake right now?” Alex looks to her side. Coach Grant is standing there, arms crossed over her chest looking less than pleased. Alex focuses on Lucy. She’s hedging forward and leaving Kelly and Vasquez to pick up extra space in the mid-field. 

“I’m not really in the mood for a coaching lesson.” 

“Come on, humor me.”

“She’s hedging.” Just as Alex says this, an opposing player steals the ball from Vasquez and uses the open space to break down the mid-field. Alex goes to yell something, like  _ get back _ or  _ stop the ball _ but it’s no use. When the ball does hit the back of the net, just inches away from Leslie’s finger-tips, Coach Grant doesn’t react, it’s like she knew this would happen all along.

It’s an upward battle from there. And lack of time or experience, as is the case with a freshman having to step in for Alex, buries them in the end. 

They lose.

It hurts just like they all expected it would but Coach Grant goes easy on them in the locker room. “It’s probably too late in the season to be reminding you guys of this but you are all capable. You let your emotions get to your head and you tried to rush it. Shit happens. But this is a game of plays. One after the other. Take fall break to think about what you’re playing for. And when we reconvene, I’ll ask you.” Coach Grant clasps her hands together before she walks over to Lucy to have a private word. Everyone else, including Alex, puts on their street clothes. 

“I’m gonna get wasted tonight,” Leslie mutters to Alex. 

“I’ll stick around here for a bit. Catch you at the house later.” Alex grabs the rest of her gear and leaves the locker room. When she walks back on the field, she gets nods from a few fans on their way out. She nearly runs headfirst into Lena. 

“Oh...sorry.” Lena struggles to find the words. 

“It’s okay.” 

“Well, obviously not. You had a bit of a fall.” Lena motions to Alex’s crutches. “Jack and I can stow you at our apartment if you’re not up for a party.” 

“No, you guys go have fun. Seriously.” Lena decides to leave it at that and Alex continues on her way back toward the field. It’s mostly empty now, save for the trainers taking the coolers back, and volunteers cleaning the garbage off the bleachers. 

But there is someone still there. Attempting to kick the ball around invisible obstacles. Alex nearly turns around but she can’t. “Leave that to the professionals.” Sam looks up and smiles. Alex can sense the underlying unease but she presses on. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.” Sam shrugs. “Kara said that you get really moody after a loss and always come back to the field so…”

“I’m not  _ moody _ .” 

“Sure…”

“Whatever.” Alex tries not to smile but she can’t help it, she’s happy that Sam is here. 

“Remember when you drove me around and showed me all your cool spots in town?”

“How could I forget?” Alex crutches forward and steals the ball from Sam with her good foot. 

“Well...let me take you somewhere.” Alex arches her brow. “What? I know places. I’ve been at this damn school for three years.”

“No offense, but I grew up here. I’ve been everywhere.” Sam seems to take that as a challenge. Alex likes this side of Sam. “But okay. I’ll humor you.” Sam looks elated and she starts speed walking off the field. “Hey! I’m on crutches!”

“I’m gonna ask Kara if I can steal her truck. Just wait at the athletic center entrance so I can pick you up!” Sam yells over her shoulder. Alex follows Sam’s orders and isn’t the least bit surprised when Sam comes driving up in Kara’s truck ten minutes later blasting  _ Paramore.  _ “I hope I can drive this thing.” Which is the last thing that Alex wants to hear before she gets in a car with someone but she gets in anyway. 

“You’re crazy.”

“Thanks.” 

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” Sam turns the music up louder and they set off. Alex finds herself looking at Sam more than she should be. But Alex can’t help herself. She knows she’s screwed and, right now, she doesn’t care. “Stop staring,” Sam tells Alex but she doesn’t seem like she minds. “We’re almost there.”

“Well wherever ‘there’ is, it’s in the middle of nowhere.” Alex looks at the surrounding farmland. She rarely goes out this far, unless she’s driving to National City and even then, she normally pays it no mind. But now, Alex sees everything. It’s nice. Warm. Alex rolls down her window and sticks her arm out. “Thanks for taking me away from everything back there.” 

“Anytime.” Suddenly Sam pulls off the highway and they go down a long and winding driveway. “But don’t thank me yet.” Alex can make out some light in the distance. And then a sign:  _ Houndstooth _ . When they pull into the parking lot, Alex finally understands. They’re at a bar. One that Alex has never even heard of. From the looks of it, it’s packed, but the motorcycles and trucks stuffed in the makeshift lot make Alex a little nervous. 

“Looks like a Trump rally.”

“Would you just trust me?” Sam says as they climb out of the truck and start walking toward the entrance. “Oh, I almost forgot!” Sam jogs back to the truck, unlocks the door, and grabs something. When she comes back, she’s holding two cowboy hats. Alex’s eyes widen.

“What’s this?” 

“Accessories.” Sam puts on one of the hats and Alex takes the other. “Come on.” Alex puts on the hat and crutches to the entrance. 

Inside, Alex gets her second shock of the evening. The place is packed like she expected, but it’s filled with people dancing and someone singing some old country ballad on stage. Most people are wearing cowboy hats but the smiles and nods they get makes this place seem friendlier than Alex would’ve ever expected. “Winn went through a cowboy phase and we drove out here like five times last year.” Sam finds them a booth and they sit down. “So…?”

“So...what?”

“Is this place new to you?” Sam flicks the brim of Alex’s hat with a laugh. 

“Yeah, it’s not really a kind of place where I would normally hang out.” Alex looks around more now. There’s a table of butch lesbian’s singing along to a bespeckled cowboy singing  _ Goodbye Earl _ on stage. “But I like it.”

“I knew you would.” Sam orders them both sodas and fries as they get comfortable in their seats. Alex toys with her straw for a moment. 

“What’s with you and Lois?”

“Huh?” Sam knows she looks guilty and Alex can probably read her like a book, but she’s desperate to play coy for now. 

“I dunno, I guess…” Alex looks into Sam’s eyes. “When Kara and I came to get you guys, something seemed off.”

“Everything’s fine.”

“Okay, I believe you.” Sam recognizes very quickly that Alex doesn’t. “So what should I pack?”

“For?”

“The trip. Fall break. The thing you and Nia have been hounding me about.” Sam smiles, thankful that Alex found a way to shift the conversation. “I don’t think sweatpants are the move. Or shorts. I’ve got jeans somewhere.”

“Anything colorful?”

“Not especially.”

“You know it doesn’t actually matter what you wear. We’ll have fun either way.” Alex appreciates the sentiment but she isn’t sure it’s the truth. Alex has always had sports to rely on. She never felt out of place on the field or in her glorified party house. But out in the real world, she knows that things like style matter. She just isn’t so sure she knows how to make that kind of impression. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Alex.”

“I never used to care about fitting in.” Sam listens patiently while Alex diverts her attention to the tacky table between them. “But now, with you, it’s like a whole new pile of things I have to care about.”

“You make me sound pretty terrible.”

“You’re not,” Alex assures her. “Because if you were I sure as hell wouldn't be out in the middle of nowhere asking you if you want to get up there and sing with me.” Sam nearly spits out her soda laughing. 

“Seriously?”

“Why not?” Alex is already standing. She reaches out her hand for Sam to take which she does, tentatively. “I’ll even let you pick the song.”

“So chivalrous,” Sam says with a laugh as they push their way through the crowd. When they get to the MC, Sam gets cold feet. Alex notices the change in her demeanor rather quickly and easily pulls Sam closer to her. 

“Wanna watch me make a fool of myself, instead?” Alex asks with a grin. Sam nods, emphatically, like it’s a dare. And Alex is never one to back down. So she picks a song, grabs a mic, and puts on a show. It’s no surprise that Queen's “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” gets most of the patrons clapping along. Alex picked the song for that exact purpose. It’s also no surprise that Sam looks absolutely dumbstruck at Alex’s voice. What does surprise Alex is how much fun she has on stage. 

It’s freeing. No pressure. Pure fun. And best of all: Sam. 

The night ends with Sam and Alex on a sugar high walking side by side out of the bar. Sam is laughing at Alex’s hat hair and Alex scrambles to fix it on the way to the truck. But when they get there neither one of them makes a move to open the door. Instead Alex steps closer to Sam struggling with her next move. “Thank you for taking me away from everything back at school. I needed it.”

“I figured.” Alex stuffs her hands in her pocket in a futile attempt at not reaching out to Sam. “So, do you need to stay up all night?”

“Hm?”

“Your concussion. I thought you had to stay up all night or something.” 

“Well...what would I do?” Sam blushes and looks away from Alex for a moment. But eventually Sam’s eyes find Alex’s again. “You know, when we’re on Fall Break we can be anything and anyone we want to be.” 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, who are you gonna be?” Sam asks. It’s playful but genuine. Something about the way the words come out and the way her eyes fall to Alex’s lips tells Alex as much. 

“I’ll let that be a surprise for you.” Sam laughs and Alex joins her. “Whatever I am and whatever you are, let’s promise ourselves something.”

“Okay.”

“We leave Midvale behind. Even if it’s for two days.” Alex holds out her pinky and Sam does the same. They pinky swear like kids and Alex doesn’t, not even for a second, feel dorky about it. 

“Just kiss her already!” Alex turns and spots the group of lesbians that she saw earlier. Now it’s her turn to blush. She shares a laugh with Sam as they both tiptoe around the idea of kissing. Again. 

“So…” Sam nods toward the truck. “Back to school?”

“Yeah.” Alex grabs hold of Sam’s hand. It startles them both for a moment. It’s awkward. Alex steps back and tries to laugh it off. Laugh at herself for how desperate she’s becoming. “Sorry...I...thanks again. For this.”

“You’re such a sap,” Sam says, if only to play off how nervous she is. They separate, get in the truck, and drive. And drive and drive. Alex doesn’t know how they decided that this is how they wanted to spend their night, but it makes Alex feel free. Like she can go anywhere. Do anything. She’s reminded that she doesn’t hate Midvale, just the things that have happened to her here. But she’s started to question that. 

Maybe Midvale really is worth loving afterall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world is wild out there, stay safe, and connect with the people that matter to you. 
> 
> Any show or music recs? I need new stuff to listen to/watch!


End file.
